Open Up the Sky
by starnormand
Summary: AU. When Peyton can't get over her ex, she decides to follow him to TH, where she finds out he's dating BD. Immediately she vows to herself to break them up. Heads will roll, hearts break, & new love blossom during a whole lot of scheming. LP CP
1. Chapter 1

A/N: So I got a new story. Again, a AU one 'cause I've discovered I like those better :P. It'll be a quite light-hearted one since what's currently going on in OTH is depressing me. Anyway, I hope you'll enjoy it and leave a review!

Summary: AU. After a break-up, some people cry, others scream and a rare few, like Peyton Sawyer, follow their ex to TH. There her inner bitch is awakened when she sees her ex is by now dating Brooke Davis, queen of Tree Hill High. Together with unexpected but welcome help, she's determined to break them up. Heads will roll, hearts break, & new love blossom during a whole lot of scheming.

Pairings: LP with CP and maybe RN or NH later on.

* * *

**Open Up the Sky**

Chapter 1

_I hold my eyes closed firmly, pretending to be asleep. How wonderful it is to have his fingers run through my hair, to feel his eyes rest on me. It makes me feel sheltered, and I wouldn't want to trade that for anything in the world._

_"Hey blondie," he suddenly calls. A smile curls my lips but I don't respond. "I know you're awake, you know."_

_I feel his hands slipping alongside my waist._

_"No," I suddenly cry._

_"It's your punishment!" he jokingly responds and kittles me. "Say 'mercy'!'_

_"I'm Peyton Sawyer, begging is beneath me!" I manage to squeak in the pauses of my fit of laughter._

_"We'll see about that!"_

_Hardly one minute later I have take my words back as the amount of 'mercies' echoing in my bedroom is pretty embarrassing. Finally he lets me go, looks down at me and then connects his lips with mine in the most amazing way. This boy is the best kisser ever, I swear. His kisses are passionate yet tender, firm yet soft. Just like him, there a whirlwind of contradictions._

_As he pulls back, I catch myself gazing at him like he is my mentor. I admire him like I have never done before with any boy. He's everything I ever wanted: handsome, intelligent, witty, and genius with a guitar. He's my first love, and –call me naive- I'm certain he would be my last._

_"I love you."_

_"I love you too, blondie."_

_"Forever?"_

_"And ever."_

Ever since he cut ties with me about a week ago, these last moments with him have been playing in my head. At first I couldn't understand why he would do such a thing. He knew and must still know how much I love him, though I have to admit I don't necessarily like him right now. So how did I react to this?

Well, since I'm Peyton Sawyer, daughter of Larry Sawyer who happens to be a successful business man but also an absent dad, I just had to snap my fingers for him to grant my wish, which was an apartment in Tree Hill and a school transfer to Tree Hill High. I'm from a neighbouring town, just like Chris, but he was kicked off our high school, and every other one in the area for that matter, which is why he came here in the first place. I came to Tree Hill simply to save what I was positive could be saved. After all, didn't he say the only reason he broke up with me was the distance?

The reason turned out to be more nauseating: it was a girl. Brooke Davis, a slut- I'm sorry, _promiscuous, _brunette with the brain of a pea. I saw them together shortly after I arrived here, at school.Off course I couldn't accept this. Yet I couldn't immediately attack him either, so I went back home to make some plans. However, I'm afraid they aren't very concrete yet. I only got 'make both their lives a living hell' and 'torture'. After, I want Chris back. Not that he deserves me but I just can't stop loving him. What, you say? Crazy? Yes, I know it is, a bit, but I guess that's what love does to you. At least I'm not boiling his rabbit. That's something, right?

So this is my first second day at Tree Hill High, a place that has the amazing ability to make Al Gore look like the most exciting person in the world. I pass a group of cheerleaders who have been looking at me estimating from the moment I walked through the doors and widen my eyes at them provoking. They turn their heads away and immediately start to mumble about me in a bitchy manner. I can tell by the looks on their layers of make-up. You can say a lot of things about me, but that I'm a walking make-up box isn't one of them. I've always been different than the rest, actually and that isn't a good or a bad thing, it's just a fact. For example my clothing. Currently I got Lee Cooper, Ozzy and Chuck Taylor on me. Ha! That sounded kinky, didn't it?

I take my ear bugs out and look around me. Time for some action. I grab the piece of paper I received earlier from the lady at the desk and decode the numbers on it. Quickly I find my locker and open it to throw some picture of punk-, indie-, and rock-bands in it. It helps me feel home a bit, which is currently not the case. I know what you're thinking. I chose for this. I asked my daddy if I could please go to school in Tree Hill because I missed Chris very much. The poor guy off course immediately gave in. He feels guilty, you know, because he isn't around much. I usually don't take advantage of that, but if I wanted to be near Chris, I didn't have any other choice.

"Hi, there," I hear. When I look at my side, I see some jock grinning at me and roll my eyes. I've seen enough of those in my life already. Dumbass 'athletic' boys who think they're the bomb but couldn't spell 'enthusiastic' to save their lives. "What's your name?" he asks. Obviously he doesn't notice the irritation dripping off my face.

"Peyton," I respond dryly.

"Awesome."

"I guess…" I respond uninterested. 'Just like you _not_ talking to me,' I add inside. I'm not going to say those kinds of things just yet. I'm not here to make friends, nor am I here to make enemies. Just to get Chris back. However, the sheepish look he continues to give me is getting me agitated. "Is there something wrong?" I ask.

"Huh, I'm sorry… You're new right?"

I nod.

"Well, I guess they will be crying on the pillows tonight," he says and points to the cheerleaders I passed earlier.

"Why is that?"

"Because there's a new girl and she's more gorgeous than all of them combined."

He leans against his locker and raises his arm above his head. I try my best not to laugh in his face. What a player!

"Do girls actually fall for that?"

What now? Cat lost his tongue? He stares at me stupidly for a couple more seconds and then shrugs my comeback away.

"Off course they do…" He smirks at me the same way Chris can, only I don't like this guy's smirk. It annoys me. "Anyway, I have to go to class now but if you ever need something, I'm here."

"I'll keep that in mind," I respond without the least intention to ever accept his proposition. Hardly a second after he sprints away, the door of my locker is violently shut by a hand that isn't mine. Somewhat shocked I look to my right and see a redhead with psychotic eyes.

"He's mine, slut."

"Huh…Thanks for the welcome."

"I'm serious," she grumbles.

"Look, I've never seen the guy before in my life and I talked with him for what? Three seconds? You seriously need to chill. Besides, he's not my type. Too full of himself."

The girl stares in my eyes a couple of seconds and then sighs somewhat defeated. "I'm sorry. It's just that every time I'm sure I have him, I'm just that little bit too late."

"Is he that popular?"

"Nathan Scott? Huh…He's the Johnny Depp of Tree Hill High."

"Which means he's the Wall Mart version."

The redhead cracks a smile. "Rachel Gattina," she then offers me her hand. "Co-captain of the cheerleading squad, which is _pretty much_ the only reason I'm not treated as a pariah. Just thought you should know."

"Interesting…" I nod. "I'm Peyton Sawyer." I think shortly about her words. If rumours serve me right, that means she leads the cheerleading squad with Brooke Davis, who will soon wish she was never born. "So I assume you know Brooke Davis?"

"Yeah…" Rachel rolls her eyes. Something tells me she isn't too fond of my love rival. Actually, every person I asked Brooke Davis about had a similar reaction. It's frustrating to know he picked the object of this school's irritation over me. "Everyone does, and everyone talks about her. Especially since she has started dating that Chris Keller. Rumour has it he has been kicked off every school he ever attended, simply because he was too much of a smartass."

Oh, he was more than just a smartass. When it was only the two of us, he was the most caring person in the world but he was a horror concerning authority figures. Every time a teacher commented on something he or she didn't approve, Chris had a razor sharp yet hilarious answer. I'm actually slightly scared to go through with operation 'ruin his relationship' because of this. However, I soothe myself with the thought that he still loves me and that he would never turn his hate towards me.

"He's very hot, though."

"Hmm." I nod as indifferently as I can. "Where can I find them?"

x

Finding each one separately wasn't very hard. However, I wanted them both together, so I could increase the level of discomfort when he'd see me. In case you didn't pick it up yet, before I'd get him back, I'd torture him a bit and suck the life out of his relationship with the BB –brainless brunette- slowly yet profound. So here I was, in the gym. I had to do my very best not to scoff when I heard Chris is present during every cheer practice. He never did that when he was with me.

Patiently I wait until the practise is over. I have a sickening feeling in my stomach by now, watching him gaze at BB with googley eyes. Disgusting. However, I noticed something very interesting too: one extremely jealous blond basketball player and BB avoiding his stares. I don't have all that much experience in love but you don't have to be a love doctor to see the jealous guy and BB were once an item. She seems to be over him though. The other way around…Not so much. Confidently, I walk up to Chris and his cheerleader to give them a warm greeting. Seeing his eyes widen in utter shock as I approach him gives me so much pleasure I have to suppress to urge to burst into laughter. Oh, he's so getting what's coming to him.

Without giving him a single look, I force a smile Brooke's way. "Hi," I sweetly say and offer her my hand. "I'm Peyton Sawyer."

"I'm-"

"I know who you are. You're quite famous around here," I explain. "Anyway, I just got started here at Tree Hill High…. And uhm…I asked around a bit and it seems like you're the person to go to if you love cheerleading. Which I do. I LOVE cheerleading," I lie.

I hate cheerleading. Intensely. But, I was one at my previous school too. My mom used to be a cheerleader, you know, and we never really had a lot in common. So being a cheerleader is like a tribute to her, but it also makes me feel better about myself. I see how BB runs her eyes over me, trying to read me. I think she's thinking I'm not the typical cheerleader. Too much black, you know? Washes you out and a washed-out cheerleader is a no-go.

"Hi," I now say to Chris. "You're not very talkative, are you?"

Chris turns even redder and begins to open and shut his mouth nervously. BB kinks her eyebrow at him before she points her attention back to me. "You're lucky," she responds while she obviously can't seem to keep herself from eying me suspiciously. "Auditions are tomorrow." BB turns around and pulls Chris, who seems like he has swallowed one of those basketballs, with. "Don't be late."

"I'll be right on time."

As I watch them walk away a slender figure slides behind me. "So that's why you were so eager to find them."

"Huh…I don't know what you mean."

Rachel grins at me. "I can't see how anyone with eyes couldn't make this link. You know Chris, don't you?"

"What are you?" I ask in disbelief. "An oracle?"

"Kinda," she admits. "I'm very good at spotting love-related tension and this, well, it was the perfect example. Let me guess: he was your bf, you loved him very much but unfortunately, he broke your heart and that is why you've decided to follow him to Tree Hill High. Boohoo."

"That's really none of your business but if you must know, yes, we were together. I'm just in this hell hole to get him back. At all costs, and as soon as I succeed, I'm out of here so fast I'll make the Roadrunner jealous." I don't know why I'm telling this girl all of this but there's something about her that makes you not care about what she thinks about you.

"You vindictive little bitch…" She bites her lip and then smiles widely. "I've got the feeling we'll be great friends."

"What about your dearest co-captain?"

"What about her? I'm not her friend. She hates my guts. Same with me."

"Care to talk about it?"

"No…" she responds with a hint of vulnerability. "At least not yet… It's something that happened a while ago…But whatever," Rachel continues. "If you want to ruin her, I'm your woman."

I have to admit I'm surprised. She seems to hate BB more than I do. In any case, it's obvious that whatever Brooke did to her was awful. I mean, like _awful_ if you know Rachel wants to help a perfect stranger bring her down.

"Alright."

x

"So…" Rachel begins between sipping her coke. It's lunch time and most people have decided to go sit outside. I cracked up earlier when Rachel plumped herself down opposite me, with a look in her eyes that suggested she was up to no good. She's something, this girl. "…If you're serious about this," Rachel continues quite business-like. "About breaking them up, you're going to have to step up the bitch act."

"I'm aware," I respond and push my plate away. God, food is bad here. And quite indefinable.

"What do you have in mind?"

"I'll just…make her think he's cheating. Or the other way around. Both should work. When they break up, I'll be there to pick up the pieces. It shouldn't be too hard really."

But…" she then changes her tone. "….Brooke and Chris…Well, they're like two love-sick puppies. It's nauseating. And they're not only crazy in love, but they are vicious! Like a devil couple. I'm sorry to say but I don't think it'll be that easy. What you want requires a lot of viciousness and cruelty. Are you up for that?"

I bit my bottom lip as I look down. The truth is, I used to be way more passive when it comes to love. Actually, didn't have a boyfriend until I was sixteen. I was very intimidating, you see. People didn't dare to approach that dark, 'emo' girl who spent her time drawing cynic images… But Chris, he saw through all of that. He saw me, as I really was. He was my first. I opened up to him completely, told him all my fears and dreams only to be left heartbroken. Isn't it only fair that he glues my heart back together now?

"Then I guess I'll need all the help I can get," I answer firmly.

"What about him?" Rachel points to something. I look over my shoulder and rest my eyes on the guy who I saw staring so jealously at Chris earlier.

"Blondie?

"He's Brooke's ex, and Nathan's brother but that doesn't matter now. Anyway, the moment Chris came in the picture she dropped him like a ton of bricks. It was a huge embarrassment, and he looked very hurt, broken… You know, _sad_. I actually felt sorry for him. And me feeling sorry for someone, that's rare."

"Rachel," I sigh and kink an eyebrow. "Yes, I saw him. He is…_blah. _His biggest sin is probably the one time he skipped church, five years ago. And that was because he had to take care of his sick grandma. He's too nice. It'd be like asking Zac Efron to lay off the lip gloss. He'd never do it, unless I force him or something."

She shrugs and takes another sip of her drink. "It's your call."

x

Day three at Tree Hill High. During lunch, I'm able to get Chris alone in the English class. I block the door and look at him as if he isn't fit to wipe my boots. He doesn't pay any attention to it and paces aggressively between the chairs. "Are you fucking serious? You moved to Tree Hill?"

"Oh, no, it isn't going to be like this," I let him know. "I'll do the talking, and you listen to me…" He's speechless and I take the opportunity to continue my rant. "I loved you so much, Chris…You know, so how could you lie? You said the reason you were breaking up with me was because of the distance. I thought if I moved to Tree Hill maybe… Anyway, I know it seems impulsive-"

"You can say that again," he mumbles.

"But I just wanted to be able to make us work."

"Peyton…"

"And then I come here, and I see you making out with some bimbo?"

"Don't talk about her like that."

This order is like a sledgehammer hitting me. How can he make this about her? I'm the one hurting here? Where is the caring Chris as he was with me? I thought I had changed him. He used to be the biggest ass before I knew him, and it seems like he has reverted to his old ways.

"Look, I loved you too, but… I'm with Brooke now. I'm sorry. You shouldn't be here."

"Well, I am, aren't I?" I give him an icy look and reduce my voice to a calculated calmness. "But don't worry, I won't try to break you guys up or something," I lie with ease. "I will stay here though, 'cause I refuse to waste my dad's money, just because you're a man-ho. Actually, Nathan Scott has already sparked an interest in me and he's twenty times the man you are." Let's not mention I wouldn't go anywhere with him, emotionally and physically unless someone would hold a gun at my head.

Chris rolls his eyes, turns around and walks through the door. "Whatever. As long as you leave me alone."

In my imagination, I'm running over to him, pulling his hair and scratching his face. In reality, I exit the class room a couple minutes later, yet still fuming. To make matters worse, I am immediately confronted by Chris and BB making out by his locker. What an ass. Why in God's name do I love him? I wish I had no heart, just a hole where it should sit. Life would be much easier then. Looking away from them, I see a broken figure by the stairs. It's the blond I saw at the gym yesterday. Lucas, I believe. I notice his facial expressions growing harsher and begin to wonder…Maybe I can use him after all. The look in his eyes betrays the hate he feels towards Chris yet also the love for BB. If there's any other person beside me who desperately wants those two apart, it must be him. Without a doubt.

So after school, I follow Lucas outside where I see him settling himself on a bench and pulling out a book. A jock reading? The only thing this boy misses is one of those hair-dos boarding school students had in the fifties. He's too perfect. I step over the school ground, step through the gate and then walk over to him. He indeed looks very innocent and sombre, like Rachel had hinted. He is like a wounded puppy that is crying for help, but so silently so no one hears it. Except for me but that's because I'm exceptionally alert right now.

"Hi there."

He looks up at me with a glance in his eyes that makes it clear he doesn't know what the hell I'm doing here, or why I'd talk to him. "Hi."

"I need your help."

"Huh… I don't _know_ you."

"You will soon. See, from now on, you're gonna be the Clyde to my Bonnie, Lucas."

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This was one of the first times I ever wrote in the I-person so I hope I did alright. Just a small reply to the person who said Peyton seems OOC. I know she does now, but the typical Peyton traits will come out soon. I got it all planned out in my head lol.

Anyway, tell me what you think!

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	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Thanks for the reviews! I'm very happy with the response seeing AU stories usually aren't as well received as 'normal' ones. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this next chapter too!

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Chapter 2

_I guess this is the part where he thinks I'm a lunatic who he should escape from as soon as possible. He stands up and shifts his eyes nervously, like a deer who suspects there's a lion hiding in the bushes._

_"I…I…No! I won't help you with that."_

_As he walks away from me he looks a couple of times over his shoulder. I have to say I'm wondering if Brooke isn't as flat as I thought. If you can fall for someone like Chris but also for someone this introvert, pure and innocent, you got to have some kind of layering in your personality, right? Anyway, it sucks that he won't help me but it isn't the end of the world. I didn't see how I would've ever gotten him to be sneaky anyway. He's like the Mother Theresa of Tree Hill, minus the habit._

x

_Another day at Tree Hill High. But, as a cheerleader now. That's right; I got in, because I'm a damn good one, but also because Rachel likes me. Speaking of the devil…She's standing at my locker. I have to say people have warned me about her already. She's supposed to be a cold-hearted slut but I don't know…I think there's more to her than that. I'd say all Rachel wants is someone who cares about her. Now, I'm not saying we're best friends forever already, but I do want to try and be a good friend to her. I'll be needing one here too anyway._

_We greet each other and talk about yesterday's cheer auditions as we walk together to chemistry. It's my first class where I'll sit together with Brooke, Chris, and also Lucas. It should get interesting._

_Hardly ten minutes later, I'm holding an iron nail above a flame. I suppose I have to conclude the nail doesn't burn because of the high density and pull it back. After I tell that to Bevin, my lab partner and someone who makes Paris Hilton look like Einstein, I go back to my seat. A minute later Chris and Lucas do the test too. I cock my ears to find out how these two exactly communicate. I bet it's anything but friendly._

_"Let me do it!" Chris snaps as they bicker about who'll hold the nail in the fire. Lucas rolls his eyes and gives in. I don't understand why Chris is so eager to do this, except for the fact that he might still see Lucas as competition and wants to steal his thunder in every single way. _

_"You're not holding it correctly," Lucas comments._

_"I am."_

_"No, it should be straighter."_

_"Oh, you mean like you?!"_

_"What?" he asks through his teeth._

_"Yeah, you heard it right. Don't you think she told me about your relationship? Always whining about your feelings. About your daddy, who loves your brother more than you. Boohoo." He scoffs. "Grow some balls… And by the way, real men don't cry. Even not after a break-up. No wonder she dumped your ass."_

_Oh…What's happening? Lucas steps a bit closer to Chris as the whole class his holding their breath. Judging by the murdering look in Lucas' eyes, he's about to lose it._

_"What are you gonna do? Hit me?"_

_Lucas coldly chuckles and backs off. "I'm finished here."_

x

_"Peyton! Wait up!"_

_I smile widely hearing Lucas' voice as I step away from the chemistry class room. Thank you, Chris. "Lucas… What's up?" I ask kindly, yet knowing what is up. You don't have to be a nuclear scientist to know._

_"I just…I" He scratches his neck nervously._

_"Look, I'm sorry about what Chris said," I help him get into the conversation. "He can be mean sometimes." Although I don't have very sincere intentions with him, I do mean what I say. I don't know Lucas but he seemed hurt when Chris mentioned his father. No one should have to deal with those kind of comments._

_"Umm, yeah," he responds absently. Talking about Chris obviously isn't his favourite pastime. "Anyways, I…I changed my mind."_

_"About?"_

_"About what you asked me. I do want to help."_

_I act surprised. "Really? I mean, are you sure? 'Cause if you aren't I'd rather if you'd not. If we're getting into this, I want you to be in it 'till the end, you know?"_

_"Yes, yes, I will be," he responds although I doubt if he's thinking all that clearly now. Chris gave him an emotional beating there._

_"Alright," I say and then look at the exit. "Uhm…I gotta go now but come over to my place after school."_

_"To do what?"_

_"To discuss our game plan."_

_"Oh right." He looks down slightly embarrassed. "I'm huh…I'm not really used to this."_

_"To what? Ruining people? You'll learn." To tell the truth, I haven't done something like this ever before either and it does gnaw on my conscience but in love and war all is fair right?_

_Lucas nods a tad helplessly and I can't help but frown uncertain. His help is welcome yet…Look at him! He's such a tortured soul. But not like I'm tortured. He's not as cynical as I am. I do believe he still has faith in the goodness of people despite what they did to him. I don't._

_"So, I guess…"_

_"Yeah. I'll be seeing ya."_

x

"So sweetheart, are you settling in nicely?"

"Yes, dad," I respond.

"How's Tree Hill?"

"Tree Hill is pretty small but the people seem nice."

"That's good."

"It is."

Interesting conversation, isn't it? I don't know how we got this way. Well, I do, actually. He's never around and so gives me the feeling he doesn't care all that much about what I say or do. That's why I don't bother to sound enthusiastic to hear from him anymore. Why would I invest in this relationship when he doesn't?

"Good, good. But I have to go back to work, sweetheart. Bye."

"Bye."

Still, when I put down the phone I can't help but feel depressed. I don't have anything worthy in my life if you think about it. No mother, hardly a father, no boyfriend and one friend through similar hate for one person. I've got reason to be bitter. Besides, being friendly doesn't get you anywhere, that much I have learned. You've got to be tough in this world to survive. It's the survival of the fittest.

"Hey," I suddenly hear. "Are you alright? Who was that?"

I look up and see Lucas by the door opening of my room. I told him he could let himself in. "No one. Well, my dad..."

"Something he said?"

"No no…"

"It's just th-"

"I'm fine," I respond in a tone that suggests he should drop it. "Let's go downstairs."

x

"God, being evil is bad and all, but that is genius," he compliments as I show him the brownie ingredients and the box of laxatives. I thought of this together with Rachel and couldn't help but laugh at the mere thought of what was going to happen.

"Thank you. I get strokes of brilliance sometimes."

I turn around and begin making the dough. "So Lucas…" I tried to start a conversation. "How exactly did she break up with you?"

He gazes at me sheepishly.

"If you don't want to tell, th-"

"No, it's OK. She…She…I was out playing at the Rivercourt wh-"

"Rivercourt?"

"Yeah…It's this place where I've played basketball like... All my life. It has always made me feel sheltered for some reason." He says that last bit in such a heartfelt tone I can't help but look up from my brownie mixture. He pauses a moment before continuing. "But anyway, she just stepped on the court and announced she was in love with someone else."

"Ouch. Cold."

"Apparently Chris likes them that way."

I raise my eyebrows at him. "What are you saying? I'm cold?"

"Well…"

"I can be warm. At least I could be with Chris."

"Ah, but that must be because he's so caring, sweet, not an obnoxious asshole at all…"

"Look. I know he comes across as a bit…unpleasant but when you're alone with him-as a girl at least, you feel so… _special_."

"Why?" he asks curiously.

"Well…He can look at you like …Like you're the last girl on earth. And he listens to you like your words are his breath and he can't live without them. Brooke is not good for him," my tone changes from a soft to a sharp one. "No offence, but she's a shallow bitch. What does she got to offer except for sex?"

"Hmmm…I guess she's like Chris in that aspect. She makes you feel alive, when you're alone with her." He sighs. "I really love her. It's sad, and kind of masochistic."

"I hear you."

We share a look of self-pity.

"Oh…" he then suddenly lets out and points to my hand. "What are you doing there?"

"I'm putting a dash of salt in the bowl."

"Yeah," he laughs as he spoons the salt out. "That's not a dash. We want him to eat at least two, right? With your cooking qualities he won't eat a half one."

"That's not very nice!"

"Well, believe it or not, I'm not as nice and perfect as you obviously think."

"What? How -"

"You radiate it. Don't you…Think you're better than me? Because you think you got a personality and I don't?"

"No!" I quickly say, a bit shocked. I don't want people to think I feel superior to them. If they think I'm a bitch or a fridge, alright, but that just rubs me the wrong way. "I don't. I just think we're different. I mean, I'm so…and you're so…You know?"

"It's alright, really," he reassures me. "I've been looked at that way all my life, as lesser and it's OK. It's something you learn to deal with. That's why I miss and love Brooke so much. She accepted me the way I was, and I did the same with her."

I look at him a bit sadly. I don't think he's lesser, honest but I don't want to give a speech either about how I respect him as a person but that he's just not my kind of people. Let's just stick to business. "You'll get Brooke back," I instead say.

Further I step away from the counter. "Anyway, as I recall correctly you were criticizing my cuisine?"

He smiles softly and takes my place in front of the bowl. "Watch and learn."

x

I cannot believe I am doing this. After breaking in Brooke's house to set up our plan there, I'm now climbing in a tree, binoculars around my neck and following that curly menace up. Never in my life have I come across a girl like her, but I'm not too sure if that's a good thing. She a lot more skilled in tree-climbing than me, apparently seeing she has already reached the top.

"You coming, Tarzan?" she asks.

Puffing I reach the branch she's sitting on. She shuffles a bit to the right to let me sit We've got a great view on the living room from here. "So when is she coming home?" Peyton asks.

"Ten, fifteen minutes."

"Alright," she nods determined.

I gaze at her for a couple of seconds. She notices and turns around to look at me with that ever defensive look in her eyes. "What?"

"You never told me how he broke up with you. Must've been pretty bad too seeing you're sitting in a tree in a different town."

"Huh…That's none of your business."

"Excuse me?" I ask in disbelief. "I think I got the right to know. I told you how she broke up with me, and besides, without me you wouldn't even be able to do this."

"Don't get too cocky. I would've found a way." I'm not an expert in body language but the way Peyton is positioning herself now I can easily translate in 'Back off!'. Congratulations to Chris if she was warm with him 'cause from where I'm standing she's a freaking ice queen.

"Fine," I give in. "Then don't tell me now."

"Now?"

"You know you will tell me sooner or later."

I'm not sure of that, not at all. I'm just trying to get reaction from her. I just can't believe she's really like this and I've already seen she isn't. When I came into her room earlier, I saw vulnerability in her. Now, I'm not saying we should create a deep friendship, but while we're working together, we might at least get to know each other a bit too.

She looks at me slightly angered. "What?"

"All I am saying is that…I get the feeling you're kind of lonely, like you can use someone to talk to and seeing we're in the same boat…"

"I'm not lonely. I'm individualistic. There's a difference."

"Well, even individualists need someone from time to time."

"Lucas, listen," she firmly begins. "I think you got this a bit wrong. I don't want to be friends with you. Hell, I don't even like you. You're just a means to an end and that's how you should consider me as too. Is that clear?"

"Whatever you say, Peyt."

"Don't call me that."

"How?"

"Peyt."

"I like it."

"I don't."

"Well, that's too bad, 'cause I'm calling you 'Peyt' from now on."'

"Ugh." She rolls her eyes. "I-"

"They're here."

Our attention is immediately pointed to the red Range Rover riding into the garage. We share a meaningful look and then take our binoculars.

* * *

"Oh, babe, brownies! Can I have one?" 

"Huh?" Brooke looks over her shoulder and indeed sees a plate filled with brownies. Confused she lifts one eyebrow. No one in her family likes brownies so what are they doing here. Maybe their maid Maria thought they loved brownies and baked them as a kind gesture. "Sure."

Twenty minutes and three brownies later, Chris and Brooke are making out on the couch. Seeing they're both horny as hell twenty-four seven, it doesn't take long before they begin tugging each other's belts.

"Your parents…"

"…won't be home until nine."

"Great."

Just as Chris is about to pull Brooke's pants down, a stabbing feeling goes through his stomach. "Ouch!" he cries.

"Are you alright?"

Chris breaths in deeply a couple of times and then tries to resume his actions but in vain. The pain in his stomach is unbearable and so he jumps of the couch and sprints the bathroom's way. This isn't a good. Having an indigestion at your girlfriend's place is wrong on so many different levels it isn't even funny.

* * *

"That's priceless!" Lucas laughs. 

I nod with a grin before I put my binoculars down. I'm quite sure the image of Chris jumping off her and Brooke's what-the-hell face made us both forget about their make-out session. "Now we have to wait. Wanna play a game?"

"Sure."

"Sex, marry, push off a cliff?"

"'Kay."

"Alright. Ummm…Natalie Portman, Angelina Jolie and Scarlett Johansson."

I wait patiently as Lucas thinks and thinks, and thinks. Such a doubter!

"Come on, Luke. Just follow your heart."

"OK, I'd push Scarlett of the cliff."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah. She'd be alright. Her boobs should make her landing soft."

"St. Lucas!" I gasp out. "You don't want to lose your halo, do you?"

"Ugh…" he groans. "You're so annoying. I'll push _you_ off the cliff instead."

"I'm not an option," I point out. "Just continue."

"Sex with Natalie Portman and marry Angelina."

"Why marry Angelina? You know she wants her husband's blood around her neck, right?"

"I like complicated women. They're a challenge."

"Like Brooke?" I ask in a mocking tone.

"No. Not like her. Look, I can't control what I feel, especially not with Brooke. I…I just fell for her. I know in theory, she's not exactly one of a kind to most, but she is to me. Otherwise I wouldn't be sitting here with leaves hanging over my head."

"Alright. Sorry I insulted your princess."

"Actually I called her 'pretty girl'."

"Oh Luke…You shouldn't tell me these things when there's no puke bucket in the neighbourhood."

* * *

"Just a minute!" he cries exhausted. 

Finally, though, the pain is fading away and he just sighs. Those were brownies from hell! What the hell did their maid put in them? He reaches for the toilet paper with his hand. Or at least, so he thought because…There is none. His eyes widen. What to do? This is a freaking catastrophe, it's like evil forces have a hand in this.

He can't possibly call Brooke and ask for toilet paper. Your girlfriend seeing you sit on the toilet is a scenario he can't even think about without cringing. For a couple of moments, Chris scans the bathroom, looking for a toilet paper replacement. Finally he finds it: little washing cloths. It's better than nothing. What a fiasco!

Five minutes later he can at last leave the bathroom. Now just get rid of everything. He still can't believe this but starts to think it must be karma. Leave your girlfriend; be stuck in your new one's bathroom with indigestion but without toilet paper. His energy is sucked out of him, his face pale as he walks out of the bathroom. Immediately Brooke comes up to him and asks him if he's alright. He just nods.

"Where are you going?" he then questions as she tries to walk past him. "I wouldn't go in there if I were you."

"I just wanted to wash my hands."

"But-"

"Please don't."

"Huh…OK…"

"I just have to go sit down now," he mumbles and plumps himself down in the couch.

"We can watch a movie," Brooke suggests.

Chris moans, which the brunette takes as an affirmation. Not much later, they're watching the English Patient, one of the most boring films of all time in Chris' opinion. Under normal circumstances he would never watch it, or it'd be with a lot of complaining and mocking, but these aren't normal circumstances.

During the course of the film, he slowly slips into a sleep which he is powerless against. Minutes pass wherein Brooke just watches Ralph Fiennes lying down in bed until she decides she'll wash her hands now. It's the perfect timing: she just ate chips and doesn't like this part anyway.

In order not to wake up Chris, she steps into the bathroom, lets the water run and grabs her rose soap as silent as possible. After, she looks for something to dry her hands on and quickly notices her mother's little South-Indian, silk washing cloths aren't where they were this morning. Strange. No one has been here and Maria always puts them by the bath tub. Always.

Suddenly her attention is drawn to the fact there also isn't any toilet paper anymore. She mightn't be the smartest of her class but in this case, she quickly puts two and two together. Un-freaking-believable! He used her mother's imported South-Indian washing cloths to…? She can't even phantom it! Those were like fifty dollars a piece! Her mother would _kill_ her!

* * *

"That's not true! If I was as intimidating as you say, why did your brother come up to me then?" 

"Nathan is a player. He'll go after every girl who looks good."

"You're making me feel so special," she says sarcastically.

"I'm sorry, that's just the truth. Don't let him get you. By the way, I think you know you're special; you don't need a guy's reassurance about that. I mean, see you sitting here in a tree, stalking your ex. That's VERY special."

"Shut up," she retorts and taps his arm. "You're just as bad as I am."

"That's bec-"

"They're fighting!" she suddenly cries and takes her binoculars to behold the spectacle better.

Man, is Brooke pissed. I never got her so angry during our whole relationship but then again, I knew how important her mother's South-Indian silk washing cloths are. They were imported from India and cost way too much money for what it actually is. Brooke herself doesn't really care about them, but she does –for some reason- care about her monster of a mother.

"It's so annoying we can't hear what they're saying," Peyton comments.

"Who cares? She's obviously fuming!"

"You're enjoying this!" she accuses smiling.

"I'm…most definitely not!"

"Whatever you say."

Suddenly Chris leans against the wall, visibly drained; Brooke walks up to him. "What's this?" Peyton asks panicky. "Why is she putting her arm around him?"

"I think you overdid it with the laxatives! You got him sick!"

"Oh God!" she sighs. "Well; I never said I was an expert at this; I've never done this kind of thing either! He wasn't supposed to get exhausted! He was supposed to…Scream along. UGH!" She leans back against the tree trunk. "All this effort for nothing. We probably strengthened their relationship or something equally sickening!"

x

"Do you like your brother, Lucas?" I ask. We're standing by my locker discussing what went wrong yesterday and we're also brainstorming a bit about what our next move will be.

"No, he's an ass."

"Great. Then we'll use him."

"What do you mean?"

"I'll make him throw a party."

"How?"

"Boys are dumb, and especially him. All I'll have to do is bat my lashes a couple of times."

"Alright, Poison Ivy."

"Funny," I comment in a sarcastic tone. "But try to concentrate on the plan instead of Batman."

"Okay, okay. So then what?"

"Get Chris away from Brooke, and then make my move."

"What about me?"

"He doesn't have to notice you're there."

"I don't know…"

"Look, Lucas, are we in this together or not?"

"We are b-"

"So, act like it."

"Alright, alright…"

"- oh, oh, hide!"

"What? Why?"

"Just go!" I open the janitor's closet, enter it and pull him in. I hold my breath in nervousness and tried to push Lucas as far back as possible. He's standing behind me and I got my hand on the door knob. This is actually kind of exciting.

"Can you tell me why we're here? Your hair is tickling me," he complains and slightly pushes my curls.

"Chris was there and he can't see us together or he'll now something is up. Nobody can see us together, except for Rachel. And for the love of God, will you please stay out of my hair?"

He sighs, probably wondering what he has gotten himself into. Suddenly I feel someone pulling the closet from the other side! Oh no! Off course he feels something is up, typically Chris. If anyone taught me how to be sneaky, it's him. He told me once it's alright to be evil once in a while 'cause it gets you respect and simply whatever you want. But, all I want now is not to get busted.

"Help," I plea as silently as possible.

Lucas does what I ask and puts his hand on the door knob, over mine. I notice he got nice hands. A bit rough, but beautiful, manly hands. Overall, Chris is definitely not as broad-built as Lucas is and -like I said before- I haven't had a lot of boyfriends yet so Lucas' stomach and chest intrigue me. They seem very muscled and I kind of want to poke them, just to see what gives.

"Is his part of your plan too?" he asks.

* * *

"Huh, no…" 

Then, as soon as it started, the pulling stops. I sigh relieved but don't dare to open the closet just yet. "Just a couple of minutes," she orders me and so I wait.

I can't help but noticed she smells very good. I think she uses a shampoo or body lotion with vanilla scent. She's got a great pair of legs too. They seem to go on for miles. I think she knows; judging from the short jean skirts she always wears.

"You got nice hands," she suddenly says.

How do you react to a compliment like that? "Thanks," I reply furrowing my brows. "You got nice legs. Firm."

An awkward silence rushes in and I immediately curse myself for saying that. Couldn't I have said I liked her hair, or her eyes? "I mean, I-" When I hear her chuckle, I'm relieved. "Glad I made you laugh," I say a tad shyly.

"Coast is clear!" we suddenly hear.

Peyton opens the door and steps out; I'm right behind her. What follows is a lecture from Rachel about how we're lucky she could lure Chris away and that we have to be more subtle 'cause if we keep this up, our plans will fall to pieces.

* * *

When Rachel is finished preaching, she decides Lucas should disappear. "Alright, alright…" he gives in when she starts to give him a million reasons why _he_ should beat it instead of _Peyton_. At the beginning of last school year, the redhead tried to seduce Lucas but when that didn't work, she turned against him completely. The fact that he was together with Brooke –her eternal rival- only made her dislike bigger. 

Peyton raises her hand and waves slightly as he walks away. Then she turns around and opens her locker to get some books with a big smile on her face.

"What's that?"

"What?"

"The smile."

"_God_…Is me laughing or smiling so weird?"

"Uh, yeah. You don't like, _enjoy_ his company, do you?"

"Eek no! He's such a bore," Peyton is quick to reassure her. "Besides, that would make all of this planning and brainstorming rather pointless, wouldn't it? So no, I don't like him. I'm not even his friend, and I'd rather cut out my own intestines and snorkel in them than think of him in a romantic way."

Rachel shudders horrified by the image. "Too much information."

"Sorry."

"So what's next?"

"Nathan."

"If y-"

"Don't get too worked up. Come on, I'll explain you what's the plan while we walk to class."

* * *

So, like I said, this story isn't going to be as heavy as my other ones. BTW, how amazing were the LP scenes last night? Especially Hil totally blew my away. 

Anyway, tell me what you think!


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Thanks for the reviews. I really enjoy reading them and it encourages me to write more. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this next chapter. It's a pretty long one.

* * *

Chapter 3

"This Saturday?"

"Yep."

I gaze up at him quite pleased with myself but instead of the happy face I expected from him, I get a worried and unsure one. What the hell? This party is the ideal opportunity to get Brooke and Chris back; he should give more than _that_ face. "What's wrong, Lucas?"

"I…Nothing."

"Come on…" I insist. "Do you want Brooke back or not?"

He throws another concerned look my way, stops dribbling and walks up to me. "I do want Brooke back, Peyton, but I don't feel comfortable using you like this." I want to open my mouth and point out to him I'm using him too but he's not to be stopped. "Yes, I know you don't have any problem using me and if it wouldn't concern Nathan, I probably wouldn't have a problem with this either but it does and….It's just that umm…Nathan doesn't do this much effort for a girl unless he wants to get her in bed. I want you to be careful, Peyton."

"I'm a big girl; I can look after myself, alright? You don't have to worry about me. Not at all."

"I hope so."

I give him a short nod and put my pencil to the paper again.

"What are you drawing there?" Lucas then asks, pointing at my sketches.

"Oh…" I hold up my drawing. Since I didn't have anything better to do, I decided to draw him whilst playing basketball. He raises his brows at me with a teasing smirk.

"No need to get arrogant, this doesn't mean I'm into you, just that I'm very, very bored."

He takes the sketch out of my hands and stares at it impressed. "Wow, this is actually really good. I didn't know you could do this…"

"Uhm…It's nothing. Loads of people can do this."

"Yeah? Not the people I know. You're…You're really talented."

Now he shouldn't do this. I don't know what exactly it is in me that makes me so defensive and aimed at when someone compliments me but I do know it's there and it instantly gives me a feeling of discomfort. I pull the drawing out of his hands. "It's nothing. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go do my chemistry homework."

"Peyton! I have chemistry with you remember? We don't have anything to do for tomorrow."

"Well…doesn't matter. I just have to go home."

"Why? There's no one waiting there for you."

He closes his eyes shortly and bites his bottom lip as he realizes what he just said is less than tactful. I'm a bit shocked to tell the truth, and also hurt although or_because_ it's true. Lucas approaches me, obviously regretting his words. "Look, I'm sorry-"

"I don't care," I cut him off harshly.

"What?"

"I don't care. About what you say." I give him a dirty look, turn around and walk away.

"I think you do," he calmly responds. I stop. It is as he can force me to listen to his words, even though I don't want to hear them one bit. "I think you're not as tough as you pretend to be and that really, you just need to be cared about. I think you need your parents."

I sigh deeply as I feel the tears welling up in my eyes. Great. Why am I being such a girl and why does he insist on digging deeper? Can't he just be happy with what I'm offering him? I'm helping him get his girlfriend back. Isn't that enough?

"Whatever you say Lucas."

x

Softly I run my finger over a photo album that hasn't seen any daylight in about four years. It's decorated with little teddy bears and pink bows and it makes me feel oh-so nostalgic. I lift it as careful as I would a wounded bird and go sit in my couch. Looking at the happy child in the photos, together with my mother and father as a cosy family, I almost can't believe that was me. How things have changed…

A knock on the door cause me to quickly close the photo album.

"Hi there."

I roll my eyes. Unbelievable.

"Hear me out alright?" he quickly begins. "I…I know you said you don't care about what I say…And I'm not as pretentious as to insist you do, but still, you seemed hurt, and I want to apologize."

Slowly I bow my head and put my hands before my eyes. At first I thought _I_ was going to be bad for _him_ but I couldn't have been more wrong. He's like some kind of shrink, trying to get through my 'layers of pain' and 'wall of fear'.

"Is that an album?"

What? This I can't comprehend. I just told him to stay out of my business. "You know Lucas? Whatever this is…I don't feel comfortable with it."

He rips his eyes away from my album and looks at me with fire. "It's called me being nice," he snaps.

"Well it's got to stop. I'm neither some lost cause you need to help, nor am I your friend. I'm just someone who'll help you _get_ to your cause, alright? And now, if you don't mind, I'd like you to leave."

Slightly surprised at my harshness he furrows his brow. "Why does it have to be like this? Why do you feel you need to act so rude?"

"I'm not acting rude; I'm just not interested in being friends."

"Believe, I'm not either. Especially not now," he fires back. "All I want from you is a little humanity and you can't even give me that! You say you want me to leave?!?" The tone of his voice is comparable with the sound of a machine gun. "Fine, I will then…" He turns around furiously. "_God_!" he lets out as he opens the door. "If I wanted to be treated like a piece of shit I might as well hang out with Nathan."

He further storms away and I just let myself sink into the couch with a by now aching head. Oh, misery!

* * *

The next day after school I follow Lucas outside to apologize for my behaviour yesterday. My screwed up life isn't his fault. I wait until most people in our year have hopped in their cars and left before I go join him on that bench he has settled himself on again; it seems to be his favourite spot to read. He doesn't even look up when I go sit down next to him and I can't help but frown sadly. Maybe I do care a bit about what he says and feels after all. Just a bit, though. 

"OK," I sigh. "This…apologizing…It's hard for me, but here goes: Lucas, I'm sorry. I was wrong and you were right. I should try to be warmer," I offer.

"You're just saying this because you need my help."

"No…" I reassure him. When he looks up at me with those ever innocent blue eyes of him I sigh deeply. "Well, maybe _partly_."

He scoffs.

"But I'm still sorry, alright? I never meant to hurt you…"

He looks up and gazes into my eyes intensely and more serious than I've ever seen him. "I never did either."

I'm slightly taken aback by the sincerity in the tone of his voice. Why does he care so much about other people? Why does he care about me? I've been nothing but a bitch to him. He's really too good for this world. "OK," I nod. "Then can we just forget this ever happened?"

He shrugs. "I guess we could…" I think my apology satisfies him on some level but he seems eager to dig deeper. I get the feeling he always needs to see the best in people. When 'the best' is hard to find, he wants to learn to know them to find out what the motivations for their not-so honourable behaviour are.

"Good," I respond. I sigh the heaviness of the conversation away and curl my lips into a wide smile. "Now guess what I'm going to do?"

"Reveal you're really a vengeance demon," he responds dryly.

"Oh, witty…" He looks up and we share a fake smile. "NO," I continue. "You are looking at… Juliet Capulet!"

"I…don't get it."

"What? You don't think we need a plan B after our previous one failed horribly?"

"Huh…I think you'll need to explain me."

"Look, I heard Brooke forced Chris to play in the Romeo and Juliet play. They already picked him to play Romeo but the Juliet auditions aren't until tomorrow afternoon."

"Oh, no. You're not going to audition too, are you?"

"Uh-huh."

He stares at me like a deer in headlights until suddenly, he begins bursts into laughter.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing…Except they'll have to adjust the lines."

"How so?" I pout.

"Okay. For example, you know this part:

What light through yonder window breaks?

It is the East, and Juliet is the sun!

Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon

who is already sick and pale with grief."

"Yes…Off course I do."

"Well, in your case it'd be:

What darkness through yonder window breaks?

It's the North, and Juliet is the moon.

Arise, envious moon, and kill the fair sun

who is already lively and bright with joy."

* * *

I protect my head with my arm as she snatches my book out of my hands and starts to hit my body with it all over. 

"If I'll kill you, this envious moon will be bright enough!"

Quickly I grab her by her waist upon which she immediately lets my book fall and crosses her arms over her stomach. So cute. That Godzilla attitude of her fades in less than seconds just because someone is too close to her tummy. Her eyes widen when I begin to tickle her.

"No, Lucas stop!" she begs. "Stopstopstopstopstop! I'll scream!"

"You can't be seen with me," I remind her. "So that wouldn't be a good idea."

"Oh, God…Don't…Stop…Brooke!"

Off course I let go at once, and she takes that opportunity to pick up my book and give me a final smack on the head. "I won," she sighs relieved. "That was way too easy."

I puff unconvinced.

After a few more deep breaths, she has her normal way of breathing back. "Now before you started mocking me again," she reprises as she shoots me a disapproving look. "I actually still needed to say **you** are going to direct the play."

"But I didn't sign up for it."

"Oh, I know. I just told Mrs. Torrington you desperately want to do it but are too shy to ask. She was so happy her best student wanted to direct the Shakespeare play."

"Unbelievable," I mumble to myself.

"By the way, Lucas, I didn't know you were such a talented writer…"

"Heh…" Why did Mrs. Torrington tell her I write? This doesn't sit too well with me and so I decide to ignore to comment. "You're not to be trusted," I say furrowing my brows. Now I know why she was so defensive about her drawing. Just like I express my emotions through writing, she must do it through her drawings. "Just one thing: how are you so sure you'll get the part?"

"Lucas…I've seen Brooke act. She gave us a little preview at cheer practice and she kind of made Britney Spears look like Meryl Streep. And also, she forbid everyone to audition so Ms. Torrington would've been forced to pick her."

"Oh…But then isn't she going to be pissed at you?"

"Luke, seriously. Do I look like I care?" I have to shake my head to that. She does the same while scrunching her nose in an awful adorable way. "So I become Juliet," she continues "and Brooke can be my maid as you direct so that me and Chris are the most passionate Romeo and Juliet Tree Hill High ever witnessed."

x

"Upstairs!" Peyton cries.

Lucas walks up the stairs and further heads for her bedroom. They are going to run over their plan one last time before leaving to the party, which would have to happen with separate cars. They can't be seen together remember?

With a few knocks on her door, Lucas makes his presence known. "Hi-Heh…" Briefly he's speechless.There Peyton is standing, with an above-knee red corset dress and high black heels.

"Do I look alright?"

_You look amazing_, he thinks but he doesn't say a word.

"Fishing for compliments, much? You know you look smokin'." Lucas yanks his head the bathroom's way, were an all too familiar redhead stands by the door opening. Spraying perfume on herself, Rachel starts walking through Peyton's room. She looks very good herself, in a body-hugging green top and black mini-skirt.

"I didn't know you were going to be here," Lucas says.

"What? You think she'd dress _herself_ like that?" He doesn't know what to answer. "I can't believe I'm helping you," the redhead then addresses Peyton as she plumps herself down on the bed.

Seconds later the blond joins her. "Come on, Rach, it's just to get to Chris."

"Why is Nathan interested in you anyway? You don't even got big boobs!"

"Rachel!" Peyton lets out in disbelief.

"Really…It's like…" She cups her breast with her hand and then goes for Peyton's.

Immediately the blonde slaps her hand away. "You're unbelievable, you know that?"

Rachel laughs. "Just don't sleep with him, alright?"

"If I wanted crabs, I'd go to the fish market, thank you very much."

"Alright then," she says, satisfied with Peyton's answer. Further she crawls off the bed and adjusts her skirt. "I'm off, I'll let you guys talk cosily about ruining other people's lives."

"See ya, Rach!"

"Bye, bye."

As Peyton hears the redhead descend her stairs she shakes her head and laughs.

* * *

"You're gonna let him kiss you?" I ask. Peyton looks amazing, gorgeous, stunning…You name an adjective that describes attractiveness and it applies to her. However, I had rather if she had not worn this. She looks like a vamp, simple like that, and Nathan's parties are notorious for their excessive use of alcohol. I don't want her to wind up in someone's bed, willingly or not. 

"Uhmm…You know I hope it doesn't come that far."

"But you would? Let him kiss you?"

She sighs deeply. "Yes," she then admits. "I would. But that's all I'd do!"

"Oh, good to know," I reply mockingly.

"Look…I know it's not very honourable-"

"You think?"

"But a kiss is just a kiss."

"And sex?"

"Sex is different. I wouldn't do that!"

I look at her disapproving.

"What?" she snaps. "You think I am a slut?"

I hold my tongue.

"I can't believe this! You're- You're so _judgemental_!" She places her hand on her forehead and turns her back at me, clearly hurt. "Not that it's any of your business," she continues. "But Chris is the only guy I ever had sex with…. And from what I heard, that can't be said for your 'pretty girl' so I suggest you back off me."

I approach her from behind with slow steps. She feels it and turns around, but her eyes remain focused on the floor. Carefully I place my hands on her arms. "I don't think you're a slut," I reassure her. "I just don't think you know who you're dealing with. The guys who come to Nathan's parties just want one thing: sex and they'd go to extreme lengths to get it. I…don't want to see you get hurt, not in any way."

She looks up at me and sighs. "You want to know what I think about you?" She scans my face. "I think you're the sweetest boy who has ever walked this earth and that the guys who call themselves 'popular' aren't fit to wipe your shoes." _Is Peyton giving a compliment?_ I'd tease her but I don't want to ruin the moment. I finally feel like I see a hint of who she really is. She sounds so genuine right now. "But, like I told you," she continues. "I'm big enough to take care of myself. So _please_ let me."

"Alright," I give in. "But I'll be keeping an eye on you."

"Right back at ya."

She shoots me a smile. "You're too stressed."

"I guess I am," I sigh. "Oh by the way, did you get the Juliet part?"

"Luke…Off course I did."

x

"So Nate, who's it gonna be tonight?"

Faintly smirking he looks down at Brooke. "Your newest cheerleader."

"Ugh…" She rolls her eyes. "What's so amazing about her? It's bad enough she stole my part without every guy chasing her."

"Don't be so jealous, Brookie Cookie. You're happy with Chris, aren't you?"

"Yeah, well doesn't matter. _I_'m supposed to be the object of everyone's want and attention, not her." A deep sigh leaves her lips. "Whatever, it won't last long."

"What do you mean?"

"Guys want her because she's hot, right? But she's not exactly a girl who radiates 'take me, I want it', now is she?"

"Well we can't all be like you, Brooke," he points out upon which he receives a murdering look.

Suddenly Chris pops up behind Nathan and puts his ear to the youngest Scott's head. "What the hell are you doing?" he grumbles.

"Shhh…I've been told if I stand close enough to you, I can hear the ocean."

While Brooke bursts into laughter, Nathan is less than amused. "Who do you think I am? Some kind of fool?" he instantly yells.

"Not me," Chris reassures. "But what is my opinion against hundreds of others?"

Nathan slams his glass on the table, grabs Chris by his shirt and then pushes him hard against the wall with a dazzling speed. Brooke's laughter dies out and transforms into a panicky scream. "Let him go!"

With the intention of telling Brooke he'd rather be burned alive than to do just that, he yanks his head her way. However, his words stagger in his throat, his force weakens, as he sees what would be his conquest of the night walking through the crowd.

Chris follows his stare and has a hard time to keep his mouth closed. He knew she was going to be here since Brooke had mentioned it, but he hadn't expected her to look this good. His attention is pointed back on Nathan when that one loosens his grip and walked over to his ex. He almost doesn't dare to admit it, but seeing all these guys drooling over her makes him feel like one giant moron. He had that once. Even harder this situation will become when he'll be forced to act together with her in the school play. If only he hadn't let Brooke forced him; being Romeo was _so_ not his part. Unfortunately you can't hide talent.

Brooke runs to Chris and wraps her arms around him. "Are you OK, babe? God, he's so…primitive! One minute he's beating you up, the next he wants to hump _her._"

"What?" he lets out taken aback. "He's going to hump her?"

"No, he _wants_ to. I don't know if he will."

Chris sighs relieved.

"What's it to you?" Brooke asks suspiciously.

He looks up at her unable to say a word. Not that he really wants too. He can't possibly say Peyton is his ex who followed him to Tree Hill and who he thought he was over. _Thought_, 'cause that isn't something he's too certain of anymore. He doesn't want Peyton to hump Nathan, for God's sakes. He knows her principles, and she can't let some Neanderthal damage them. Slowly he stands up and walks over to Nathan and Peyton, with Brooke behind him.

"Hi," the blond greets smiling.

"Hey," Brooke replies. "I love your dress."

"Thanks."

"Where did you get it?"

"Huh, I got this thing for so long, I forgot."

Peyton suppresses the urge to roll her eyes when Nathan's hand slides across her lower back and finally goes to rest on her hips. Firmly she orders herself to concentrate on Chris, who seems to be very frustrated. _Ah, good ol' jealousy_, she thinks, and decides his reaction is definitely worth this groping.

* * *

Peyton is indeed taking good care of herself, I notice. She lets Nathan touch her, but not too much and has managed to stay with Chris and Brooke, who both turn more jealous with the second: Chris of Nathan and Brooke of Peyton. People can say whatever they want about Brooke, but not that she doesn't have an eye for tension related to love. She notices a spark between Chris and Peyton and feels threatened. It's like when she slapped Rachel last year because she showed an interest in me. 

Another twenty minutes later, Brooke storms off with a deep sigh and Chris immediately follows her. Unfortunately for him it's quickly clear he does it in vain as Brooke orders him to stay the hell away from her. And so he does, but instead of going back to Peyton and Nathan, he chooses to go sit with 'the musicians'. It's a somewhat outcast group at school, but they know how to write and play songs.

Still I see he's shooting Peyton and Nathan envious looks. This is going better than I had thought. Gathering my courage, I step outside and see Brooke leaning against her car. "Hey."

She looks up ay me. "Hi, Luke." God, she looks great. She always does but tonight's it's out of this world. That golden dress makes her sparkle even more than she already does naturally. "What are you doing here?"

"I saw you and Chris had a fight and I figured you might use some company."

She nods sadly. "Thanks. You're sweet."

"Uhm…Maybe we could go back inside? It's cold and you hardly have any clothes on. I don't want you to get sick."

She chuckles in disbelief. "Why are you so good to me Luke? I treated you so badly."

I wish she hadn't said this, it makes me feel guilty. I'm the one who caused this fight, who caused her pain. "I'm not **that** good," I respond. "I just want to be there for you. Come with me?"

She smiles at me softly as we start walking back inside. Since I know where Chris has settled himself, I take her nearby the kitchen, far away from him. Or at least, as far away as you can be from each other in the same house. We settle on a couple of chairs and talk a bit about what's been up the last couple of months. However, although I'm still in love with her, I'm not hanging by every word she says. I wonder how Peyton's doing, alone with Nathan. I wonder if she's kissing him. I hope she isn't.

"Penny for your thoughts," she smiles.

I bow my head before shaking it. "I'm just a bit tired. Sorry."

"That's alright. I'm a bit tired myself. You know, I can't believe Chris. Drooling over that girl. And Nathan. What does she have that _I_ don't have?"

"Nothing."

"I know, right? And she's always so moody. Like a bear with a sore head."

"Huh…Maybe she's just scared."

"Of what?"

"Of letting people in for example."

"How so? Do you know her?"

"N-No…It's just an impression."

"B-"

Our conversation is brutally interrupted by 'the Tim' who jumps between us panicky.

"What is it now, Tim?" Brooke asks monotone.

"That Peyton girl. She's nowhere to be found and Nathan is pissed."

"What?"

"Yeah, she said she was getting a drink. That was half an hour ago. Nathan told me to go look for her but I can't find her and I was wondering if you saw her. PLEASE say yes."

I stand up at once. "Lucas…" Brooke calls after me.

I wish I could stay with her but there are more important things now. I have to find her as soon as possible. Damn it! I told her so. I told her to be careful and I knew that outfit, at a party like this was bad news. Worst thing is, I can suspect every guy in here of having done something or wanting to do something to and with her. I race up the stairs and go through the hall, opening every chamber door as I do so.

Nathan has seen me and follows me upstairs. "What are you doing here, bastard?" he yells. For the first time in my life, that comment doesn't hurt me; not one little bit.

Once again I swing a door open, at the end of the hall and there she is, drugged with some pervert hanging above her. Something takes a hold of me, fury driven by adrenaline and I pull him off her like he's puppet. He's powerless as I lay him on the floor and just start hitting his face; over and over and over until my hands turn red. It's like I'm in some sort of trance. I see the guy's blood spilling from his face and the desperation on it but I couldn't care less.

I'm only awakened from it because of some girl's high-pitched screams. They cut into me like knifes. I look up and see Nathan approaching Peyton. I couldn't stand up faster. "Stay away from her," I growl. That jerk probably wanted to be in that guy's place, on top of her. I'll be damned if he acts the hero now.

"This is my h-"

"I SAID STAY AWAY FROM HER!"

Then he backs off, obviously in deep shock about my behaviour. I go sit on the rim of the bed and see to my great relief nothing had happened yet. Softly I move her curls out of her face and sigh pained when she lets out a noise. How could I have let this happen? I said I would keep an eye on her...

* * *

Everyone has gathered by the door opening when Chris barges through with the intention of carrying her away from there. It had only been a second; a _second_ that his attention had shifted from Nathan and Peyton to a guitar, and then this happens. When he sees that she's already been taking care of by Lucas, he's mostly relieved yet also confused and a bit jealous. It isn't easy to see another guy look at her with so much care. 

He loves Brooke, he really does but Peyton was his first love. Breaking up with her was the hardest thing he had ever done in his life, although it hadn't seemed that way. When he dumped her, he had thought he would never see her again and that it'd be better for both of them to go their own ways now instead of later, when it'd be all the more hard. Brooke _was_ and _is_ someone who immediately brightens up his day and that's also exactly what she did when he was lovesick so he began a relationship with her. He still wants to be with her with all his heart, but man, seeing Peyton and not being able to touch her is pure torture. This situation is just very confusing to him.

"Chris?" He looks over his shoulder slowly and sees Brooke with a non-understanding expression on her face. "Oh God," she then sighs out seeing the beaten up guy on the floor. As to protect herself from the sight she dives in the arms of her boyfriend, who pushes her closer against his chest. "Did Lucas do this to him?"

"That guy…He tried to _rape_ her…"

In the meanwhile Lucas has picked Peyton's dulled body off the mattress and laid one of her arms over his shoulder so that it's easier to carry her. He sees people are confused because _he_'s the one doing this. After all, she's a beautiful cheerleader and while he's handsome, he just a somewhat nerdy outsider. How would these to know each other, they must wonder? However, he couldn't care less. All he cares about now is getting her home and make sure nothing bad happens to her anymore. He wouldn't forgive himself. In his way out, Chris stares at him with a mix of confusion and thankfulness. Lucas bats his eyes down, not wanting to look at him, and then finally takes her out of the house.

x

Oh God my head. Torture! I push my sheets away and notice a bottle of water, plus glass on my cupboard. I didn't do that. And why am I still in my dress? I always change in my pyjamas, even if I just came home from a party. That reminds me…The party…. The last thing I remember is that I told Nathan I was getting a drink. Everything after that is just a total blank. Rubbing my aching forehead, I walk out of my room, on a quest to find out what happened.

Huh? I cock my ears noticing a bubbling sound. Is someone making coffee? Suspiciously I walk through the hall and have quite a scare when suddenly a tall figure pops up in front of me with two cups of coffee. I place my hand on my chest and let out a deep sigh. Lucas? What is he doing here?

Uncomfortable and even somewhat shaky, he lets out a 'good morning'. He sticks a cup out telling me to go back in my room.

"Good morning," I greet him back. "Uhm…What happened yesterday?" I then ask as I plump down on my bed again. "I don't usually wake up with an elephant dancing on my head and a boy in my house."

Lucas joins me and hands me a cup of coffee. "Yesterday…" he hesitantly begins. "…what I warned you about..."

"What?"

"There was a guy," I get to the point. "Peyton…He probably slipped something in your drink 'cause when they found, he was hanging above you, touching you…And I didn't exactly get the impression you were conscious."

* * *

Her eyes widen before she bows her head in disbelief. "Oh, God…" I get the feeling she feels shocked, ashamed and stupid all in one, which is understandable. 

"But nothing happened. He got what was coming to him before even he had the chance to _do_ something."

Suddenly her brows shift into a frown. "Wh-" Then she gazes up at me, putting two and two together. Obviously I wouldn't be here hadn't I taken care of her. It wasn't too hard carrying her upstairs, she's light. After I had put her under her sheets and made sure she'd have something to drink if she were to wake up in the middle of the night, I took a blanket and slept in her couch.

"And you…"

"I…He won't do it again."

Her eyes shift to my fist, which is completely swollen. She reaches out and touches it upon which I hiss painfully. "Luke… You shouldn't have done that. Who knows you're gonna get in trouble for this?"

"Peyton, you don't know how it was."

She chuckles coldly and puts her cup on the cupboard next to her.

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean it that way." She shakes her head, indicating it's alright. "He was just such a creep and … And I know we don't know each other that long, but I do care about you and I just flipped. I mean, there was **blood** _all over_ and I didn't even care, I…"

* * *

"It's OK…Djeezes…" I sigh. "I'm like, _made_ for bad luck." 

He puts his cup of coffee next to mine and places his good hand on my shoulder. "It's my fault. I told you I was going to look out for you and I…"

"Oh, no…If you hadn't been there, that guy…He would've raped me. If it's anyone's fault it's mine. You warned me but I didn't listen. I'm just…I'm such a mess Luke."

It's the truest thing I've said in ages. I just feel so very lost and have no idea what to do about it. I feel my eyes glaze over but order myself not to let any tears escape. Suddenly Lucas puts his arm around me and pulls me into a comforting hug. I lift me legs up so that they're on the bed and crawl even closer him. His chest and stomach are indeed very hard. I'm glad I found out without asking if I could poke them. Almost immediately after I put my head on his chest, I feel his fingers run through my curls but I'm not bothered by it as I often am when someone touches my hair. It actually calms me right now.

"If it's any consolation…Chris still loves the mess," he then mentions.

A short silence rushes in. "Really?" I ask. I can't help it. Even after what happened, I'm still not planning to give up on him.

"I saw it in his eyes, when I carried you out."

"He saw that?"

He shortly bites his bottom lip. "Pretty much everyone did."

"Oh, _great_."

"Don't worry; I'll tell taking care of random drugged out girls is like a hobby to me."

"That's alright, you don't have to," I respond. "But thanks, anyway."

"You're welcome."

* * *

At the door, eaves-dropping expert Rachel not only listens to their conversation, but also notices how they seem quite comfortable sitting there together, on her bed. "Am I interrupting something?" Peyton looks up and immediately shuffles away from Lucas, who pulls his fingers back from her curls. 

"No, ummm…Actually I was just leaving," Lucas says nervously and jumps off the bed. "My mom must be worried sick."

"Is she going to be very angry?" Peyton asks with guilt in her voice.

"I'll explain. She'll understand."

"OK…"

Just as he's about to exit the room, she calls his name.

"Yes?"

"Thank you."

He nods softly smiling and then disappears. Peyton sighs somewhat relieved. Yes, she was happy he was here but maybe she was letting him get too close, not physically but emotionally. Not since Chris has she sat in someone's arms with tears in her eyes and it bothers her slightly. People who make you open up are seldom good news. That sounds weird, but that's just how it is to her. Every person she let her guard down with winded up disappointing her, like her father.

The place where Lucas sat is quickly taken by Rachel. "Are you alright?" the redhead asks.

"Yeah, I am," Peyton reassures her. "Because of Lucas."

"He's a pretty good guy, isn't he?"

From her faint smirk, Peyton knows Rachel doesn't only mean he's a good guy, but that he's a guy she likes in a more than friendly way, which is _definitely_ not the case. "He is, and I'm sure he'll be a great director too," she changes the subject.

"Huh?" Rachel lets out confused.

"For Romeo and Juliet."

"You're still going to go through with it? Do you think it's wise? This scheming almost got you raped, for God's sakes."

"Off course. Just no more Nathanesque parties."

"Like I would still let you go, _tease_."

"Rachel!"

"Too soon?"

"Too soon."

* * *

So yeah, a bit of drama after all LOL. I can't help it, I'm afraid. 

Anyway, tell me what you think!


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** Thanks for the reviews, people. SO appreciated.

* * *

Chapter 4

"Is everyone ready? Alright."

The two separate circles we sat in are joined in one as we commence our oral exercise. It's a debate concerning whether gay marriage should be allow in North-Carolina or not; and if they further should be allowed to have children. Me, Lucas and a couple of other students have chosen to got sit in the pro-group while among others Nathan and Tim –strange, I know- immediately ran to the contra one. For a while all of us just sit staring at each other, none of us daring to open their mouth first.

"People…" Mr. Robins addresses us with a slightly annoyed tone. This class is always bursting with energy, just at the wrong times. "No talking, no grades. And by no grades I mean F."

"Djeez," Rachel then sighs. "I'll break the ice. Uhm…Well, I think everyone is free to be who they want, to do what they want and to choose whoever they want to be with. And if that person happens to be of the same sex, so be it."

"Alright, Ms. Gattina. But what about children?"

"They should be allowed to have them."

In the opposite group Lyla shakes her head.

"You don't agree with her, Lyla?" Mr. Robins asks.

"No, I don't. Marriage, yes, maybe although I don't really accept that either; it's against nature. But children? That's certainly not the way it's supposed to be. Biological factors aside…It's just unfair towards the child. How will it feel having two mothers or two fathers? A child needs a mother and a father to be happy. I…well; it has to have the chance to choose between a man and a woman to discuss its problems with in my opinion. It's just… _unusual_ and even if he or she gets used to it, there's still the environment that will treat it like some kind of freak. It isn't right to confront a child with that."

"So you think it'll traumatize the child?"

"Yes."

"Alright. Anyone cares to respond?"

"Children don't have to have gay parents to be traumatized," Vicky points out. "And by the way, why couldn't gay people be just as good at parenting as a 'normal' pair? Are conventional families always better? There are loads of families with only one parent or occasionally with gay parents, and it hasn't been proven the children there are unhappier than children out of traditional families."

"That's bullshit," Nathan speaks up.

"What?"

"Off course they are happier! How can you be as happy in a one parent family as in a traditional one? How can you be happy when one of your parents has abandoned you? Because he didn't' want you? No no…You're speaking nonsense."

"I didn't specifically mean children abandoned, just with one parent."

"Doesn't matter. Traditional is better." He bows his head and then mumbles almost without sound: "Look at me and Lucas."

"What?" I ask agitated.

"Mr. Scott, please don't get pers-"

"I said look at me and Lucas. Look at where he stands and where I stand. I'm sociable. You…" he now addresses his brother "are nothing. An outsider who's not accepted by anyone except for that girl with the ugly ass poncho. I mean, you are the perfect example of how there's something off with children out of non-conventional families."

My jaw drops. Who does this guy think he is? What gives him the right to tear someone down like this? "I don't know, _Nate_," I butt in. "From where I'm standing Lucas is the lucky one."

"Peyt…" Lucas touches my arm. "He isn't worth it."

"Leave me…" I whisper to him and then turn back to Nathan. "OK, you're _popular._ But… that's pretty much all you got going for you, no?"

"-"

"Ah, yeah, basketball…But that doesn't count. He plays it too, remember? And whether you like it or not, just as good as you, if not better."

"Ms. Saw-"

"Not only that but he's smart, generous, caring, giving and kind. I'd actually say he outstrips in every single area of life…Oh, no wait!" I raise one finger and widen my eyes. "I forgot you're higher on the food chain, and _that_ is the most important thing in life, especially for someone with your…_intelligence_."

Nathan chuckles. "Are you doing him or something?"

The teacher now joins the students in their utter amazements, completely speechless. I shuffle forward on my chair until I'm sitting on the tip. I gaze at Nathan with my eyes in splits and with an intense yet calm anger. "You… are _disgusting_," I then say in an almost whispering tone. "And if your…breadwinner should be ashamed of someone, it should be of you, not him, 'cause he's ten-no, a _hundred_ times the person you are."

Now also Nathan is lost for words and simply gazes at me as if I'm from Mars. I settle myself comfortably on my chair again. "Anyway…" I then say in a lighter tone. "About gay marriage, I agree with Vicky. Gays can marry, gays can have kids."

x

After class, I follow Peyton as she speed-walks through the hall. I might not entirely approve of what she did but she did touch me by defending me. "Peyt, wait up!" She stops and stands still for a second before she turns around with a big sigh. I step over to her. "So…" I begin. "What was that all about?"

"I don't know…" She shakes her curls. "He just makes me so damn angry with that skin-crawling superiority act of his."

"You know that wasn't good for your food chain position," I reply with a smile.

She shrugs her shoulders. "Well…"

"Thank you."

"What?" she asks surprised.

"Thank you. What you did for me in class…No one has ever done that for me before. Well Haley did try a couple of times but I always manage to stop her and unlike you, she actually listens to me. At least sometimes. But anyway, I want you to know I did appreciate it."

She looks at me in silence for a moment. "You're welcome," she then says. We share a soft smile and then walk further through the hall.

"So what are you doing tonight?"

"Ho, there! I think I've given you the wrong idea," she jokes.

"Not like that…" I say as I slightly roll my eyes. "You know Hales and I have a movie night every Friday?"

"No I didn't, but that's very Dawson's Creek."

"Yeah, well, seeing she's sick and you're a since-last-week-party-phobic loner, I thought maybe you could come over with me or the other way around to watch some movies."

"That sounds like something friends would do."

"I know."

"I never said we were friends."

"You didn't have to."

She bows her head and frowns. It's strange how the merest emotional approach can make her crawl in her shell. I still wonder what's going with her parents, by the way. In particular her mother. Every time ask about her she gives me a look that puts lightning to shame. "Peyt…If you don't want to that's fine," I reassure her. "I don't' want to force you into anything; I just thought it could be fun."

"It's OK. I'm just being silly," she nervously laughs. "Off course we can watch some movies. At my place though maybe? I don't feel very comfortable around strangers. I mean, I don't easily make contact with…Just difficult."

"My mom is-" I see her concerned eyes and nod. "Alright, at your place."

x

We're watching one of the films I brought along- A Clockwork Orange- she with big disbelieving eyes and I just with interest. I've seen it a couple times before. At a certain moment I notice her eyes shift slowly from the screen to me, looking at me in an estimating way. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she quickly answers. "I just thought…"

"Oh, no, are we back to this?" I ask slightly annoyed. "I already told you I'm not a saint. Not that the film proves I'm not, it's just a film."

"Yeah, I know but it's…It's repulsive," she lets out in appalled tone. "I can't believe you can appreciate something like this."

"Are you kidding me? It's a masterpiece! I'm actually surprised you guys haven't read the book already."

"I'm not. It's sick and twisted! YOU are sick and twisted! ANYONE who likes this film is sick and twisted. And not the cool kind of sick and twisted but just…blergh." She scrunches her nose to express her disgust and pulls the corners of her mouth down.

"The film doesn't approve of violence, Peyt."

"But it _shows_ it…And _rape_."

I bite my bottom lip. When I chose to bring this film I hadn't really though about what happened last week with that creepy guy. "Do you feel uncomfortable with it? Should I shut it off? It isn't all like this; he'll go to prison soon."

"No…It's alright," she sighs. "I'll sit it through…If it's supposed to be a masterpiece."

I nod. "It's just about the deterring of society, really. In the book it's even worse."

"OK," she sighs. "But what's up with the strange words?"

"Actually those are mostly Russian adapted to English. Like 'rasoodocks' in Russian is 'minds'."

"Hm. Droogs?"

"Friends. Couldn't you get that out of the context?"

She turns her head at me and slaps my arm. "You should be happy I'm willing to watch this with you in the first place. Do you know how many girls would think you're a total nut and kick you out of their house if you'd show this to them? It's a bigger turn-off then white socks, and trust me, girls loathe those."

"Well Haley didn't kick me out but she did turn it off."

"Heh…I can't believe this! What made you think I'd like this if your best friend, who's probably _very much_ influenced by your opinion, didn't?"

"She's normal. You're twisted too."

"Well thank you."

"Don't mention it, _droog_."

She raises an eyebrow. "And uhm…What did Brooke say?"

"When?"

"When you showed her this?"

"Are you crazy? I didn't watch this with her!"

"Why not? Worried her perception of you would've changed?"

"No…It's just not her kind of film."

"Oh…"

"What? 'Oh'?"

"Nothing, just ….I mean… It sounds like you couldn't be yourself around her, yet you say she accepted you like you were. But if you can't even show her what kind of films you love, I don't know, I just doubt if she really accepted you for who you were. Overall Brooke seems more like a girl who tries to change to boy she's with."

"Well, you're wrong. She isn't like that. She's sweet, and kind-hearted, and-"

"Possessive?"

"Peyton!"

"What?" she asks innocently.

"Do you think I like Chris?"

She gives me doe eyes and then shakes her head.

"That's right," I continue. "I don't like him. At all. I think he's an arrogant jackass with an ego the size of the sun but do I ever…point that out? No! Because I know you love him, though I don't understand why and think you deserve hundred times better than him. Yet I do keep my mouth shut about him and I want you to do that with Brooke too, alright?"

"Right back at ya. Except replace 'jackass' with 'bitch' and 'him' with 'her'."

I let out a deep sigh. She obviously gets the point but she isn't going to change her ways, is she?

"I love Brooke."

"And I love Chris. But we established this already so if this is the part were we go back and repeat ourselves, warn me that I can fake my interest."

I feel myself gazing at her in disbelief. Never in my life have I come across a girl this bold. "You are…unbelievable."

"Thank you."

I shake my head but am not able to suppress a smile. "OK then…Anyway, what film are we watching after this?"

"I haven't made my rasoodock up yet. If I know I'll get back to you. Now just watch the film, Luke and stop talking through it. It's a freaking masterpiece!"

x

"If I profane with my unworthiest hand this holy

shrine, the gentle sin is this: My lips, two blushing

pilgrims, ready stand to smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss."

Backstage, Brooke enviously peers at her boyfriend saying the most romantic lines ever written to a girl that isn't her. She should've been Juliet, not that skinny blond bitch. How can Juliet, a girl from Verona –a city in Italy- be blond anyway? That's a big mistake, isn't it? She's so badly cast it isn't even funny.

"Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much, which mannerly devotion shows in this; For saints have hands that pilgrims' hands do touch, And palm to palm is holy palmers' kiss."

"Have not saints lips, and holy palmers too?"

"Ay, pilgrim, lips that they must use in prayer."

"Well, then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do; They pray, grant thou, lest faith turn to despair."

"Saints do not move, though grant for prayers' sake."

Lucas in the meanwhile was dividing his attention between Brooke and the scene.

"Then move not, while my prayer's effect I take." Chris hesitantly bows over but nonetheless with the intention of kissing her.

"Stop!" Brooke squeaks and runs onstage. "They don't have to kiss, do they Ms. Torrington? It's only rehearsals."

"Brooke ," Ms. Torrington sighs. "You know what the thing is about a play? It's fake. So if Mr. Keller feels the same way about you as you do about him there's absolutely nothing to worry about. Could you retake your position, please?"

"B,b-"

"_Now_."

Brooke saunters back to her spot with a pout.

"Reprise!"

"Saints do not move, though grant for prayers' sake," Peyton repeated.

"Then move not, while my prayer's effect I take." So he bows over for a second time and kisses her like it says in the script. Tender. But he has missed her, her touch, her smell and just the essence of who she is so he can't help but slightly deepen the kiss. It feels nice to feel her move lips against his again, after such a long time and so when she also lays more passion in it, he lets her. A feeling of relief comes over Peyton sensing he's into the kiss just as much as she is. All this is scheming isn't in vain.

"STOP IT!" a voice -not Brooke's- then yells. They tear apart and look at an angered Lucas. Peyton kinks her eyebrow at him while sending him silent curses. "Romeo and Juliet were fourteen," he cries. "And virgins! Do you think virgins kiss like hookers and gigolos?!" Everyone gazed at him as if he had grown a second head. "Let me tell you, they don't," he continues. "You two are making Shakespeare turn around in his grave!"

"That's right!" Brooke stands by him.

"If I see one more kiss _that_ offensive in a play by the BEST writer to ever walk this earth, you two WILL be replaced." Lucas gazes at the two of them intensely. "I think Ms. Torrington agrees with me?"

"Huh…yes," the woman replies. She didn't think the kiss was that bad but if a teenager thought it was, it must be. They're used to more than she is so if he's says it's wrong, it is. She doesn't want to be known as the teacher who lets her students bring Shakespeare to shame. Then she throws a cursory look at the clock in the back of the room. "But we'll discuss this matter tomorrow. Time's up for today."

Chris walks off stage and doesn't dare to look at Brooke as he passes her. Quickly Peyton follows and shoots Lucas the dirtiest look in her might. With a big sigh he bows his head; throwing the same curses at himself Peyton did earlier. He just couldn't let her make out with that lowlife, it bugged him. It also makes him wonder if he should continue helping her. The last thing he wants is for her to fall back in the asshole's arms again. When he looks to his side, he notices Brooke's eyes resting on him.

"Thanks, Luke," she smiles. "You're the best…" Her hand rises up and she briefly touches his hair before pulling back. "Do you…think he likes her? 'Cause I think he does," she continues sadly.

"I don't know Brooke."

She bites her bottom lip and softly shakes her head. "Sometimes I wonder if I made the wrong choice…breaking up with you. You always made me feel so safe and loved…and Chris…I know he loves me but he's so difficult…" Suddenly a real smile curls her lips. "Like you remember when we used to watch movies? You liked all the same ones I did, Titanic, A Lot like Love, you know romantic films."

Lucas thinks back about Peyton's words, where she basically said Brooke molds her guys until they agree with her every word. But he didn't really mind that about the brunette, because he loved her, and still does.

"And Chris doesn't," she continues. "For something that simple we argue. You…" Again she lets her hand float to his face but now rests it on his cheek. "You're so different." Lucas almost holds his breath as her head nears his. And then she kisses him. Softly. Strangely enough, it isn't quite what he had expected it to be. Sure, it's a good kiss but it doesn't make him tingly all over like before. It's not that he doesn't love her anymore; it's just that he maybe loves her _less_. Maybe, but he doesn't want to think about this possibility. If he was getting over her, it'd make all the planning he had done with Peyton in vain. Suddenly they hear the door slam and Lucas catches a glimpse of a head of blond curls. He pulls away at once and raises his eyes to the ceiling. _Damn it_. Without thinking, he starts chasing her through the halls and eventually outside.

* * *

"Peyt, wait up!"

"Don't 'Peyt' me!" I cry and turn around furiously. "You have some nerve! First you interrupt me kissing with Chris and then I find you tonguing _her_ minutes after. Why can you and not I, huh? Why the hell are you being so _selfish_?"

"How so, selfish? I-"

I groan in frustration. "You know, a rat's a better 'droog' than you, traitor! You _knew_ she was going to like it if you'd break us apart, and that's why you did it. You didn't care about what I wanted; it was all about _her_, and all about _you_. I should've known you wouldn't be very useful; I should've followed my instinct," I rant.

"I-"

"STOP! I'm not interested in the silly excuse you'll certainly have. I just want you to stay away from me from now on OK? Do you think you can do that?" He gazes at me like a puppy that's just been kicked in the ass. "Okay, thanks," I then coldly finish. Without another word, I turn around and walk away from him. _Jerk_.

x

The next day I wait by her locker to apologize. I know I screwed up but I just had to make that unpleasant feeling I got during rehearsals go away and shouting at Chris and Peyton to stop seemed like the perfect way to vent…At least for a couple of seconds. For the record, Brooke and Chris are a few rows further already sucking each other's face again. _Ugh_. It's like yesterday never happened. Like our kiss never happened. I don't understand how making up is so easy with them. I and Brooke didn't fight a lot but we did, once, and it lasted ten days. When I see Peyton walking to her locker, hence to me, I go stand up a bit straighter.

"Hi," I greet as she reaches for her lock. She doesn't answer but just takes her books out. "P-Peyt…" She tenses up as I call her by her nickname. "Peyton. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to shout like that, it's just what I said Friday…You deserve better."

"One. That isn't up to you to decide; and two, I thought I had made myself perfectly clear yesterday. I don't want to have anything to do with you anymore."

She slams her locker shut and marches to class. Unfortunately that's my class too. She enters first and not much later I also take a seat yet I don't dare to take one close to her. It wouldn't be very pleasant to get murdering looks all hour.

The teacher patiently waits until the murmur dies out and then speaks up. "Everybody, I've got some awful news some of you might've already heard about. About a week ago… Lauren Cox died."

Everyone bows their head. Lauren was a girl who sat with us in class last year before she was diagnosed with leukemia in the last stage. Everyone knew she was going to die but to actually hear it now was an absolute shock.

"As you all know," Ms. Smith continues emotionally. "She was very found of poetry, and that is why I'll be reading one of her favorite authors." She takes a deep breath and begins. "We Who Shall Meet Again by Christina Rossetti."

The class respectfully keeps their mouths shut the whole time, listening to the less than hope giving words. In the class several people had tears in their eyes as the last words echoed through the room.

"Oh weep or laugh, but let me be,

And live or die, for all's in vain;

For life's in vain since we must part,

And parting must not meet again.

Till windflowers blossom on the sea

And fishes skim along the plain;

Pale rose of roses, let me be,-

Your breaking heart breaks mine again."

Then we keep a minute of silence. When it was over, Ms. Smith takes her book and opens it. "Now all take page-"

Suddenly Peyton rises from her chair and stormed out off the class, tears rolling over her cheek.

"Peyton?" Ms. Smith questioned.

I also stand up but am firmly ordered to go sit back in my seat. I do, but reluctantly. Instead of me, Ms. Smith follows her outside. "Peyton, stop!" she cries. People who are too curious for their own good stretch their necks the door's way. When Ms. Smith notices it, she closes it with a warning look.

* * *

Could I be more ridiculous? It's not that I burst into tears at every poem about death but…Today just happened to be the 'anniversary' of my mother's death. The words in the poem just _cut_ through my soul. It was the most horrible thing I have experienced since exactly one year ago.

"Are you alright, sweetheart?" Ms. Smith asks caring. She's one of the most awesome teachers I've ever met in my life. Such a good heart.

"It's just…My mom…She died today, well…seven years ago." I feel she deserves an explanation seeing she's a person who's genuinely interested in her students. Again I have to breathe deeply in order to suppress my tears.

A silence falls between us. Then she shakes her head apologizing. "I had no idea, Peyton and I'm so, so sorry for a reading a poem like that."

I nod with a sad smile.

"Take all the time you want to calm a little and then come back, OK?"

"OK. Thank you," I respond appreciative.

"No problem at all."

x

During lunch Lucas takes another chance and goes to sit with me. Instead of merely looking at him I pick up my plate and simply go to sit at another table. He doesn't get it, does he? He doesn't understand what he got. Sure, he mightn't have a model family but he's told me about his mother and uncle who love him more than anything. I don't have that. My father? Always gone. When mom died, I expected him to give me the love and attention I lost together with her, but he didn't. I only found that again with Chris; he's the only person who cares about me. And Lucas selfishly didn't allow me to have him.

He doesn't give up and just joins me again. "Peyt, please," he tries. "Let me know what's going on inside your head…"

"Why?"

"Well, I want to help you…I care about you."

"No. The only one you care about is yourself and your 'pretty girl'. So don't tell me lies. I _hate _liars."

"I'm sorry if you feel I betrayed you, it was like… a _reflex_ to yell. I hate to see you with someone who is beneath you. Anyway, you know how I feel about him but… I know now I nonetheless shouldn't' have interfered."

"You're lying!"

"No I'm not!"

"What-ever. It's too little too late," I reply. "Now I'm going to change tables once more and unless you want to see me even more pissed off then I am now, I suggest you stay here."

x

I sit in my couch flipping through channels, all by myself and quite bummed. My mother just left on a cooking course in Italy and so I'm home alone with my thought. At least I thought I was 'because suddenly Haley plumps herself down next to me.

"What's up, doc?"

"Not much," I shrug and in the same monotone tone ask: "You're better?"

"Much…" She turns her head to the television. "What are we watching? Whales?"

"Yeah, whatever, I don't know," I respond uninterested.

She deeply sighs. "Alright, what's wrong?"

"N-"

"The truth please."

"I just have a fight with a girl," I confess.

"Brooke?"

"No, why'd you think that?"

"Because the only girl you basically ever made enough contact with, besides me, to fight with, is Brooke."

"Well, it isn't her," I bite back. "It's someone else, and I hurt her feelings. But she isn't like normal girls. W-"

"What?"

"When we fight, what do you do?"

"I yell at you…Or when it's my fault I go home and eat some chocolate to ease my guilt."

"She doesn't…She treats me like I caught the plague; she doesn't want anything to do with her anymore and I hate that… We were just starting to grow, you know, close. Friends, like real friends."

"Is it that Peyton girl?"

"Huh? What? How do you know?"

"I heard some rumors at the start of this week about you and her at Nathan's party, which I by the way still don't understand you went to but then again, I guess that has something to do with her too. And then I just kept an eye on the two of you and you exchange these secretive stares all the time which was more proof of you guys hanging out, yet not in public which I –yet again- don't understand. I waited for some explanation from you but I think I could wait forever. Want to tell me what's going on now? It's kind of the perfect time."

"Hales…I'd rather not."

"Are you guys together?" she nonetheless tries to get something out of me.

"No…No! It's nothing like that."

"But she influences you so badly."

"She just special, alright? It was, is, nice to have her in my life. We were becoming friends," I pout.

"Oh…Well Luke, why don't you go over to see her?"

"What?"

"Your mother is in Italy and Keith will only come in the morning. Go see her and solve things because I hate to see you miserable like this…I love you, dude."

I reflect a couple of seconds and then nod. What's the worst thing that could happen? She can't keep ignoring me and/or pushing me away. "You're right." I jump off and run towards to door determined. When I reach it, I briefly look over my shoulder. "And Hales? I love you too."

"Well_duh_."

x

I find her in her room in her short-with-tank top pajamas with a box of Cleenex and a half- empty bottle of wine. Apparently she has been watching Terms of Endearment. Just the film to watch when you're depressed as hell. At least the wine makes it easier to approach her. She isn't wasted, but she _is_ tipsy. As I go sit on her bed she doesn't look at me, but I got the feeling that's because she's too caught up in her misery right now. I run my eyes over her face, thinking of something deep and meaningful to say.

"Luke…" she suddenly cries. "I miss her."

"Wh-Who?"

"My mom. She died, you know? Today seven years ago."

"No I didn't," I slowly reply and careful slide my arm around her for comfort. She doesn't pull away but instead lets her head rest against my chest. What she just told me is horrible but at least now I know why she's so closed off, and why she ran out of class crying earlier this day. It must've been hard to pass a day like this with no support whatsoever. "How did it happen?"

"A car accident," she sniffles. "Suddenly she was just gone…I never had the chance to say goodbye and it eats me up inside. After all those years that…emptiness she left behind is still there and I don't how to fill it. I feel so lonely and even _tired of life_ sometimes. I…I… I'm…lost."

"Peyt, you might feel lonely, but you're not alone. If you let me, I'll be there for you. I'll care for you, but you got to let me in."

"It's so hard. People who I let in leave me, Luke. They always leave."

"I won't go anywhere. As far as I'm concerned, we're friends. And friends don't leave each other behind."

I feel her nod against my chest and look down. It's peculiar how even after a fit of crying and obviously under influence seeing she spilled her heart out after being extremely angry with me; she can still be so beautiful. Slowly she looks up at me and I tuck a curl behind her ear smiling reassuring.

"Alright? And I bet Rachel feels the same way; you're the best friend she's had in ages."

She straightens herself and looks at me intensely, her big hazel eyes still glazed over. Softly she does the same I did with her and strokes the hair just above my ear. "You're a good person, you know that?"

Then I feel her fingers lower and rest on my cheek. Her other hand does the same and then they both slide behind my neck to intertwine there. I feel this would be the perfect moment to tell her 'No, stop Peyton, you drank half a bottle of wine and while that isn't all that much, you're also very, very sad and so aren't thinking clearly. Besides we're on a mission, and this isn't part of it.' but somehow I can't speak a word. It is as if she has hypnotized me and I just do nothing but stare at her with big eyes.

I feel her shuffling closer and closer until she's sitting on my lap. Then she gives me a short fluttery kiss in my neck and I instinctively pull her closer. She continues dropping soft kisses all over my skin, her lips making my body tingle. I really should just bail now, that'd be the smartest thing. Yet instead I slide my fingers in her curls. I've loved to touch them even when we weren't friends yet. They're so special. Then very suddenly her lips pull back and she decides not only to sit on my lap but also straddle me. Her shorts crawl up and her legs are now almost completely revealed. 'Get out' my brain screams…And then my hands start to stroke those long legs of her lustfully.

However, when she continues to stare in my eyes as if I'm some kind of hero, I make a decision; I'm not going through with this. She's…I can't do this to her. "Pey-"

But she leans down and captures my lips softly. Her body slowly moves along as she connects our lips over and over again, deepening our kisses steadily. My hands rest on her lower back and I press her closer against my body then she already is. Feeling her tongue I instantly open my mouth hardly thinking about how wrong this is. But I have to admit it feels damn good. I again tangle my hand in her curls as I pull my lips from hers to place them on her collarbone; desire coursing through my veins. I don't miss a single spot with my mouth, quickly discover her favorite spots in her neck and start sucking them, making her sigh in pleasure. As I shower her with kisses, she runs her hands through my hair until she suddenly takes my head in her hands and crashes her mouth into mine again, causing me to moan. I didn't know kissing could feel this good but oh, my God… Those lips, her taste, the hunger with which she kisses…

Her hand slowly shifts from my face, to my chest, to my stomach until she reaches her destination and then she smiles against my lips, feeling how aroused I am. I pull away from her mouth and gasp. This is not right, it suddenly flashes through my head again. I don't know where the hell I get my will power but I reach down and take her hand off me. Looking down, I think of something to say that won't hurt her too much but instead I'm forced to follow her movements. Never letting her eyes leave me, she very slowly pulls her top over her head and shakes her curls before she lets her top fall on the ground. Right now it couldn't be clearer she want sex, and lots of it.

She lets her eyes run over me as mine are mesmerized by her body. Her breasts are not exceptionally big but so, so perfect. Her _body_ is perfect and it resting on top of me half-naked is incredible. Her hands grab my shirt, trying to take if off but I'm a lot broader and taller than her so I help her. With darkened eyes she runs her fingers over my chest. Then she gazes into my eyes, throws her arms around my neck again and connects our lips again, rocking her hips teasingly into mine. We continue to kiss each other passionately, our tongues dueling yet she soon pulls away and leans back. I curse inarticulately. This is impossible to walk away from, even monks would agree with me.

I can't keep my eyes off of her. I know this is my last chance to stand up and leave yet instead of doing so I slide my hands up and down her sides, feeling, _seeing_ her chest fall and rise erotically. She arches her back even more when I begin caressing her breasts and moans loudly when I cover one of her erect nipples with my mouth, sucking it and stroking it with my tongue. She starts working on my belt and undoes it within seconds. This time I let her hand go wherever it wants and do whatever it wants. She is…so _damn_ good at this, and I'm losing control of my body in every singly way, moaning continuously. Wanting to give her the same pleasure she's giving me, I carefully let my hand slide in her panties and bite my bottom lip hard feeling her arousal.

She leans her head in my neck and starts to rock along with my movements as I continue stroking her. "Luke," she gasps erotically as I first slide one finger inside of her, then carefully another while she tightens the grip of her hand around me and moves faster. I feel my body build up to a climax and she must feel the same way because suddenly her hand leaves me and she places it over mine, pulling it away too. I close my eyes for a second as we take a moment of breathing, resting our foreheads against each other. "Take your pants off…" she then whispers in my ears huskily.

I jump up and do what she asks fast. Willpower? Vanished into thin air. Stripped down off all my clothes now, I slowly pull down her panties and let out a sigh of pure lust at the sight of her body, completely naked and visibly taken over by intense desire. I crawl on top of her and softly open her legs with my knee. She's breathing heavily and moans my name feeling me against the inside of her thigh.

I let my eyes run over her body once again. "Beautiful," I say breathlessly. I don't know if she needs some kind of reassurance but suddenly she grabs the back of my head and pulls me into another searing kiss. As we pull back, I look into her dark olive green eyes another couple of seconds before I slowly slide inside her.

* * *

I know in my previous stories when LP have sex it means they're together or blissfully happy, but it won't be like this in this story. Just saying that lol.

Anyway, tell me what you think!


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: **Thanks for the reviews! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter too. :)

* * *

Chapter 5

_Breathing heavily, I roll off her body, next to hers. As she turns around, I close my eyes and recuperate. That was incredible. It was like if she knew my body better than I did myself and she used her knowledge all too well. I take a few deep breaths and sigh satisfied, still in bliss. However, just laying there I quickly come back to planet earth, where things suddenly seem a lot more complicated. Sure we care about each other but not in that way, right? What we did was a little bit, huh, impulsive. How will we ever be able to look each other in the eyes again? She's supposed to be my friend but hell, I never did anything like this with my other female friends –alright, that last one should be singular and replaced with 'Haley'- before._

_Also, I know it's an awful thought but I can't help but wonder if she had sex with me, but imagined it was someone else, like Chris. I don't know…It's very well possible, isn't it? Thinking about it suddenly makes me very insecure and uncomfortable. I didn't imagine it was Brooke, for the record. I slept with Peyton because it was Peyton. It was just **her** which sort of scares me. First that vague feeling the day before yesterday I was getting over Brooke and now this…Having sex with a girl and not thinking about Brooke for a single second. When I went on a date with Sam-a girl from my biology class- a couple of weeks ago, I **did** think of Brooke. The whole time. Because she had dimples too, you know._

_But now…I can't help but wonder if what we're doing is in vain. What if there **are** other and better persons for us out there? If you click so well with somebody sexually, doesn't it mean something? On the other hand, I'm a guy right? Guys can have sex without feelings, and sex can be great to them without love. I'm confused. Why isn't Peyton saying anything? I need to talk about it. Slowly I turn my head her way._

_"Peyt…?"_

_I face her back and notice how her body is peacefully rising and falling. Carefully I straighten my body a bit and lean over her, seeing her hands clutched around her pillow, her eyes closed in a very relaxed way. She's already asleep. Great. I thought that was a guy think too? Well, at least she seems happy judging from the faint smile around her lips. Yet I don't know what to do. The only girl I ever had sex was with Brooke and she was my girlfriend, so I didn't have to break my head whether to stay or not. Just leaving would be rude, right? However, after a while I catch myself not being able to chase flashes of earlier away every time I look at her and so I decide leaving is maybe for the best after all._

x

"Luke, you're ready?"

I look over my shoulder and see Haley standing at the door with a book in her hand. I forgot we were going to the Rivercourt together with all that happened yesterday night. You'd be distracted for less. Plus, have you noticed before all media revolves around sex? It's disgusting and _obviously_, it turns people into horny cage people. Look at me. I know I said I don't like Peyton calling me a saint, but I was, until shortly, very decent in every way. School, personality, and _sex_. However now…I should've resisted her, you know? Pushed her off me. _Before_ the sex, off course.

"Yeah, wait, I'm just quickly going to change shirts."

I walk into my bathroom but don't completely close the door. It isn't necessary really; Haley is like one of the guys. I've seen her in her bra once when I accidentally walked in on her and while she has a nice body, I just can't see her in a sexual way; I've known her too long for that.

"Lucas!" she cries out in shock.

Jesus… Why is she yelling like this? She scared me to death there. "What is it Hales? You almost gave me a heart attack!"

"You're back!" she continues loudly and boldly enters the bathroom.

"What's w- Oh..." Scratches. All over my skin. I reach for my back and run my hand over it. "I…I can explain…" I stutter. Now I still need to find myself an explanation. Seriously, how can anyone find a good story for sex scratches? It's very much impossible I notice as I think thoroughly. "I, I-"

"You got attacked by a werewolf?"

"No!"

"You, mister, had sex!" she cries out as if she just did the revelation of the century. "With whom? With Brooke?"

I look down and attach my stare to the floor; I don't want to make eye contact with Haley because she knows me inside out. It's truly spooky sometimes when she reads my thoughts in my eyes. "With no one…" I respond dimly and child-like.

"A true acrobat you are then if you can not only reach you're back all over and on top of it, scratch it." She scans me with her big brown eyes. "It was… _Peyton_," she then accuses. I remain silent, but baffled at her oracle ways. "Alright…" she says in a deciding tone. "Now we're going to take a seat in the couch and you'll tell me everything about…whatever it is you have with that girl from A to Z, is that understood?" She sighs, shaking her head in disbelief. "I'm really shocked Luke," she lets me know and then heaves another deep sigh.

x

"Finally, what took you guys so long?" Mouth asks.

"Never mind," Haley responds. I just told her everything, 'from A to Z' like she asked, and I think she's kind of angry with me. Or at least disappointed. I'm ashamed to admit this but I can't say I regret my breaking-up-Chris-and-Brooke actions; they were loads of fun. I and _Peyton_ had loads of fun.

I raise an eyebrow when Skills greets me with a big grin instead of with his usual 'What's up, dawg?'

"What's up with _you_?" I ask, unable to resist a smile. He just looks so ridiculously pleased with himself.

"I had sex with Kate," he immediately replies.

"So what? It isn't like that's the first time."

"Against the wall in the bathroom, at her cousin's wedding rehearsal."

"What?" Haley cries out, complete surprise splattered across her face.

"Everything alright, Hales?" Mouth asks.

"I…" She places her hand on her forehead. "I'm just confused by this wave of oversexed friends." She gives me a short look, a very short one but it's enough for the guys to notice. _Damn it_. She shouldn't have given me that look. This is complicated enough without the risk of them laughing at me.

"Luke having sex?" Skills asks in slight surprise.

"_God_, Haley, I told you that in private."

She furrows her brows sadly. "I-I-I'm sorry, Luke…I"

I turn my head away from her and sigh irritated.

"Who are you having sex with?" Mouth now joins the interrogation.

"No one!" I cry exasperated.

"Then why did Haley look at you?"

"She's a bit cross-eyed."

"Luke!" Haley lets out insulted. "I know I shouldn't have…looked at you but why can't they know? They're your best friends, and they can keep a secret."

"Yeah!" Skills agrees.

All their eyes are fixed on me and I'm torn. What Haley said actually made me feel a bit guilty. They are indeed my best friends and if I don't trust them, what does that say about me? The only thing I'm worried about is how Peyton might react if she learns they know, but if they don't tell…What's the harm, right? I take a deep breath and then tell them the entire story for the second time this morning, from the complots to last night. When I'm finished, they look at me like I've grown a second head, only Haley is looking at the floor shocked and disappointed like she did earlier.

"But don't tell _anyone_!" I order.

"No…no," they mumble.

"Promise!"

"Promise, promise…"

A silence rushes in.

"But…" Mouth finally lets out a word. "Was it good?"

Haley's jaw drops as Skills bursts into laughter. I can't keep myself from smiling either; here I am in the deepest shit one can imagine but instead of giving advice he wants to know how it was. "None of your business," I reply.

"She was that bad, huh?"

"No, she…She was amazing."

Skills raises an eyebrow at Haley who shrugs clueless. I got the feeling she thinks there's something between me and Peyton transcending friendship, but she's wrong. Peyton is just a girl I really click with and who I uhm… happened to have sex with.

"Then it must've been you, the sucky one," Mouth teases.

"I…" I let out, my ego bruised. "Haley, tell them!"

"Why, was she there too?"

"Huh…" she shoots a fiery look at Mouth and Skills. "I most certainly was not! And I won't tell anything about…. I…I disapprove!"

"But I can't tell anything either!"

"Why not?"

"It'd make me look like some macho!"

"Then just ignore their comments. Easy as that."

"But…"

She then heaves a big sigh. "Alright…" she gives in. "He's got scratches. On his back. Primitive, animalistic sex marks."

"Show!"

"No!"

"Come on!"

"No!"

Then Skills comes up to me and does that weird martial art move with me. When he was younger he used to practise karate until he got bored and fed up with all the Japanese terms he had to learn by heart. However, a couple of things have stuck with him among which tolerance and a few grips. It's really unfair; I always lose whenever we fight.

"Let me go!" I yell and try to worm my way out. Opposite me I see Haley laughing. "Oh, now you can laugh huh? What happened with the 'I can't believe this Lucas, what's wrong with you?'? Skills, let me go!"

"Mouth!" Skills orders.

Mouth comes to stand with him and pulls up my shirt. Both of them just gaze at my back for a couple of seconds. "Huh…Feisty one…" Skills then lets out. "Did you…like that?"

"Oh my God," Haley sighs.

"Suck it up, Hales," Mouth orders. "We want to know."

She puffs indignant but does keep her mouth shut.

"I actually…" I bow my head, looking at my foot. "Actually I did. Everything about yesterday, well not the time after it, was _amazing_…It was the best sex I've ever had."

"Brooke…?"

"No, this was better…And I don't know what that means."

"What do you mean?" Skills asks. "It was just sex. Fun!" Alright, I did kind of skipped the part about her being sad and in tears but that was mostly because I don't want her secrets revealed or put her feelings on display; I've tried to keep this about me as much as possible.

"Yeah…you're right," I nod. "Absolutely right. Nothing more to it."

"No, he isn't right at all," Haley does her say. "I don't think two people can have sex without at least having some kind of feelings for each other."

"He said they were friends," Mouth points out.

"I'm his friend too. Is he going to sleep with me too now? Should I hide?"

"That's different," I do my say.

"How so?"

"Well Peyton…Uhm…Huh…Well it just is."

"Do you feel attracted to her?"

"Well duh," Mouth and Skills say synchronic.

"Look Haley," I try to explain. "Don't get me wrong, you're very pretty but…You have been our friend for so long we see you as a sister. And I, for obvious reasons, couldn't sleep with my sister. Peyton is very new to me, you know? It's like, yeah, she's gorgeous, and… I do like her, but only as a friend, I _love_ Brooke. Last night… made everything so complicated. I just need to find a way now to make things less awkward between the two of us because I don't want to lose her over this. I was just getting inside her head."

Haley eyes me long. "Why do you want to get inside her head?

"What?" I ask. "I…"

"Seriously, you've know her for what? Two weeks?"

"I don't know…Don't friends just do that?"

Skills and Mouth shrug as Haley remains silent. However, I know a million-and-one things are going on in her head. I don't ask further, though, her opinion doesn't please me at all to tell the truth. Her theory about me having feelings for her in particular. Unsettling.

x

Three classes down, five to go. Up until now I've done a great job avoiding Lucas, if I say so myself. I don't know what to say if I'd see him; for the first time in my life I'm completely lost for words. Thinking back about that evening makes me feel so ashamed about myself, I literally threw myself at him, looking for comfort. Worst thing is, it didn't have to come that far. I felt a couple of times he tried to walk away but then I just took off another piece of clothing. After all, he's a guy and off course I knew he'd eventually give in, no matter how bright the halo floating above his head. To be honest, I feel kind of like a slut right now and let me tell you, it isn't a good feeling.

Anyway,we have a ten minute break right now in which I'm hiding in a toilet; _that_ scared I am to run in to Lucas. How sad am I? When I suddenly hear two girls entering the bathroom, giggling, I cock my ears in a reflex.

"Why do you want to know, Bev?"

"I just do…"

Are they talking about sex? Why the hell is everyone talking about it and actually doing it? How can I forget like this? I should've been born in the fifties, when girls my age just learned how to pray with perfectly folded hands and make the most delicious toppings, instead of now when I'm confronted with sex everywhere.

"I think that bartender at Quinto," she replies. "But Chris is pretty great too."

Not that I hadn't already recognized the voice, but that's unmistakably Brooke. As quiet as possible I pull my legs up so that she doesn't notice someone in here is listening. I'm lucky I took the farthest toilet, by the way, against the wall.

"Better than Lucas?"

"Oh, yeah. Not that he was ba-"

"You'd think an athlete…"

"Yeah, you know but he's just so sweet. Too sweet. Sometimes you just want to…have it a bit rougher…And he always wanted to be _tender_."

What? Sure he's sweet but I didn't get that impression all that much in bed. To me, he was… Alright, I'll admit it even thought this is hard to even think about but…To me, he was _better_ than Chris. I don't know if I should think further about that. Basically all I know for sure right now is that I'm confused. However, before I get the time to ponder about my confusion some more, I hear the second bell ring which lets me know it's time for class again. PE.

About ten minutes later, I'm in the girl's locker room, changing into my sport outfit. We're going running in the park today are with other words, torture ourselves in nature. I'm not much of an athlete, you see, except for the cheerleading. God has given me good genes, I can pig out all I want, not stretch a leg and still not gain a pound. It's pretty great.

I suddenly feel someone's eyes burning on me and look over my shoulder. Haley? Is it possible he told her? Judging from her estimating face, I'm quite sure he did. Shaking the awkward feeling that thought brings along, off me, I continue to put my sports outfit on. When I'm finished, I walk out of the locker room only to immediately bump into someone. Looking up, I stare into a pair of sky blue eyes.

"I…I…" I stutter. How incredibly awkward.

He frowns and reaches out to touch my arm. "Peyt, we got to ta-"

"Oh, look, they're leaving!" I cut him off and speed walk past him to Rachel where I feel safe. _Phew_, successful escape.

x

Not much later Peyton is jogging through the park on her own seeing Rachel is A LOT faster than her and so wanted to continue on her own. However, that isn't much of a reference since almost everyone in Peyton's class runs faster than her. She's truly the turtle among the hares. Fed up with the imposed running, she suddenly plumps herself down on one of the park benches and wipes the minimal sweat she has gathered from her minimal running away. Seconds later, she already feels much more at ease and just looks at the pond, the bright blue sky and the beautiful willows, unable to understand why they can't simply enjoy this view instead of being forced to run in it. She wishes she had her drawing pad with her.

"Hi," a deep voice suddenly greets.

Peyton lets out a high yell at the person that seemed to come out of nowhere.

"Sorry," he smiles.

"It's alright," she answers and can't seem to suppress a blush when Chris goes to sit down next to her.

"Sucks, doesn't it?"

"Yeah…"

"So…I changed my mind, ab-"

"Excellent, does the new one work better?" She immediately says and bites her tongue for it. Putting him down isn't the way to get him back, but that was just too easy.

"Nice one blondie," he chuckles. "I taught you well."

"Uh…So what did you change your mind about then?"

"I'd like to be friends with you."

"Just friends? You can't. Not with me."

He sighs. "I don't know, Peyton," he admits. "But I'd like to try. You know, when you came back I convinced myself nothing would change."

"But?"

"But I was wrong. Since you've been back everything has been so different; I've been fighting with Brooke every five seconds, about towels and Juliet and than that book nerd a-" He noticed Peyton's eyes shifting nervously at that last one. "Did I say something wrong? I know he cared for you at that party b-"

"No, no, just continue," she insists.

"Alright then." He lets out another sigh. "So we're having all these problems, but it's not just Brooke, it's you, too. I think not having you in my life is eating on me."

"So you want to be my friend so that you can be a better boyfriend to Brooke?" she asks in disbelief.

"No, not just because of that," he quickly says. "It's about you too."

"What about me?"

"You're changing."

She looks at him non-understanding and slightly irritated. "What do you mean Chris?"

His eyes grow even more troubled than they already were. "Are you seeing anybody? I…I know I don't have the right to ask you this or be upset about it but I am."

"Why would you think I'm seeing anybody?"

"Because…You seem you seem quite happy, without me. And if you're happy, I want to be a part of that too. I've known you too long to not want to be."

"Are you jealous?"

He shrugs. "I'm confused."

"About?"

"You…Brooke…"

She gazes at him with her hazel eyes wide. "You know, I could be a lot happier if I was _with_ you."

He stares back at her. "You know I can't, I'm with Brooke."

"You love her?"

"…Yeah."

She sighs, briefly closing her eyes. Then she shuffles forward and gives him a simple hug. She can't push him. Breaking up him and Brooke is still in her cards, because it'll speed up the entire process of him getting back to where he belongs, with her; but she can't force herself onto him now that his mind is all over the place. Softly, she whispers: "I missed you."

"I missed you too, blondie."

In the meanwhile, two pairs of eyes are watching them, one blue, and one brown. Haley stares back and forward between her best friend and Peyton and Chris on the bench, hugging like this embrace is their freaking air, and gets angry with the curly blond. Doesn't matter what kind of deal she has with Lucas, she slept with him and Lucas being the guy he is usually doesn't have sex with just any girl. If you'd ask her, he's falling in love but she knows her friend doesn't realize it, he's slow like that. In the meanwhile, this situation does confuse and even hurt him; she can see that in his eyes and read it by the expression on his face.

As they hear a whole group of class mates approaching, Peyton and Chris pull away from each other. Peyton furrows her brows sadly when he runs away but a little bit later, she gets herself together and decides to do the same. She doesn't want to get an F for zeal. However, her determination to run at least one round is in vain as she suddenly feels someone pull her, right into the bushes.

* * *

"Haley?" I cry out non-understanding. "What are you doing?" I turn my eyes up as I notice there are a bunch of leaves stuck in my hair. 

"No, what are _you_ doing?"

I sigh and hold my tongue a couple of moments. "I take it Lucas told you about us?" I then softly break the silence.

"Yeah, he did and I just want to say I don't like what you're doing to him."

"What? Did he tell you about the…plans too?"

"Yes, but that's not what I meant, although that's also pretty awful but he seems to be in it fully realizing what he is in. With what happened yesterday between the two of you…Not so much."

"Well Haley, what's going on between me and Lucas is none of your business."

"You had _sex_ with him! Doesn't that mean anything to you?"

We both turn our heads as another person decides to join us. "Rach? What are you doing here?"

"She heard the word 'sex'," Haley responds dryly.

"Oh, that's almost as funny as the thought of you actually having it."

They start an ear-deafening bickering that's enough to make the calmest person a raging lunatic. "Cut it out!" I yell. "Rach, again, what are you doing here?"

"I saw you two disappear in the bushes and got curious! What is _she _doing here?"

"Interfering with my business."

"Lucas is my friend so his business is mine too," she defends herself.

"What's going on with Luke?"

"Peyton slept with him," Haley immediately replies.

"You did what?" Rachel cries out in disbelief. I look down at my feet and blush. "Peytonnnn…" Instead of lecturing me, she just grins at me devilishly. "So how was he?"

"I can't believe this…" Haley mutters. "Is that the only important thing?"

"Listen Haley," I suddenly begin in a very serious tone. "I know Lucas is your friend and I'm sorry if I'm tainting him or whatever but I do really like him. Doesn't matter if it isn't in a romantic way, I care about him. I consider him a friend, and I'm sorry about this, I didn't mean for it to happen; it just did."

"Friends don't sleep with each other."

"Neither do they interfere with their private lives without their knowledge," I shoot back. "Because I doubt Luke asked you to do this."

"You care about him?" she asks fiery. "Then you shouldn't have slept with him!"

"He didn't seem to mind when he was moaning under me or on top of me for that matter!" I cry and immediately bite my tongue as Haley touches her forehead, a trauma forming in her brain I can imagine. No one wants to hear those kinds of things about her best friend and I admit my comment wasn't very appropriate. It just bugs me so much. I'm sure Lucas saw this as nothing but comfort sex. I shouldn't have used him to feel better but if he truly hadn't wanted it, he could've said 'no'.

"Ignoring my question, much?" Rachel complains. "How was it?"

"That's another thing," I sigh a tad desperate and go sit down in the grass, between the moss and plants. "You know- You _both_ know how much I love Chris, right?"

"Yeah," Rachel answers as Haley nods irritated.

"Well I overheard Brooke talking about sex with him while I was in the toilets. And then about sex with Lucas. Anyway, she compared them and she thought Chris was way better."

"And is he?"

"You know, he _is_ really great but he never made me… feel the way _Lucas_ **did**. I…" I suddenly begin to blush heavily.

"You what-oh? How many times?"

I hold up three fingers and then sigh once again. "It's so confusing. I know it was just comfort sex but still…_Confusing_. And uh…I'm kind of relating pretty much everything I see –except for Chris- with sex since yesterday. With sex with Luke. Now I -"

"Oh, Peyton, don't worry," Rachel reassures me. "You should be happy you had great sex. Imagine if it had sucked, everything would've been even worse. And sexual fantasies are just that; it doesn't say anything about who you love, trust me."

"You sure?" I ask hopefully and also look at Haley.

"I don't know," she sighs. "I've always thought they were feelings involved when to people have sex but everyone is convinced of the contrary so I don't know what to think anymore. Just for me and my romantic soul I'd like to think there's something more going on between you and Luke than sex but maybe, _probably_, there isn't. I think it was that good between the two of you because there wasn't too much thinking involved, just, huh, _God_ I can't believe I'm saying this…just _humping_. You two were letting the…the animal loose in you, literally too."

"What?" Rachel asks quirking an eyebrow.

"Huh, yeah," Haley laughs still slightly shocked. "You gave him scratches, all over his back."

"Oh no," I let out and bury my head in my hands.

"Damn, it must've been really good then," Rachel says with wide, surprised eyes. "I kinda wanna go too…"

"Djeez, he's not a rollercoaster."

"Shush, you prude."

Instead of biting back, Haley sighs deep and then turns to me.

"Look Peyton. You've got to talk to Lucas."

"I'm scared," I admit almost whispering.

"Why? He isn't going to bite. I know he feels just as freaked out as you now."

I let out a low complaining humming. I don't want to. "Can't I just keep avoiding him?"

"Peyton," Haley insists sternly.

"Alright," I then give in. "I'll talk to him."

"-"

"After school!"

x

"Where is Chris?" Ms Torrington asks irritated. "Without a Romeo we can't start rehearsal."

"He just texted me," Brooke lets her know. "His car broke down and he's in the garage now but he should be here in about twenty minutes."

"Twenty minutes?" she lets out anything but amused. Then she paces a while before letting her eye fall on Lucas. "Lucas, jump in for Chris until he's back!"

I open my mouth to politely refuse but Peyton beats me to it.

"No!" she cries.

"Yes!" Ms Torrington insists.

"B-"

"Oh, Peyton, he won't bite and we got to keep to schedule as much as possible. Go on, Lucas. I know you know the lines by heart."

Truth is, Ms Torrington has wanted me to be Romeo ever since she found out she'd be the one directing the play. Being the excelling English student I am she constantly buries me under compliments and every time she lends me one of her books, she insists on pinching my cheek and says what a handsome face I do have and that I would make a great Montague. Preferably Romeo, but I personally enjoy a role behind the scenes more. I'm not one to step onto the foreground. Now, though, I'm kind of forced to.

I step onto the scene and exchange an awkward look with Peyton. Not liking this. Clearing my throat, I pick up where we left off last time. "More light and light; more dark and dark our woes!"

Then Brooke hops Peyton's way. "Madam!"

"Nurse?"

"Your lady mother is coming to your chamber:  
The day is broke; be wary, look about."

Then she hops back off the scene.

"Then window," Peyton continues. "Let day in, and let life out."

"Farewell, farewell. One kiss, and I'll descend."

But I can't kiss her.

"Kiss!" Ms Torrington chirrs. I think teenagers kissing turns her on or something.

Peyton looks as she's about to faint when I begin to do what is told hesitantly. She further takes a small step back, but it's enough for her to slip and fall on the wooden stage with a dull bang. Everyone screams as she lays there flat, without saying a word. I quickly kneel down at her and bow over to see her staring anxiously at the ceiling.

* * *

"Are you alright?" Chris hears Lucas ask softly. He has just arrived, only to see Lucas hanging above Peyton. The slight sting of jealousy pales, though, when Brooke says she fell. He'd like to ask her if she's alright too, but he gets the feeling he'd be the third wheel as Lucas softly rubs her cheek and she does nothing to stop it. Not normal Peyton behaviour. Hesitantly he steps halfway the stage where he sees she's conscious. 

"I fell," Peyton whimpers.

"Does it hurt?" Lucas asks.

"No, only a bit."

"She's alright!" he lets everyone who's asking panicky if she's okay, know. As he turns his head back to Peyton, he lets out a sigh. "Peyt, we got to talk about what happened last night." He lets his hand rest on her cheek but softly brushes away from her eye with his thumb.

Chris cocks his hear but it's all too quiet. Why is this taking so long? Didn't he just say she was alright? Why doesn't he stand up? What are they talking about?

She folds her face in misery. "No…"

"Just look at you! You almost got yourself a concussion because you're scared of me coming too close. You can't go on like this…And I can't either."

She shakes her head. "I'm sorry, Luke," she apologizes and places her hand over his. "I'm horrible."

Why is she doing that? Brooke in the meanwhile looks up at him and he tears his eyes away from the two blonds in front of him to gaze into her green eyes. What is _he_ doing _this_? He's got a great, amazing, beautiful, funny girlfriend; and he loves her very much. This crazy jealousy over a guy, who is his polar opposite and hence no one Peyton can be attracted to in the first place, is just because of that feeling that she is still his. He never really had the time to mourn their relationship, and that's just what he's doing now, surely.

"No…You're not horrible." Lucas shakes his head and then looks up to see everyone staring sheepishly at them. "But we'll talk later, okay? We can't do that here," he whispers and then stands up again.

x

I see her sitting in the library just with her drawing pad and a black pencil, and gather my courage.

"What are you drawing?" I ask when I've reached her. I don't have to whisper since the library is empty: we're going on an excursion tomorrow and so don't have anything to do.

She looks up slightly startled at first and then just nervous. Slowly she bows her head, eyes her drawing, sighs, and shows it to me. It's Chris as Romeo, but not in love or smiling. On the contrary her version of the Chris-Romeo looks confused and dark.

"That's amazing," I say and briefly forget for what I came here for. She's an outstanding artist. "Have you ever thought about entering them for some competition? I know they have those kinds of drawing competitions regularly at Thud magazine."

"Yeah…I know, but I'm too chicken. Besides, for every me, there are ten others who are better."

I don't reply. If I say what she says isn't true, she won't believe me anyway. Maybe I should just take them with me once, secretly, and enter them. Off course that action would come with the risk of decapitation.

She stares at me uncomfortably before looking down.

"I want to talk about what happened," I then address what I came for.

"Alright," she nods deeply sighing.

"I-"

"It was a mistake."

"Y-"

"Yes, very wrong," she again interrupts me. "But this, we, shouldn't get awkward, right? I mean, I know it meant nothing and so do you. I was depressed, and I needed something to make me feel good and you were there so… I'm sorry. It shouldn't have happened."

"Yeah," I softly say. This should relieve me, shouldn't it? Instead I feel quite annoyed with her. "I'm sorry too. You were vulnerable and I was being, well, a guy-"

"No, no, I forced myself onto you so I take full responsibility."

"You shouldn't," I say firmly. "I was there too, you know?"

"What are you saying?" she asks defensively.

"Nothing, it's just my fault too. That's all," I quietly respond.

I'm bugged, though, that she immediately put up her shield when I wanted to apologize. It's like she can't accept anyone caring about her, except for Chris and _despite_ the conversation we had yesterday . Or does she want to forget about what I told her too? Another thing that aggravates me is her assuming I was some kind of puppet in her hands. I knew what I was doing, I'm not a shoe.

She puts her hand on mine and softly intertwines her fingers with mine. "Still, I'm sorry I used you. I …You and Rachel are the only two people here who I actually know and uhm…"

"What?"

"You know we click, huh? And I know I said I wasn't interested in being friends but I _am_ now so…If we can put last night behind us, I think we could have a great friendship." She pauses. "Do you still want to try?"

I bow my head and look at our intertwined hands. My stomach turns in this awful way and I feel like throwing up or something. "Sure," I respond and pull my hand away. The feeling fades, but doesn't seem to leave completely.

She backs away surprised at the easiness of this. "I'm so glad, Lucas," she sighs out pleased. "I was so afraid we wouldn't be able to look at each other anymore. You're so understanding."

Nodding more annoyed than ever, I let out a low humming, which should come across as an affirmation of her words.

"So about the plan…" she changes the subject.

"The plan?"

"With Chris and Brooke off course! You still want to go through with operation break-them-up, right? I saw the way Brooke was looking at you when you were about to kiss me. She didn't liiiike it…And Chris hugged me this forenoon. Everything is going so well!"

"Huh…off course," I confirm less than enthusiastic.

Now I _am_ being a shoe. To tell the truth, I can't stand to look at her for the moment. I feel more like yelling at her until she turns deaf but then I get the feeling that would not hurt only her, but me too. Because I care about her. Like a lot. I agree we should move on from last night but how can she so quickly? I thought we'd need at least a couple of days. Looking at her now, making plans…It seems like she's over it already. I'm not. Nonetheless, I hear her out as I look down the same way I've been looking all day: confused.

* * *

So...Back to the light-heartedness. It's a real difference from the real OTH unfortunately. Anyways, I try to look at it from the bright side: if LP wouldn't be in such deep shit right now, Hil (and Chad) wouldn't have been able to give us those amazing performances. Especially Hil has outdone herself this season. The gym scene was pure gold and I admit she made me cry LOL. 


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N**: Thanks for the reviews! Oh, and I hate Lindsey.

* * *

Chapter 6 

"Come on Luke," she urges me. "You know, for a basketball player you're really slow."

"Oh, I'm sorry…It's just that…Crawling through the earth with bushes hanging above my head isn't my specialty."

The reason why we look like para commandos on a mission right now is because of Peyton's luminous plan. Twenty minutes ago she sneaked through Chris' window with a just bought pair of panties and further put it between the couch downstairs, where Chris and Brooke are currently laying on. Making out yet again. Yes, I know, they've got a way of being repetitive. However, I'm not bothered by it as much as I was about two weeks ago. To tell the truth, I think I'm moving on from Brooke, hence why I'm not really interested in the plan anymore. Yet I don't dare to tell Peyton that. She'd probably see it as betrayal as I promised to stick with her through this until the end. Yet lately I've begun doubting her motivations behind all the scheming.

"Peyton?"

"Hmmm…?"

"I think you're doing this for kicks."

"What?" She looks over her shoulder fiery.

Oops, maybe I shouldn't have said it this bluntly but it's a theory I've been thinking about for a couple of days now. Every time her father calls to say he won't be coming home yet again, she reacts completely indifferent while I know she loves him more than anything. I can't explain how I know; it's just something I sense. In my opinion, her love for Chris is nothing more than a cover, which she is also fooling herself with, and so not all that strong as she thinks. This is exactly why she keeps involved in his life without pain or all that many emotions: deep down I think she knows she can handle life without him and that this is just a way to pass her free time, which she'd rather spent with her father. Like she's trying to fill an emptiness. If she was really heartbroken, she'd just close herself off to him, I'm certain about that.

"Kidding," I instead respond and she kinks her eyebrow suspiciously but then turns back around.

"Awesome…" she whispers as Brooke finds the panties between the couch.

I, like Peyton, raise my head a bit over the bushes to see what exactly is going on and notice a whole lot of hand-waving, furious faces with opening and closing mouths and finally, Brooke holding the panties in the air. Just as Peyton smiles pleased that her plan is succeeding, Chris' younger sister Laurie storms down the stairs and rips the panties out of Brooke's hands. Brooke's eyes widen as she seemingly is shocked by this revelation. Chris, in the meanwhile, starts yelling at his sister who begins to sob hysterically. It's a true circus.

"Nooooo!" Peyton yells, and too loud. Chris stops screaming at once and turns around, direction window. "Fuck, fuck, fuck…" she mumbles and literally climbs over me, pushing me in a pool of muddy water. "God, Luke," she then complains. "You're so clumsy, hurry up!" We quickly hide and watch tensed how Chris stares out of the window, scanning the bushes. Seconds seem like hours. Then, luckily, he turns around and points his attention towards his sister again, who is probably sexually active, a fact that leaves Chris less than amused.

"Come on," Peyton then says and pulls me along but as I'm still wet, I slip so that I land into yet another puddle of mud. Then she bursts out in a heartily laughter. "Oh, Luke, you look like you blew shit away. SSSSexy."

"Damn, Peyt, this isn't funny! You're plan failed and now I'm covered from top to toe in mud."

"I'm so sorry," she apologizes with a few laugh hiccups.

"Yeah, you laugh! But they're working on the shower at home. So I'm forced to walk around like this whole afternoon!"

x

"Peyton?" sounds an old voice.

"I think she's upstairs, dear."

The elderly couple roaming the Sawyer residence currently is Peyton's grandparents, Robert and June. Both look extremely tanned and summery as they just came back from Spain after traveling there. Though they're old and you'd expect them to sit at home all day in their rocking chairs, this is their life: voyages and discovering new cultures, a way of living that has partly estranged them from their American home. However, now that they're back for a week, they decided to visit their granddaughter, who they heard is now living in Tree Hill. Alone. Slightly worried, they felt they had to drop by to check up on her and maybe convince her that this Chris boy isn't everything and that she'd better moved back to her fatherly- and motherly- home.

"Peyton!" Robert calls again. He's a rather tall and slender man with gentle eyes and graying yet still dark-brown hair. His wife is also thin, but with a head full of golden curls, like Peyton's, and lively blue eyes which make her look about then years younger than the sixty years she actually is.

"P…" As June opens the door, she comes to stand eye in eye with a very naked young man who is hundred percent not her granddaughter. Lucas immediately closes the door, in utter panic. The elderly woman's is left shocked as she had obviously not expected to see this kind of image. "Oh oh…I…I…"

"Grandma!" Peyton cries appalled as she walks into the room with two towels. She was just in time to see the door close. "What are you doing here?" Without waiting for an answer, she walks to the bathroom and knocks a couple of times. "Towels…" The door quickly opens, Lucas' hand slips through and grabs the towels at an astonishing speed before closing the door again.

Peyton turns to her grandparents again, staring at them confused. Her grandmother's eyes are wide as she stumbles: "I…I didn't know you and that Chris-"

"Chris?" she lets out even more confused. "Oh, he's not- Yeah, Chris!" she then cries out as if a light is switched on in her head. Saying this is her long-time boyfriend in there and not some guy she has met in her couple weeks here naturally will come across better with her grandparents, who would be very displeased to learn she lets guys she has known for a couple weeks shower in her house. "That's Chris in there. The love of my life…The one who makes me happy!" She hopes she didn't overdo it with those comments but just in case she did, she smiles widely and lets out a short laughter, which is supposed to sound reassuring.

"He's a lot more muscled than I had imagined him," her grandfather mumbles to his wife. "I thought Larry said he was scrawny?"

"I don't know, dear, maybe he has done some sit-ups…"

"Alright," Peyton interrupts still shocked. "What are you guys doing here?"

"We just came back from Spain," June replies happily. "We thought we'd pay our lovely granddaughter a visit." A silence rushes in. "Or had you rather not?" she then asks a bit insulted as Peyton keeps staring at her like she's a ghost.

Peyton shakes her head as she lets the new information sink in. "Off course not," she then sighs out, walking over to them. They open their arms to her. "I'm so glad to see you two." It's the truth. When she was younger, they would often baby-sit her and hence she spent a big part of her under-twelve childhood there. For their age, they're very open-minded and energetic. This is all just a big surprise and that's why she's acting a bit sheepishly.

June and Robert smile as they pat her back. "Look at you, you're so beautiful!" her grandmother chirps as they pull back. "You look just like me when I was that age, only I must say I was more endowed in the breast department."

"Grandma!" Peyton lets out before bowing her head. Her breasts are the primary thing about her body she can be self-conscious over since she just has an A-cup, so off course the comment embarrasses her. Luckily her grandfather is still there to throw a disapproving look at his wife.

At that moment the bathroom door opens and Lucas walks out looking red as a beet. Everyone looks at him in silence, Peyton apologizing with her stare, her grandparents estimating him.

"So Chris…" her grandfather begins sternly. Just as Lucas opens his mouth to protest and let them now he's _Lucas_, Peyton lightens him with her eyes, indicating he should just go with it. "You must be quite special if my granddaughter moved here just for you," Robert notices. "What's your IQ, boy?"

"I, huh…123."

"How many girlfriends before her?"

"O-One."

"Got any diseases?"

"Grand-pa!" Peyton goes to stand in front Lucas. "He doesn't have any diseases, he isn't driven by sexual urges and he's very smart, alright? Now leave him alone!"

"No can do," her grandmother then smiles. "We were planning on taking you to a Spanish restaurant tonight, and since Chris is also here, we might as well ask him along." Lucas and Peyton both open their mouths to protest but are cut off. "Oh, it will be lovely," June continues. "Gazpacho, paella, churros…And my granddaughter happy!" she says that last as if it's a miracle. "Anyway, we're going to settle in that beautiful bedroom down the hall."

"Don't I need t-"

"No, you just stay with Chris," June says with a wide grin. As she turns around and walks away, Peyton's grandfather looks over his shoulder, giving Lucas the 'I'm watching you'-sign, which makes fake-Chris swallow thickly.

When they're gone, Peyton turns around and gazes at Lucas with puppy eyes, understanding that what just happened is entirely her fault. Now he has to pretend he is Chris and go dine with her only _semi_-sane grandparents, all because of her. "Luke…" she pouts.

"Peyt…I hate that you're putting me in this position. This is like the worst thing you could do to me: make me act like I'm… that _assh- him_."

"I'm sorry, but I didn't want them to think I'm a slut, or a scheming bitch for that matter."

"I'm going to tell I'm not Chris," Lucas says determined.

Seeing his iron face, Peyton panics and descends before she wraps her arms around his calves and presses her head against his knees. "Please don't," she begs. "Please, please, please…They'll tell my dad and he'll come get me. Luke…Pleeeeeeeeease." In utter surprise, Lucas looks down at her. She looks up at him and pouts. "Please?"

Lucas sighs. Pretending one night if he's Chris won't kill him, right? "OK," he gives in. "But you owe me. Big time."

"Thank you, thank you thank you" she almost whimpers and immediately rises from her knees, giving him a hug. "You're the best."

Lucas smiles though he feels like his backbone has just disappeared giving in, and hugs her back. Having her in his arms, the feeling he had when she took his hand at the library returns and goes to lay like a brick on his stomach. However, instead of pulling back, he wraps his arms a little tighter around her. "The food had better be freaking amazing."

In the hall, June catches a glimpse of Lucas, who has his arms around Peyton and seems to be taking in the scent of her hair. "Awww, they're adorable…" she says happily. "I think he really loves her, just look at how he holds her. So closely."

Her husband's head joins her, peeking. "I may hope so. That girl deserves a little bit of happiness."

x

"Grandma…" Peyton complains. "Don't pull so hard!"

"Good Lord, girly! When's the last time you brushed your hair?"

"Yesterday! And why can't I just let it loose?"

"Nobody likes a frumpy girl…"

"I'm not frumpy!"

"Not now you're not," she responds and lest go of my hair. I look in the mirror and have to admit it looks pretty great worn up. I further rise from my chair and go change into the red dress grandma has ordered me to wear. It was the most Spanish-looking piece of clothing in my wardrobe which is, to tell the truth, not very Spanish but who cares?

When the doorbell rings, grandma quickly says she'll get it and disappears downstairs as I run the palm of my hand over the creases in my dress. Then I put little golden earrings in and check myself out in the mirror once again. This dress is actually doing justice to my A-cup; they look at least a B tonight.

"Hey," I then hear and turn around. Lucas is standing there uncomfortable in a suit as grandma had ordered him earlier. He does look incredible handsome though. "You look, huh, really pretty," he says not without trouble.

Poor boy. He looks so uncomfortable.

"Luke, again, so sorry," I apologize. "On a different note…" I then change the tone of my voice. "I didn't know you could knot a tie this well." Smiling, I lay my hand on his tie.

"Haley did it for me," he admits. "I kind of almost choked myself."

"It looks good," I respond. He looks down at me with those intense blue eyes of him and I suddenly feel like I'm the one being choked. I…He has never looked at me like that before. It was as if…No, silly thought. Yet it _has_ made me feel awkward and so I pull my hand away. Luckily the tension after we look away from each other is broken by my grandparents urging us to come downstairs.

x

"How is this wine called again?" Peyton asks as she pours the slightly bitter fluid down her throat. This is a beautiful restaurant with a typical Spanish orchestra playing in the background and people dancing to it on the floor reserved for it. As long as I don't have dance, all is well though.

"Bodega Casa de la Ermita."

"Yummy."

"So…how did you guys meet?" her grandma would like to know.

"I…huh…" she stumbles.

"Just at school," I help her. "She was a loner and I was too and I think that drew us to each other."

"Wasn't she defensive?"

"Grandma!"

"Well, Peyton, sweetie, you have to admit you aren't always very approachable."

"She was VERY approachable. In fact, she asked _me_ out. She said: Chris, you're the most handsome boy I have ever seen and I want us to be together. Right now."

"I can't remember that," Peyton says shaking her head. "Are you sure that wasn't your _ex_?"

I put my arm around her shoulder upon which she narrows her eyes to splits. She's like an irritated cat or something, it's kind of cute. Besides, since I'm doing this for her, against my will, I'm allowed to tease her a bit, right? "No no…Come on…I was sitting there, the sun falling on my face and you just went on about how mesmerized you were by the sight of me."

Peyton almost invisibly bites her bottom lip. If I wasn't doing her a favor, I'm sure she would've stormed off already. Instead of doing so, she slips her arm around my waist and I can't help but smile. This girl definitely has a winner's mentality, hell; she even wants to win the silly game I'm playing with her now. "Yes," she confirms "and I didn't even mind your slurry pit smell."

I look at her insulted but then get myself together and laugh as if she told the best joke in the world. "Oh, you're so funny…Isn't she funny Mr. Sawyer? You got yourself one hell of a granddaughter. She might be a little rough around the edges but when we're alone…Then she's just the sweetest little thing alive."

"Awww…" June sighs out.

"Yes, and she loves it when we use food to address each other."

"How do you mean?"

"You know, sweetie pie, sugar cake, honey bun."

"Really Peyton?" her grandpa asks. "I have to say you really don't seem like the type."

"But she is," I confirm and pull her even closer against me. "Aren't you, sugar lips?"

Judging from the expression on her face she's an inch away from throwing up her gazpacho. Yet she replies: "Yes, apple dumpling, but that's because I love you to _death_. I mean, seriously grandpa, grandma…I love Chris here SO much I don't even notice half of the time, his outfit looks like it has been picked out by Stevie Wonder…I'm just…truly convinced love is blind now, because of him."

She shrugs carelessly and puts her head on my upper chest sweetly while her hand pinches my arm hard. "Ouch!"

"Everything OK, Chris?"

"Yes, Mrs. Sawyer, it's huh…I love Peyton so much it hurts me physically."

Suddenly I think about what I did yesterday after school. When she hadn't been watching, I took a couple of her drawings out of her bag pack and entered them for one of Thud's competitions. Sneaky, I know, but I'd hate for her to waste her gift out of fear. Anyway, I was waiting for the perfect moment to tell her the truth but that moment didn't seem to come, up until now. Her grandparents think I'm her boyfriend who she loves more than life itself. She can't go yelling at me now.

"Yesterday…" I address her grandparents yet change the tone of my voice into a serious, timid one. "I entered some of her drawings for a competition, and though she admitted she was afraid to do the very same thing for so long, she was extremely grateful."_ Please_ let her be grateful.

"_What_?" Peyton bites and pulls away from me.

"Really?" her grandma asks surprised. "That's odd. See, when she was younger –four or five- she didn't even allow us to put her drawings on the fridge. 'Don't stick it on the fridge!' she yelled. Didn't you, sweetie?" Peyton nods uncomfortably and I suddenly feel very guilty. "When I asked her why not," June continues "she just kept repeating 'it's me, it's me!'." She smiles at Peyton softly. "You used to really express yourself through your drawing, didn't you? It was like you put your soul on paper, and no one was allowed see."

Again she nods and also looks away. Then the waiter approaches our table and asks Peyton's parents to come to the kitchen. Seeing they're, since their visit to Spain, incredibly interested in the culture they have asked to see which herbs the chef will use for their main dish. As they rise from their chair and follow the waiter, I turn to Peyton. "God, I'm sorry, I-"

"You didn't have the right, Luke. You should've _asked_."

"I know, I…I don't know what else to say except that I'm stupid and huh, sorry."

"Luke…What if I were to bring in your stories for publication? You'd be pissed too, no?"

"Probably…But I did this because …Your art matters. It's unique, unlike anything I've seen before. Just so much emot-"

"I've read some of your short stories," she then confesses in one breath.

"What? When?" I ask now also in defense.

"You know when I was too early to meet you that Thursday and you still had to help around a bit in the Café? Well, then… And I…They were beautiful, Luke." I look away and she just lays her hand on my face and forces me to look at her. "Your art matters too, but if I wasn't a hundred percent sure you were ready to show it to the world, I wouldn't either."

I frown saddened. I can imagine how she's feeling right now: exposed and vulnerable. "I didn't mean to…Show you to the world."

"I know…" she sighs, takes a moment of silence and then shrugs. "I guess it's alright…They'll probably won't even look at them anyway."

I'd protest, but am wise enough not to. It'd be misplaced. Her grandparents soon join us again, complaining about the chef who isn't really Spanish and the herbs which weren't of good enough quality. We just silently sit there, sipping wine until the alcohol does its job and we start talking along again. After dessert we're waiting for our coffees when suddenly the band starts to play 'Maria Maria'.

"This isn't Spanish either!" her grandpa complains. "It's Mexican!"

"Santana," Peyton specifies.

"Who cares, Robert?" his wife replies. "I've been wanting to dance all night and this song is perfect for it!"

"I'm not dancing!"

"Oh, then Chris will dance with me, huh Chris?"

Lucas eyes widen. "I-I can't dance."

"Don't be shy, honey bun," Peyton jumps in. "I've seen you dance, you got moves."

"I'm curious," her grandma smiles as she pulls me from my seat. This is torture; I seriously have two left feet.

* * *

I'm almost dying of laughter over here. Lucas is so wooden, just like I had expected. Sports men like footballers, tennis players and basketball players have shorter muscles than for example ballet dancers and so have a hard time with supple, fluent movements. It's hilarious to see.

"You're really happy, aren't you Peyton?" grandpa asks.

I stop laughing and look at him slightly confused. No, I'm not happy. I came here to _become_ happy, remember? But I haven't gotten what I need yet so I can't look happy, I'm incomplete. Why is he saying this? He doesn't know what he's talking about.

"Come on, let's dance," he then smiles and despite his earlier rejections, leads me to the dance floor where he demonstrates what he has learned in Spain.

I have to say I -with my cheerleading qualities and grandpa are better together than grandma and Lucas, who would SO be last in Dancing with the Stars. Even _I_ now notice I can't wipe the smile I have on my face, away. This is the most fun I've had in ages. Suddenly he twirls around and starts dancing with grandma who pushes Lucas my direction with a look that indicates he's won't soon be chosen to star in Tchaikovsky's Swan Lake.

"Hey it's Pinocchio," I tease as I throw my hands around his neck.

"I'm trying!" he says almost desperately.

"Just twirl me around," I help. Twirling indeed seems to be just within his capacities so I just twirl, twirl, twirl until I'm drunk. All of a sudden, I stumble a few steps back but Lucas swiftly slips his arm around me so that I wouldn't fall. I laugh at myself up until the point where I turn red. It's a combination of fun and wine.

"You're crazy!" Lucas accuses but is smiling widely.

* * *

"If I'm crazy, you are too!"

I cup her cheek and stare in her eyes, which are slightly glazed over because of the laughter. "Why?"

She suddenly turns very calm and quiet before she lifts her hand and slides her finger over my nose slowly. I don't get her intrigue with my nose but it's there. When I told her the knack in my nose is because I broke it once as a kid, she acted like it was the most interesting story ever. Now also she lingers on the place I broke it and smiles. I feel my heart beating a little faster looking at her, at her face, in her eyes and become extremely nervous.

"Because you get me," she then answers.

The song ends and she pulls away to go back to her spot smiling, yet _I _remain standing with an aching feeling in my heart. Then it suddenly hits my why I feel like that I must say, the reason is inconveniency in its purest form. I join her and her grandparents at the table again and am silent for the rest of the time, just looking down or occasionally at Peyton. Two coffees later we leave and after a ten minute car ride, the car stops in front of my house.

Peyton steps out too and goes 'till my door. "You know normally the guy has to do this?" she jokes.

I can't even crack a smile right now. "Yeah…"

"Hey, what's up?" she asks and reaches out to softly rub my arm. "I thought we had fun."

"We did…I'm just a bit tired, and then all that wine…Dazing."

"OK," she accepts my explanation and then moves forward to hug me. "Thanks again. You're a great friend, I'm lucky to have you in my life."

I nod and then with all the trouble in the world, curl my lips into a smile. "Well, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Tomorrow." Then she turns around and runs back to the car, with her family.

I open the door and see Haley sitting in the couch. She said she was going to spent the night here since one, my mom's is in Italy and so I'm all by myself for a month and two, her sister is having two friends over. "So how was it?" she asks yawning.

I sigh and let myself fall in the couch, on my stomach and face. "It was great. Great food, great company, great music…Even the cloakroom was great!"

"Yeah…I'm not seeing the link between 'tortured face' and 'great time' here. You'll have to fill me in."

"I…I'm over Brooke."

"Again,_great_."

"But I think I'm in love with Peyton."

Her jaw drops. "Oh my God! Think, or _know_?"

"The second," I whisper.

"That's HORRIBLE."

"I know…I'm a good guy right? In general?"

"Yeah…Why?"

"So why is God _punishing_ me? I mean, Hales, she will never love me back. She's in love with someone else. Worst thing is, I'm helping them get back together."

She gazes at me full of pity. "I'm sorry, Luke."

"What do I have to do now?"

"Well," she sighs "For one, stop helping her break Chris and Brooke up. Just tell Peyton what you told me, that you're over Brooke. She must understand that."

"You think?"

"No, I'm guessing but I do know this is what you _should_ do."

"Yeah, you're right," I sigh. "Tomorrow I'll tell her I'm not interested in the plan anymore."

"Good."

x

So the next morning I just go to school as always but notice mine and Peyton's classes don't correspond with each other this forenoon so I decide to approach her during lunch. Now that I have admitted I'm in love with her I can't stop thinking about her. Our history teacher just devoted fifty minutes intensely talking about the Cold War and instead of listening I just thought about her eyes, her hair, and her legs. I've never fallen this hard, not even with Brooke and to tell the truth, it scares me.

That's why I need to back out. It's not only because I otherwise am forced to reunite Chris and Peyton but also because the intensity of my feelings for her creeps me out; I'm not sure how to deal with them and maybe spending less time with her is the answer. Perhaps it will make this aching feeling go away. Walking through the corridor in deep thought, I don't notice the blond I'm pondering about racing towards me until she launches herself into my arms.

"Peyton, what's going on?" I ask as she pulls back and starts to jump up and down.

"They broke up!" she cries happily. "Chris and Brooke! They finally broke up! Isn't that great?"

I am completely speechless. Immediately I realize it's only a matter of time now before she gets back together with Chris. I've seen the way he looks at her, he still loves her. Seeing her bright face, I smile, yet very weakly. "Yeah…It's amazing."

* * *

So I know it's kind of one-sided still but it was also like that the first couple of episodes of S1. But no need to worry, next chapters I will concentrate on Peyton's (developing) feelings more too. Anyways, tell me what you think!


	7. Chapter 7

Thanks for the reviews, guys. :)

* * *

Chapter 7

Ever since I admitted I'm in love with Peyton, I've been uncomfortable around her. For days now I've hardly spoken to her and when she touches me, even accidentally, I hastily pull away. However, right now, looking down at her I can't help but smile. Peyton –otherwise reserved- is now walking around almost puffing in excitement. Why? Well, our little Tree Hill museum has managed to get a range of Dutch paintings to exhibit, upon which both our esthetics teacher and Peyton squealed in delight. Hardly a day later Mr. Gilbert had booked us a tour and so here we are. Our guide is a handsome man, a fact that even I –as a male- can't deny and that's the only reason the girls are attentive. They asked him how old he was – it turned out he was merely twenty and so an intern- upon which they almost began jumping up and down. He was young so there could be a chance to hook up with this green-eyed, black-haired god. Peyton is different. She actually cares about the art.

Currently we're standing in front of a painting with a bunch of ugly faces on it. "So, anyone knows who painted this?"

Peyton raises her hand, happy like a child in a candy store. I crack another smile but it's quickly wiped away when I lock eyes with Chris, who's also taking notion of her and her excitement. _Damn it_. It's awful, this feeling of jealousy. I'm not like that. I just don't really know what's happening to me or what I should do with this? Forget? Believe me, I've tried but then she touches my arm or smiles at me and I forget to forget.

"Jheronimus Bosch," she answers and gets an impressed nod from the guide, whose name is Gabriel by the way. It's been like this all visit: Peyton answering his question upon which he gives her bright smiles. I'm not liking this to be honest and I notice Chris doesn't either.

"It isn't fair," I hear Rachel whisper enviously. "She gets all the guys. What does she have that I don't?"

"Brains beside the beauty," Haley answers dryly. "And what are you complaining? I've seen at least ten guys hitting a pole 'cause they couldn't keep their eyes off you."

"But I didn't want those, I want _this_ one."

"Can you tell me something about the figures?" Gabriel asks.

"The figures are jammed into a small space, leaving almost no room between them. All faces are caricatures except for two: the face of Jesus bearing the cross, and that of Veronica. She holds a towel with an imprint of the face that she has just dried," Peyton quickly responds.

Gabriel now looks at her as if he's asking himself: where have you been all my life? A bunch of compliments spill from his lips before we go further to the next painting. One painting by one, we finish our tour: the girls off our class-and the boys- sleepwalking, with only Peyton still smiling contently. We thank Gabriel for hitting on Pey- sorry, for showing us the wonderful art and then, he says his goodbye. However, beside that Gabriel proceeds to shake Peyton's hand. Only hers. As he lets go, she looks down surprised and he blinks an eye at her.

"What's that?" I ask and hear an echo. Also looking down at her hand are Rachel and Chris.

"Nothing," she answers putting the paper in her pocket.

"Step back from the blond," Haley whispers in my ear, tugging my shirt. "You don't want to get hurt."

I listen and step back. She's indeed in love with Chris. I'm just a means to an end –turned a friend- she slept with in a weak moment. He's the guy she moved for, who made her think of a bunch of inventive, sneaky plans and who she considers to be the love of her life. I swallow thickly seeing them banter. They really seem happy around each other. That is, until Brooke shows her face. Chris' stare lingers on her too long, which makes Peyton sigh and turn around to follow Rachel. I don't think the guy really knows what he wants. It's clear he's interested in Peyton but at the same time it seems he's not over Brooke and still loves her.

Thirty minutes later we're in the cafeteria eating our lunch. There's a tension which everyone is aware of. I don't feel one-hundred percent at ease with Peyton, Haley notices that and so acts also a bit off around her and now also _Rachel_ seems to have a problem. However, Peyton only picks up the strange vibe Rachel is sending off.

"Rach, what's up?" she asks lowering her sandwich. "You haven't said a word to me ever since the tour started."

"Nothing," she snaps.

"She's jealous of you," Haley answers indifferently.

"Jealous?" Peyton lets out surprised. "Why?"

"Because you attract flies like syrup. Or at least the guys she wants."

"Will you shut up?" Rachel bites at Haley. "What are you doing here anyway?"

"I'm Lucas' best friend!"

"Whatever."

"You're delusional," Peyton waves the comments away.

"Really?" Rachel asks. "Not from where I'm standing. I like Nathan, he likes you. I'd tried with all my might to get the nerd here in bed last year; you just have to snap your fi-"

I bow my head red as a tomato as Peyton cries out 'Rachel' indignant.

"And now this one," she continues imperturbable.

"You want his number?" Peyton asks heated, her hand plunging into her bag pack.

Rachel is starting to boil over and begins to hiss 'no'. When Peyton doesn't listen, she raises her voice. "NO, I do NOT want his number!"

A few people turn their heads our table's way and I feel like sinking ten feet into the floor.

"It's not my fault!" Peyton cries.

An awkward yet short silence rushes in before Rachel breaks it, her eye lids narrowed so that you can only see a split of her brown eyes. "What are you saying?"

"Nothing," she answers looking away.

"Yes, you d-"

"It's the way you profile yourself," Peyton quickly answers. Rachel holds her tongue, curious to what her friend has to say. "I…I'm not saying you don't have the right, 'cause you do but wearing these short skirts and tight tops makes guys think your only good for sex. Which isn't true, off course but that's how guys think. If you'd just show the world what you're showing me, what kind of an intelligent, nice and loyal girl you are, the reactions you'd get would be different too. You don't even have to change clothes for that, just be more like the Rachel I know and love instead of some caricature."

Rachel looks down. I think Peyton hit a nerve. She only looks up when Peyton puts her hand over hers. "You're right," she answers and then frowns. "I'm sorry I was such a jealous bitch. I don't know what came over me…It's sometimes frustrating that I, you know, never get what I want."

"It's OK," Peyton smiles. "I'm one too." They smile at each other and then Peyton throws the number on the table. "Here you got his number anyway."

Rachel takes it off the table and puts it in her pocket.

* * *

Haley looks back and forward between us with a kinked eyebrow. I actually feel kind of proud of my relationship with Rachel. I never had many female friends and to have one to talk to so openly feels good. I look to my side at Lucas who has been awfully quiet to me all day. All week, really. Now he just has his eyes fixed on his lap, sunk in thoughts. I raise my hand and shortly touch his hair. He jumps up and gazes at me strangely. 

"Thinking about Brooke?" I ask.

He doesn't say a thing but just nods.

"We're almost there," I reassure him.

Haley, annoyed for whatever reason, rises from her chair and announces she's going to buy dessert. As I keep my eyes rested on Lucas, I suddenly sense this heavy feeling coming over me. Indeed we're almost there. I know Chris, and I remember how he was before we got together. It's the same as now. Brooke will soon be off his mind. I'm just now thinking that if it is so and we're almost there, I and Lucas aren't going to spend much time together anymore. It's an unpleasant thought, and makes me feel like I miss him already. Strange, I know. In the spur of the moment, I ask him:

"Do you want to do something tonight?"

Rachel stops eating and gazes at me with an obvious what-the-hell look. I ignore it. Nothing 'what the hell'. He's a friend who I'll probably see a lot less soon and that's why I want to spend more time with him now. It's just logic. Right? Huh…I don't have to ask 'right'. It's normal. Just…_Normal_.

In his eyes I see it is almost as if something is holding him back to say 'yes', yet also 'no' if I'm making any sense. It's like he doesn't know what the right answer is. "Sure," he then lets out. "Oh, no wait…There's a karaoke night at my mom's café tonight."

"And?"

"Any idea how popular those are? I have to be there."

He seems relieved. Relieved that he doesn't have to spend any time with me. I'm not amused. First the day-long silence and now this. If he doesn't enjoy my company anymore he doesn't have to lie; he can just say it and I would accept it. Well, in the first place I'd snap at him and _then_ I'd accept it. Now, however, I just want to bug him for not telling me the truth. I'll follow him like a shadow. An annoying, talking shadow.

"I love karaoke!" I cry out. Lie. Karaoke equals torture. "I'll be there."

* * *

When Chris shuffles besides Haley to get himself a chocolate mousse, she turns her head away from him. She doesn't like this guy one bit though she really doesn't know him. Maybe she just hates how Peyton goes on and on about him in front of Lucas but either way, Chris isn't someone she enjoys to be near with. 

"Hey," he then greets her.

Without giving him a look, Haley answers: "Hey."

Being bold as he is, Chris immediately comes to the point. "What's going on between Lucas and Peyton?"

Haley frowns confused at him upon which he grabs her by her arm and pulls her out of the cafeteria, behind a corner. "Let me go," she hisses at him while slapping his arm hard.

"Wow, you're a little firecracker, aren't you? Who would've thought?"

"Shut up, jerk. Why did you bring me here?"

"You've been seeing a lot of Peyton lately."

"So?"

"So I don't think that's normal."

"What?"

"I mean that the only reason you and Peyton have been spending time together is because you're Lucas friend which means he must be spending even more time with her."

"Again: so?"

"So…I don't like it."

"What don't you like? They're friends, they spend time together."

"Friends my ass."

This comment awakes her curiosity. "What do you mean? You think there's something more from his- huh, their part?"

He bites his upper lip in frustration. "Maybe, I don't know. With her I do. I know how Peyton acts when she's falling in love. You know she said for months she wasn't into me? But people could see she _was_. Everyone, except for her. It takes her a while to realize." He pauses a couple of moments. "So I've got to stop it while I can," he then says determined.

"Do you still love Brooke?"

"What?"

"You heard me."

"Does it matter?"

"Yes, I think it does."

He sighs. "Yes, I love Brooke. But, I love Peyton too and I and Brooke lately had so many problems and arguments, you just have to draw your conclusions."

Inside Haley rolls her eyes. If only he knew where those problems and arguments suddenly came from. However, she says nothing and just nods.

"Me and Peyton fought too, but never about trust," he continues spilling his heart out. Off course he's referring to Lucas and Peyton's last plan where they had put panties between his couch and Brooke had been quick to judge. "You know, we were just good together, better than me and Brooke."

Haley is now literally biting her tongue desperate not to spill anything. It sounds like Chris loves Peyton and Brooke but if it hadn't been for all the scheming, he would've tried to get over Peyton and would've stayed with Brooke. Then Lucas could've pursued Peyton who –according to Chris- is falling in love. Yet she has to keep her mouth shut 'cause spilling secrets equals angry Chris which equals angry Peyton which equals angry Lucas. She doesn't want to be the cause of so many angry people.

"Anyways," Chris changes the subject. "I'm going to the bathroom."

"Good to know," Haley answers. As he walks away, she smiles and calls his name.

"Yes?"

"When you get there, you will see a sign that says 'Gentlemen'. Pay no heed to it. Go right on in."

Chris turns around seemingly bugged but really sarcasm and spot-on insulting remarks could never rub him the wrong way. Hence as he walks further he can't help but smile and strangely feels like he has gained some respect for what he thought was a boring geek. Maybe he'll talk to her again; it can never hurt to practice your wit.

When he returns into the cafeteria, he walks up to Peyton's table and asks her if they could talk. She nods and goes to sit with him at a separate table.

"So blondie," he begins. "I…I know I made some mistakes with you, with us, but I realize them now and I'd like for us to start over. Maybe even be more again. Well, not maybe. "

"Chris, I-"

"So do you want to do something tonight? Go somewhere?" She is slightly taken aback and so he continues. "Yeah, you know, this has to happen kind of quick 'cause with Lucas and now that horny guide…I don't want to risk having to catch you between boyfriends."

She raises her eyebrow at him. "I can't tonight. I already have plans bu-"

"With Lucas?"

"Don't say that so jealously. He's my friend. He has been there for me a hell of a lot more than you lately."

"Alright, alright," he responds aggravated. "I understand. What about this weekend then?"

"This weekend sounds great," she nods.

They share a smile and then he stands up. "OK…I guess I'll plan out all the details tonight, when I'm all alone and you're having fun with Lukey boy-"

"Chris!"

"But if you change your mind about tonight, just call me alright?"

"Alright."

As Chris leaves and I turn my head at my table, I notice Lucas isn't sitting there anymore. Scanning the place, I suddenly see him with Brooke in a corner. They seem to just be talking. However, as soon as I've established that, she leans in and kisses him. I feel a sting of jealousy and possessiveness but decide not to ponder about that too much. I should happy for him. He has Brooke. Great for him. This –what you really can't even call _jealousy_- is merely because he's kind of been the only guy in my life lately. Yes, that must be it.

x

"Hel-Oh." This isn't Lucas.

"Who are you?"

"Peyton Sawyer. You, sir?"

"I'm Keith, Lucas' uncle."

"I'm Lucas' friend."

"Oh, come on in."

"I'm here for the karaoke night but I'd thought to come a bit earlier and hang out before he has to work."

"Well, he's getting ready now but you can take a seat and wait if you want." He steps to the kitchen, asking: "Want some coffee?"

"Yes, thank you."

Ten minutes later Keith's telling me Lucas' life story – or at least, the funny parts. Except from the fact that they make me laugh, it's good to hear the love radiating from his words. Lucas is loved. He mightn't have his father but his uncle is probably the best father figure one can have: he seems kind-hearted, humorous and simply someone you can count on.

"Wait, I'm going to get my album."

I nod and smile when he comes back and starts showing me pictures of Lucas from age zero up until now.

"And here he was Dracula."

I laugh relieved. If he hadn't told me that, I would've thought Lucas had extremely crooked teeth as a child, up to the point he looked like someone with mental arrears. "That's so cute."

"So how did you and Lucas become friends?" he asks closing the album.

"Just…"

"Because, and don't get me wrong, I love Lucas like he's my own son, but he doesn't normally has a lot of contact with your kind of girls. I didn't either in high school. I think it's because we're shy…" he says thinking.

"My kind?"

"Yes, the popular pretty one," he then answers.

"How do you know I'm popular?"

"Pretty. That easy in high school if I remember correctly."

"Huh…Well, Mr. Scott-"

"Keith."

"Keith…He did date Brooke."

"Hmmm…Yes but I think that girl jumps on everything that isn't completely ugly."

My jaw drops. "Mr. Sc- Keith!"

"I know it isn't a very nice thing to say but that was my impression when those two were together. You seem to be just his friend so, I don't know, I think it is interesting. But in a good way."

"We just met at school," I nod. He's a really nice guy and we hit it off. We've really been spending a lot of time together lately."

"Lucas expanding his circle of friends is always a good thing," Keith decides. "He isn't always very sociable. He told you about Dan?"

"Yes, he did."

"Well, it's because of him, he's just very closed off sometimes. He has that fear of abandonment and it's hard for him to cope with that fear. I always have to reassure him that we-his mother and I, love him. And then he asks why and that just breaks my heart. He's such a good kid but because of…Yeah, well. He's very insecure and it doesn't help Nathan is always so horrible to him. He has always been like that you know?"

"Really?"

"Yes. From the moment Luke entered kindergarten and Nathan ripped all his drawings, took his basketballs and whatnot up until now. If it weren't for Hakey and the guys at the Rivercourt I don't know what would've become of him. In general his class never really accepted him. Not in kindergarten, elementary school or high school. It makes you wonder if we're living in the twenty-first century and not the Dark Ages, right?" He shortly laughs but seems saddened more than anything. "After all," he continues more seriously "he's a really normal kid, despite his familial situation."

"It isn't that bad anymore," I respond quietly. However, this is sad. I knew he had issues with Dan and Nathan but to constantly feel inferior is just horrible. Poor Luke. "But Dan's an ass," I reply.

"You tell me."

* * *

I step downstairs to see Peyton and Keith staring sadly at their feet. 

"What's going on here?" I ask.

Peyton looks up at me like I'm a wounded puppy, rises from our couch and walks over to me. Then she wraps her arms around me tightly and I got a feeling she and Keith had a little more than small talk just now. Noticing the displeased expression on my face, Keith looks at me so guiltily I immediately have my confirmation. The fact that I'm not always accepted because of who I am hurts Keith more than me, I think, and so he needs to let it all out sometimes. Normally he just does that with my mother but now he's shifting to a girl I'm in love with. Not cool. I love the guy like a father but he has always had this way of saying to much to the wrong persons. Not that Peyton is a wrong person, but I don't like her knowing my weaknesses. She already has enough power over me as it is.

"I'll leave you guys to it," he says and then runs off.

Pulling back, Peyton takes my head in her hands. She's driving me absolutely crazy. I wish I could scream at her to not touch me and to stay the hell away from me because it hurts to know she is head over heels in love with someone else AND talks about that so much.

"Alright, what did he tell you?" I grab her wrists and lower her hands. "Dan?"

She nods before going back to the couch and sitting down. Then she motions I should do. With mixed feelings I go sit next to her.

"I knew, but I didn't know it still affected you THAT much," she begins. I nod quickly, not wanting to get too involved in the conversation but then she grabs my hand. "It shouldn't, you know? You got a great home and people who care about you a lot like Keith, your mom, Haley, and me. I've only known you for a couple of weeks and you're now already one of the best people I've ever met."

"Peyton… "

She shuffles closer and instead of a comfort hug, like other people would do, she bows over and kisses me on the cheek. I close my eyes and suppress a desperate sight. Goodness gracious, she's making this exceptionally hard. It's like she knows and wants to torture me.

Then she pulls back and smiles at me. However, I don't smile back so she also stops, confused. "Is there something else?" she asks. I don't answer but bat my eyes down. "Hey… Is it something I did?"

"No…" I answer. _Just leave me alone. _"Peyton…I think it's better if we'd concentrate less on us as huh, friends from now on. You know, not spend so much time together."

"What?"

"It's like what you said at first: you didn't come here to make friends but now that seems to have become a priority."

She pulls back with an instant icy look in her eyes. "What are you saying? Fuck off?"

"No," I quickly say. "Peyt, I like being friends with you but-"

"But what? You'd rather not?"

I don't know what to say anymore and so just stare at her sheepishly.

She chuckles coldly. "I can't believe you. All the time I felt guilty for using you at first and now it turns out you were just using me."

"I…No!" I cry out. "It's not like that."

"No? You can go your way with Brooke now and suddenly you don't feel like being around me anymore? I don't think it could be any clearer."

"Peyt-"

"Save it," she bites. Yet in less than a second her posture changes, becomes weaker. She places her hand in front of her eyes and sighs. I think she's trying to block tears and I feel my heart break. How can I be so selfish? If I forced myself to handle this being in love thing better she wouldn't be so hurt right now.

"Don't cry," I whisper but don't even dare to touch her, which off course only enforces what she thinks: that I could care less about her now that Chris and Brooke have broken up and that I don't even bother to comfort her properly. This is such a painful situation.

"No, not over you," she then says before she stands up and looks at me with eyes filled with disappointment and anger. "I really thought you were different but you turned out to be…Just like my dad. You lied to me. You said we were friends and that those don't leave each other behind." She pauses. "Was that a trick to get some? You used me to satisfy your needs?"

"You were the one tricking me that night," I then yell, losing my temper. She has been so friendly lately I had forgotten how bitchy she can be. "What?" I continue seeing her shocked face. "Should I quote you? I believe you said something like 'I was depressed, and I needed something to make me feel good and you were there.' So you're twisting your own words here, Peyton. If anyone is the 'user' here it's you." Though I chose to believe Skills that it had just been casual sex, I knew it wasn't. I had felt connected to her then already. She's the one who doesn't give a crap about it, not me.

However, judging from the flickering in her eyes, I shouldn't have said that. "You know, Lucas?" she begins calm. "I'm going to leave now, and when I walk through that door, I want you to forget you know me, that we ever talked." She pauses for a couple of seconds. "But, then again, I guess that's what you were aiming for to begin with so I should really _congratulate_ you...You did some Oscar-worthy acting these past weeks and got what you wanted all along. Sex and now Brooke. You two are a happy, sugar sweet couple again. The rest doesn't matter, right?"

I seriously feel like grabbing her by her arms and shake some sense into her. It's like she's deaf to my rationality. I just bite my bottom lip and shake my head in disbelief, choosing not to say anything. What will it help if I blurt out I'm in love with her? Absolutely nothing. No matter what I do, this awkward tension between us won't leave until I fall out of love so maybe it's better if she believes this and is nasty to me. Maybe it'll go over then. Yet I can't help but ask:

"What do you mean? I and Brooke aren't together."

"Liar. I saw you two kiss at the cafeteria."

"That doesn't mean we're together," I respond lamely.

What happened at the cafeteria was a mistake, and I told Brooke so. Seeing Peyton and Chris talk, she got jealous, literally dragged me out of my chair into a corner and then talked about how we used to be. Before I could say that she was doing this out of spite, she kissed me. I then told her she was just seeking revenge and that whatever we once had was lost. It didn't take her long to admit after that she was indeed heartbroken because of Chris and that she was just looking for comfort. But off course, out of everything she could've seen, Peyton saw the kiss.

"Then why?" Her eyes shift over me almost panicky. I know she's expecting me to tell her I do care and that I want to be friends. That I'm not like her father and that, again, I'm not going to leave her behind but be there for her when she needs me. She tried to get a reaction earlier with her harsh words but I can't give her one, I don't want her to know.

"Just because…"

Once again with tears in her eyes, she turns around and runs off, leaving me behind as a depressed broken mess.

I bury my head in my hands and when I look up, Haley is standing in front of me. "Wow," she sighs. "I don't think you could've handled that much worse."

"What, Haley? It's not like this all would've ended differently if I had told her I'm in love with her."

"I don't know. Have you seen her? You ripped her heart out."

"I can't rip out something I can't even touch."

She sighs. "You know…According to Chris she's falling in love with you. Well, it would be 'was' now b-"

"How do you know? I mean, when did you talk to Chris?"

"This afternoon, when I was getting my pudding. He said he thought she had a thing for you and that he should prevent it before she realized it."

I groan frustrated. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I thought you guys were going to sing Paradise by the Dashboard Light tonight. Happily, friend-like…Not that you were going to diminish everything you built up with her."

"Great," I let out bugged. "Now what should I do?"

"I'd go over to her and tell her you didn't mean to go all Ali on her emotions but that you're in love with her. Even if she doesn't feel the same, she'll at least know you do care and maybe understand why you don't want to be around her twenty-four seven."

I frown at her. "How come you're so smart?"

"I'm not that smart. Just a female, you dumb guy."

x

Drowned in self-pity, I gaze at the television. I can't believe Lucas turned out to be like all the rest and more so because I told him that I have such a fear of letting people in since they always disappear with the merest bump in the road. He didn't even need a bump, just a dumb brunette. I don't care what he says. We worked for over a month to get those two apart and when we manage, I find him kissing Brooke upon which he decides we shouldn't see each other anymore. That isn't a coincidence. He was like some parasite eating away on my scheming talent until we had a breakthrough.

Anyway, I called Chris. I didn't exactly change my mind about tonight but since the night failed before it even started, I might as well use this opportunity to try and get together with him again. It's clear he wanted that this midday and I want it too. Not as much as I used to but still a lot. I was just being too much of a devoted friend lately and maybe I should be grateful to Lucas for dropping me like a ton of bricks: I can concentrate fully on Chris now again.

Hearing the doorbell, I jump up and go open. Chris doesn't know yet I like to keep the backdoor unlocked. Opening the door, I come face to face with him and smile at the familiar feeling he immediately covers me with. Safety. That's what Chris is to me. I always felt so sheltered with him during our relationship.

"Changed your mind?" he asks.

"Sort of."

He looks into my eyes and I decide to say the mini-speech I made a while ago for when I'd get him back. "I've thought about what you said earlier, about us starting over again, and I think we should. I missed you. Like, really, really bad. I missed everything about you from your arrogance to your scrawniness."

"Still romantic, I see?" he jokes.

"But you love me anyway, right?"

"Ever since I laid eyes on you."

That's what I needed to hear. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him closer.

* * *

I though when Brooke broke up with me, I'd never recover. My heart was broken and it couldn't be fixed. Well, that feeling is nothing compared with what I'm feeling now. It's like there's a dagger twisting in my heart. If only I had handled myself better earlier she wouldn't be with Chris now. She wouldn't be kissing him, taking her in her house and well…You don't have to be Einstein to know they're going to have sex. 

I… have to get back to Haley. I need to tell her what I saw and I need _her _to tell _me_ everything will be alright because I can't see how it will right now.

* * *

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo 

So I hope you guys enjoyed it and tell me what you think!


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N**: Thanks for the reviews! They're a great boost to keep writing. :)

* * *

Chapter 8 

Passing pine by pine, we reach one of the highest, most snow-covered points of North Carolina: the Sugar-Mountain. Or at least, the village laying at the foot of the mountain. When the school year started I was immediately warned we would be going on a one week sport-biology school excursion in the mountains so that I'd be sure to get the money in time. Aside from two hours of skiing a day we'll also be examining the fauna and flora in this kind of frosty climate.

"So wait…" Rachel begins confused. "You've been with Chris for three weeks now, and you haven't slept with him yet?"

Taking my skies out of the boot of the bus, I nod. "Yes."

"Huh…Why not?"

My skis suddenly fall on the ground and I swear horribly as the sharp side cuts me. "Shit." I softly suck the blood away.

When I look up, I lock eyes with Lucas who staring at me from a distance. I widen my eyes provoking so that he looks away. _Dumbass_. How he has annoyed me these last weeks. After our fight, I had expected him to try and make things better but…Nothing. And with 'nothing' I really mean 'nothing'. He seems to have forgotten I even exist. Well, apart from the staring part just now but isn't it awful? I need to almost lose my hand before he notices I actually am still alive. I must say behavior like that from his part makes me feel like I really made a difference in his life, that I was a unique chapter in it. _Not_.

"Because," I explain still pouting over my cut "I want it to be special."

"Riiiiiiiiiiiiight."

"Excuse me?"

"You guys have been a couple before," she states. "You had that 'special first time' already. Why would you want another? If you're really that in love you shouldn't be able to keep your hands off him."

"I want it to mean something!"

She shrugs. "Whatever you say…And what does Chris say to this?"

"Huh? If I say 'no' it is 'no'."

"So he isn't pissed?"

I roll my eyes. "Maybe a little."

"Thought so." She stays silent for a couple of seconds, scanning my face. "What's going on Peyton? Are you scared?"

"Of what should I be scared?" I ask as we enter the lobby. Further we look around at the white-with-wood space, pleased with what we see. This is a nice place, but it has cost us well enough. I know some people start saving for this trip already a year in advance, like Haley did. They really should come up with a way to make this excursion cheaper for people who're less fortunate than the norm. My thoughts are suddenly interrupted by Rachel's.

"You had great sex with Luc-"

"Don't say that name!"

"Djeez Peyton," she sighs rolling her eyes. "Whatever happened between the two of you, I don't think he wanted you guys to be like this. I actually think he really liked you."

"Whatever."

"Yeah…Back to the point now: you had great sex with book boy and so you're scared that when you do it with Chris now, it won't feel as good. And then you're going to worry, ask questions like 'Is Chris really the guy for me? Have all of my _cruel_ intentions been in vain?'"

"That's not true."

"Yes, it is."

"Is not."

"Is to!"

"Is not."

"Is t- Oh, God, what am I doing?" she turns her back at Peyton and walks the elevator's way. "There's no talking to you, you just think inside the box because everything _outside_ the box scares you."

"Hello?" I let out appalled. "I'm the definition of someone who lives outside the box."

"Not when it comes to your love life."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that I think you're clinging onto him just because he's Chris, because he's familiar and supposedly the only guy who can love you. You should come back to earth. There are possibilities out there. If you want Chris, that's fine but limiting yourself and your happiness to one person isn't healthy."

I hold my tongue and gaze at her sadly. "I…Something is not right," I confess.

"What isn't right?"

"I miss…"

"You miss who?" she asks impatiently. "Who do you miss? Lucas?"

"Shhhhht!" I order putting my finger in front of my lips. "Don't say that so loudly, Chris is jealous enough of him as it is."

"Really? How come?"

"Because I compare him to Luke. I mean, it's not that I'm _in love_ with him or something but…Okay," I sigh as I try to explain myself "for example last week. I and Chris were sitting in the park when this girl comes running by. She was overweight but was still wearing these spandex kind of leggings."

"Oh my God. Did you call the fashion police?"

"No, Rach, please…Can you be serious for once?"

"I'll try."

"It's about Chris…You know what he said? He said: 'oh, if that isn't a case of vain hope!' and then he laughed, and I think the girl heard it because she began to run faster and I don't know but…I got the feeling she started to tear too."

"So what are you saying?" Rachel sighs trying to catch up with my train of thoughts. "Chris isn't a nice guy? Lucas is a better one? I could've told you that without that, huh, _event_."

"No, but…" I sigh. "He has always been like that, and it never bothered me but now it does. I feel like I've changed. Or that Lucas changed my view on him because he was always so sweet and justified…Even though I found out he's a pathetic liar!" I say that last more heated again.

"Okay, one; I think you're just still feeling some anger towards Chris for dumping you for Brooke and all but it'll go over and you guys will be like before, I'm sure. And the Lucas-Chris comparison WILL stop. You just have to let go off the thought Chris is Prince Charming and the only guy in the world. Stop idealizing him. Two; go talk to Luke. He's an amazingly good, gracious, gold-hearted guy. I mean…I put up with your nagging about his so called awful behavior for three weeks now while I didn't even believe all the stuff you said."

"WHAT?"

"Lucas isn't malicious, and you depicted him like that."

_Damn it. _I know she's right. I've just been to stubborn to admit I was in the wrong biting his head off and further letting our argument drag on. We didn't speak to each other three whole weeks because I felt too proud to tell him I was sorry for what happened.

"He used me," I offer weakly. I can't help it: admitting you were mistaken is hard!

"I refuse to believe that. Just go talk to him."

"I-"

"Go talk to him."

"R-"

"Go talk to h-"

"Oh, alright!"

x

"Skills…You're seriously not going to wear that right?" I ask startled upon seeing his orange fluorescent ski goggles.

"Why not? Dawg at the store said this is the shiz." He checks himself out in the mirror and lets his hands slide over his ski jacket proudly.

"You look like a bug," I chuckle.

"A fine bug?"

"No, a ridiculous one."

"D- Blondie."

"Is that my new nickname?"

He turns around and points at the door. "No, the curly sexbomb."

I turn my head and lock eyes with Peyton, who bows her head embarrassed.

"Hey," she timidly greets. "Huh, Skills…Could you please-"

"Sure." He walks to the door but then looks over his shoulder shortly. "Hey, Peyton…How do I look?"

"Like a bug."

He shakes his head sighing and then leaves the room.

The expression Peyton has on her face looking into my eyes reassures me: she isn't here to give snappy remarks or bite my head off but to –judging from her posture- make things right. It's time for it, you know? I've understood these past weeks that seeing her is uncomfortable and awkward and even painful, but when I not see her, I just don't really feel passion anymore. Passion for living I mean. Everything is just so bland without her. However, knowing who she is and what she can be like, I haven't dared to approach her, I'm glad she's making the first move.

She hesitantly walks over to my bed and goes to sit down on it. Looking up at me visibly feeling awkward, she pats the mattress, indicating I should join her. I do so and keep well enough distance, but not too much so that we wouldn't have a repeat of our last argument. She gives me a cursory glance but then fixes her eyes on her lap again. It seems she doesn't know what to say.

"How are things with Chris?" I ask to get the conversation going. I honestly have no idea how they are doing. I only know they're together but that they haven't had sex yet. I know that from Haley who just came telling it to me earlier after Rachel had told _her_. Though it _will_ probably happen somewhere down the road, I still felt glad hearing it.

"Good," she nods. She doesn't sound very enthusiastic but I decide not to ask further. I don't get the feeling she's here to talk about him anyway.

Another silence rushes in before she breaks it. "I'm sorry, Luke," she whispers. "I'm sorry for being such a pig-headed brat. I don't know what was going on with you three weeks ago but I should've known it wasn't about you being a bad or untrue friend."

I smile as she stares at me uncertainly and quite vulnerable. "It's OK," I reply. "And I'm sorry too."

"Uhm….Care to tell me what _was_ on your mind then?"

_The same as now_, I think. "It was nothing," I shake my head. "I just had a fight with, huh, Mouth, but everything's OK now."

"Djeez, so we didn't talk three weeks 'cause you and Mouth had a fight?"

"No, we didn't talk three weeks because I was scared to get near to someone whose attitude reminded me of Darth Vader."

She taps my arm yet smiling. Then she bites her bottom lip and sticks out her hand. "Friends?"

I look down at it with mixed feelings. However, since I can't say 'no, because I want us to be together and camping in bed in love', I nod and shake her hand. "Friends."

x

It's our first evening at the hotel and I want to look pretty. Stupid, I know. After all this is just a school excursion, but when my dad takes me to the Alps, once a year, I always dress up for dinner, so I do it here too, out of habit more so than anything. Eventually I opt for a quite casual black sweater dress and matching black boots so that I'm not completely overdressed compared to the others.

Suddenly Rachel walks in and immediately starts scanning the floor.

"What's wrong?" I ask. "Did you lose something?"

"No, I'm looking for the flies you killed with your perfume."

I roll my eyes turning around. "Shut up. It's new. My dad saw it on one of those shopping shows when he was in Stockholm or something and, you know, he bought it for me because the TV lady said it was the best."

"Maybe in smaller doses…"

"What-_ever_."

Suddenly I hear my cell phone buzz and refrain from looking in the mirror. Picking up, I hear a female voice who announces she's from Thud magazine. With each word she says, I grow more and more surprised and excited. I …won. I won their competition! I'm going to be _published_ and even more: if I want, I can make a weekly comic, about whichever subject I please.

After the call I'm over the moon. There's only one thing I can think about and that is find Lucas. He's the one who entered my drawings and even though I was bugged by it at first, getting recognized like this is amazing. I want him to be the first one I tell so I run out of my room and go to the boys' wing. Arriving in Lucas room, I jump on his bed happily. He looks up from his book in utter surprise and straightens his body.

* * *

I don't know exactly what's happening as an overjoyed Peyton hops onto my bed. Before I have the chance to ask why she's so ecstatic, she throws her arms around her neck.

"Wow, what's going on?" I then ask as she lets me go.

She begins talking about her drawings and Thud magazine until finally she's concludes: "…and if it weren't for you, none of this would've happened. So… Thank you."

She again hugs me and I now return it fully aware of what's going on. This friends thing is really hard, though. I just want to grab her and…and… She pulls back and smiles at me. Without thinking even the slightest bit, I cup her cheek. She gazes at me confused. "Luke, I-"

Before she has the chance to say more, I bow over and kiss her softly but tensed as I do so. This could turn out embarrassing. However, after a couple of seconds I realize she we are actually kissing a couple of seconds already. She isn't pulling back. Eventually I do, but only briefly to get some air and then quickly capture her lips again. I'm not stopping this. I'd be crazy to.

* * *

Help! What is this? And why can't I stop? Lucas wraps his right arm around my waist tightly and pulls me closer. What started off as a rather soft peck turns into a deep kiss. He buries his hand in my hair and crashes his mouth into mine over and over again, his kisses growing more heated with each one. Because that's what happens when a girl doesn't slap or run away. However, I can't help but return his touches. It just feels so amazing. His kisses make me forget there's a world out there, other people, and I get caught up in them more and more.

Suddenly I realize there are tongues involved and he has actually already laid me down, his hands stroking my legs. He sure loves them. When we were making lov- _having sex_, he couldn't keep his hands of them either. Not that he didn't give other parts of my body attention, but especially my legs seemed to turn him on.

"Stop," I manage to order in a breathless plea.

Off course he doesn't listen, who would? I think for your order to have some kind of strength it's better you don't sound completely aroused. Still I keep repeating my order between kisses. After about twenty stops, he listens but for some reason I can't explain, I grab his head and kiss him hard, deeply. Moaning into my mouth, he now covers his body with mine. Instinctively I lay my hand on the back of his head, kissing him rather languidly than fast. My hand slides to his back and pushes slightly so that his stomach touches mine.

He pulls back briefly and smiles before shifting his lips to my neck, softly sucking my skin there. I close my eyes enjoying the feeling. I grab a hold of his hair and arch my back. He also adjusts his body and creeps between my legs, pulling my upper body up and dropping kiss near my ear before gradually lowering his lips to my collarbones. I look down, seeing his mouth near my breasts and feeling one of his hands slide under my dress, and at that very moment it hits me that I'm in a compromising position to say the least.

I have a boyfriend, yet I'm letting Lucas have his way with me. This is horrible! I'm horrible! Thinking deeper and deeper about the levels of wrong I'm crossing, I get panicky.

"Stop stop stop!" I cry loudly and push him off me before I half-hysterically run out of the room.

Oh, no, what just happened? What have I just done? This isn't good. Looking wild -mental person-like wild- I run through the halls trying to give this a place. Eventually I find the toilets and lock myself up in one, not sure what's that going to solve but I have to be alone for a bit to figure out... Why…Why did he kiss me? And why did I kiss back? What if Chris finds out? What if _anyone_ finds out? I…can't…breathe.

x

Rachel slowly runs her finger over the rim of her glass as she waits for Peyton at the dinner table. Looking at her left she locks eyes with Chris. He has asked her about twenty times now if she really has no idea whatsoever where Peyton is. Every time the redhead just shakes her head 'no'. Inside, she's also getting pretty pissed. Where the hell is she? Since she ran away without an explanation thirty minutes ago she hasn't seen her. The main dish should come in a minute so the teachers should begin asking questions soon. She'd better get her ass here. Suddenly something excites her sense of smell as it recognizes a scent. Peyton's perfume. However, looking up she doesn't see Peyton, but Lucas who shyly sits himself down on his chair, opposite her and next to Haley.

Chris lightens him with his eyes. It's his fault Peyton is so much more criticizing concerning him and his personality. Before she met him, she thought he was some kind of hero. Lucas has reduced him to a mortal in her eyes, Why-oh why did Peyton make up with him? Now he has to endure hearing him talk and just _be_. He turns his head away from Lucas and addresses Jerry, a dim rugby player. Hell, everything is better than looking at Lucas' face.

"Luke," Haley smiles. "What do you got there?" Looking closer, she notices a smudge of light-red lipstick. "Is…" she begins taken aback "anything you'd like to tell me?"

At that moment Peyton walks in and avoids looking at Lucas at all costs. Rachel shakes her head, fitting the pieces of the puzzle at once. Those two little sneaky blondes. She wonders how Peyton is going to talk her way out of this. Maybe she'll say something like: 'deep lows and high peeks make me horny and so I jump on the first guy I find, which happened to be Lucas both times.'

Silently Peyton takes a seat between Chris and Rachel. Haley and Rachel lock eyes, both knowing why there's a tension hanging in the air that could be cut with a knife.

"Babe, where were you so long?" Chris asks slipping his arm around her waist.

Peyton looks like she's about to cry tears of guilt but holds it together. "The bathroom. I wasn't feeling very well."

Lucas keeps his stare fixed on his plate, feeling jealous and incredibly uncomfortable. What happened earlier should've been a breakthrough, but somehow it doesn't feel like that at all. It didn't give him any concrete answers. Sure, she might be physically attracted to him but what if that is all? _Is_ that all? Judging from the fact that she's ignoring him stiff-necked right now, he won't find out soon.

Rest of the dinner is quite similar: an awkward tension, Chris holding Peyton closely to him and looking at Lucas with squinted and annoyed eyes while Lucas in response looks away, clenching his jaw ever more irritated than Chris. Only Rachel and Haley talk and dare to look at each other.

x

My eyes are swollen beyond belief as Rachel pats my back caring. "Come on Peyton…Stop crying. You're not Hitler or something."

"I…I…I'm worse!"

She sighs. "Alright…Just calm down and tell me what exactly happened."

I remove myself from her arms and gaze up into her eyes. "Well, I just got the news my drawings were being published and I was so happy and…Since Lucas entered them I wanted to go thank him."

"And you sure did."

In utter guilt, I bring my handkerchief to my face and start to snivel again.

"Peyton…" Rachel groans "I didn't mean it like that."

"Rachel," I sigh out. "He kissed me and I just let him…" I sniff some more. "…like some cheap slut!"

"But you didn't do more, right?"

"What?" I cry out appalled. "Off course not! Isn't this enough?"

"It definitely is…You do know he's in love with you, right?"

"What?"

"Come on, don't' be so naïve…Your fight, what do you think it was about?"

"I was trying to comfort him but pulled away when I… touched…him…" I groan as it dawns on me that he wasn't pulling back because of an argument with Mouth, but because of…whatever he feels for me. "Oh no! You're right! This is awful!"

"OK," she nods. I look up at her once again, my eyes filled with tears. "Peyton…This doesn't make you a monster but I just want to ask you this: I…understand why Lucas did it, kiss you, after all he's in love but …Why did _you_? Why did you kiss back?"

"I don't know," I shake my head. "That's just how it went."

"How? He had glue on his lips? Why didn't you just leave?"

"We were on his bed," I quietly admit. "And before I realized what was happening, he was sort of laying on top of me."

Her eyes widen. "So you kissed, laying down on his bed. For how long?"

"A minute or three."

"Peyton!"

"I knoooooow."

She sighs not knowing what to make of all of this. "So…How did it stop?"

"Well, he began" I stop and bite my bottom lip feeling heavily burdened emotionally. "he began kissing my neck, and lower…And lower…Oh I'm so evil!"

"And then?"

"And then I pushed him off me and ran out of his room like a crazy woman. After I locked myself in the toilets to calm down and then I went to eat."

She nods and we fall in a silence.

"Peyton," she then breaks it. "Do you have feelings for Lucas?"

I turn my head and think. "No…" I then decide. "I can't."

"Why not?'

"Because I just can't," I shrug. "I love Chris, he loves me. Lucas is just…Lust." I let out a relieved sigh. That could be indeed why I kissed back. Lust. God help me if I'd be in _love_. That'd mean I ruined a relationship for nothing. Besides, Lucas may be into me now but how long will it last? Look at Chris, he still loves me after a year, I don't think Lucas could do that. He'd get fed up with me for sure.

"Are you certain?"

"Yeah…" I silently reply.

"So what makes you so sure you won't jump on him again?"

"I'm simply going to give him the cold shoulder from now on. Because…You know, what happened just made me feel so bad. I don't want to be that kind of person, a cheater. So something like this cannot happen again. Ever."

x

"Peyton, we've got to talk," I suddenly hear Lucas whisper in my ear.

Instead of responding, I get front in line and go sit on the ski lift. It's not very nice I know but I'm scared. What if Rachel's doubts are justified and I'll drag him into the bushes to make out or something? I've cheated once, I can't do it again under any circumstances and how awful it may sound, I don't think I can control myself around Lucas. Hormones. I need to have sex with Chris ASAP. It could blow over then.

Sliding off the lift, I meet up with the rest of the class and Chris. A lot of my class mates are having trouble with their skiing. In other words: they haven't skied ever before in their lives and so fall on their asses every other second. As a quite experienced skier this aggravates me but I sooth myself with the thought that after this observation day, we'll be divided in groups fitting our skills.

I see Lucas going off the lift too and shuffle closer to Chris, softly taking the collar his ski jacket between my fingers. I've been following him dog-like ever since I woke up this morning, determined to make our relationship work and not kiss other guys. I can't let this slip away; I've worked too hard for it.

As Lucas comes closer to Haley, who is standing behind me, I grab Chris' face and kiss him. I need to make clear what happened yesterday can't ever happen again and that he shouldn't think I like him in the way he –according to Rachel- likes me. While I'm kissing I Chris I almost frown. It just…doesn't feel like it used to three months ago. It makes me feel almost desperate. What do I have to do to have this relationship be like it was before Brooke? Before _Lucas_?

"What was that for?" he asks as I pull back.

I plaster on as bright a smile as I can and answer: "I'm just happy."

* * *

She is…driving me up the wall. What the hell? She kissed me back and now it's like I've assaulted her or something with the blind ignoring and now kissing Chris right in front of my nose. I know she has a boyfriend well enough; I don't need her to flaunt it like that.

"Lucas…" Haley addresses me, rubbing my back. "She's just confused."

"You're being the Devil's Advocate or what?"

"No! But it's like you said…Chris was Peyton's first boyfriend. She has only had one guy and seeing she has such a closed personality she has trouble letting another love in, forgetting the past."

"I've always been good to her."

"I know. But it isn't about that. Peyton…I don't think she understands another person aside from Chris can love her. You know it yourself: every time she talks about Chris she talks about him like he's the only boy on earth, because he has been the only constant factor in her life. She wants to believe he's Prince Charming so badly she even moved for him. You don't just get over someone who has been that significant in your life."

"When is she going to forget?" I ask.

I know it's silly but I can't help but keep hoping, especially after last night. I wasn't the only one doing the action. I kissed her, she kissed back; I layed her down, she held me closer. What I want now is to talk to her. She can only keep saying what happens between us means nothing for so long. I know what we have does mean something Plus, like Chris said, it takes her a while to understand she's falling in love. It's just so exasperating _he_ is making it so much harder than it already is.

"I don't know," Haley admits.

Looking troubled, I slide forward on my skies, which I can't really control all that good. I've only went skiing once, when I was seven so needless to say I'm doing a bad job. Peyton is good at it. So is Chris. However, luckily most of the class sucks so that makes me look a bit better.

"Peyton!" the teacher cries. "Can you go last, please? Chris, you in front?"

See? They're the best so they have to see we clumsy ski-nitwits can keep up. They split up and Peyton steps alongside me, not even giving me a look as I do gaze at her sadly. I'm not happy. I want to tell her to get a clue, that Chris isn't good for her and that we together would be just… great. And while she mightn't want to be involved emotionally I can feel her want. I mean, I'm not trying to sound arrogant but I could read it from her touches. We'd be hot together. I know that isn't really _deep_ but we have had really, incredibly good, mind-blowing sex, and then yesterday those kisses…She can deny a lot but not that she isn't attracted to me physically.

However, she's so incredibly stubborn. Indeed locking her up in my room would be the only way to talk to her now. It's so aggravating. With those thoughts on my mind, I glide down-hill.

* * *

Mediocre, mediocre, alright, really good, mediocre, o-ow! This is just great. I try to ignore him and then he has to make this strange maneuver. What did he do? I race after him as he flies straight into the trees and see he must've tripped over one of the chunks of ice in the surface. As I follow him into the bushes, I notice he has lost his skis, ski goggle, sticks and even his hat and scarf.

"Luke?" I cry as I take my skis off. I won't reach him with them attached to my boots. "Where are you?" I ask.

He doesn't answer but suddenly I see him laying down, his chest going up and down heavily. Panicky I run of the little snow hill and fall down next to him. Straightening my body, I slide my hands over him. "Are you in pain?"

He tries to talk, but fails and keeps doing this weird breathing thing. I'm seriously freaking out here. "Luke!" I look around me and then cry loudly: "HELP!" I cup one of his cheeks –my other hand is resting on his chest softly- and ask him what's wrong. He swallows thickly as I get more and more afraid. What the hell is going on with him? This is obviously not a sprained foot.

With a lot of trouble, he lays his hand over mine on his chest. Then he says something yet so quietly I don't hear. But somehow I get it. "Your heart?" I ask. He seems relieved that I understand. "It's your heart…" I run my hand through my hair and nod nervously. "Okay, hold on…Everything will be alright," I say although I have no idea if it will.

As I see Oliver coming down I yell at him to get medical help because Lucas is having a heart attack. He runs back up and passes through my order. Looking back, I notice he's losing conscience and can't help but start whimpering. Is he dying? People die of heart attacks, my aunt did. I don't want to lose him. I'll never be mean to him again, I won't ignore him anymore; I just want to keep him.

"No, no…" I mumble to myself. He's unconscious now and I just grab him and shake, not that it helps. I don't even know if I can and so I stop. Feeling tears run over my cheek I instead hold his head in my hands and connect our foreheads, our noses.

* * *

Everyone's is packing together in curiosity and worry. What's happening? Why have the paramedics been called?

"Screw it," Haley says. "I'm going up."

"Miss James-"

"You can threaten me all you want, Mr. Taylor, but he's my friend, so I'm going."

With her, a bunch of other people goes to the spot where you can look into the depth Lucas fell into. Chris and Rachel have made their way to the head of the pack and squint their eyes as they scan the snow. Finally they, together with Haley, see Lucas and Peyton. He isn't moving and she's just hanging over him. What's happening is horrible, but as Peyton bows over and kisses his cheeks a couple of times, almost desperately, Rachel can't help but stare at _Chris_ who's stepping back in envy.

Minutes later, Lucas is taken away by an ambulance that specially serves for driving in the snow. Exhausted, Peyton climbs her way up. Her face looks red and she's on the verge of crying. Searching for comfort, she walks over to Chris, but he turns around and walks away before she has the chance to reach him.

Confused, lost and hurting, she buries her face in her hands and breaks out in sobs. Feeling Rachel's arm suddenly rest on her makes her feel safer, but the pain and guilt doesn't want to go away. She's just making a mess out of her life, out of Chris' life, and out of Lucas. But she can't beat herself up right now; she has to go to the hospital and see if Lucas' is alright. He has to be, or she won't ever forgive herself.

* * *

oooooooooooooooo

Tell me what you think!


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N** - Thanks for the reviews, I really appreciate them and sorry for the three-day delay. Anyway, enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 9

"He is IN a coma!" I cannot believe this! Lucas is at the hospital, unconscious and in pain, and here Chris is forbidding me to go see him! Who the hell does he think he is?

"Do you see anyone else going?" he asks furiously. "Huh? I mean, Brooke isn't going and she was his girlfriend for a year."

"She's too busy screwing Nathan." Not long after I and Chris got together, Brooke and Nathan started to date. I think they're a good match, both promiscuous and arrogant.

"Well why aren't _you_ busy then? _I_'m here."

"Oh my God," I gasp out. "You did not just say that."

"You don't even have permission," he changes the subject.

Yes, because I'm really going to be punished for going to see a comatose friend. "Whatever, Chris," I say now calmly as I put my jacket on. I don't have time for this. With all the fighting we've been doing I could've been there twenty minutes ago. "I'm going."

"Then I'm coming with you," he replies determined.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me."

I stare at him confused for a couple of second without saying a word. "Fine," I then let out. "Come if you want, I don't care, but could we please go then?" I begin marching towards the door with Chris behind me. "Oh, and may he wake up, be sure you aren't in his room."

"Why not?"

"It'd be hypocrite to say the least since you hate his guts."

I can hear him mumble 'can't argue with that' but choose to ignore it because…The feeling of detestation he has towards me and Lucas being together in a room, being together _anywhere_, is justified. Last time we were together alone he was on top of my within seconds and somewhere I sense Chris knows something happened between us. However, something like that won't happen ever again. I'm not a cheater. Well…I'm not _normally_ a cheater but Lucas has a way of making me forget everything around me. Yet all this complicated love stuff is the last thing on my mind right now. All I can think about is how horrible I have been to him yesterday and today and I just hope I can make it right.

x

"Here?" I ask Haley. She nods and I open the door to see Lucas laying in one of the whitest beds I have ever seen. Entering the room I notice Chris taking a step forward too and turn around. "Remember what I said?"

He grumbles something and considerate as she is, Haley decides to help us out. "Chris, you know, I'm SUPERhungry, I've been here whole afternoon so what about you come eat something with me? I'd really appreciate it." Chris sighs but does agree and the two of them disappear towards the elevator.

I step further somewhat uncomfortable and then go to sit at Lucas' beside. Without thinking much about it, I take his hand and think of some words to say. That's what people do when their visiting an unconscious person, right? I saw it in the movies and it actually does feel suited to say something to break this silence.

"Hey…Um…Well this is kind of awkward." I sigh. "I guess I just wanted you to know you've done so much for me. When I first met you, I saw you as a tool to get what I wanted. I know it's not very honorable but coming here, take what belonged to me, I believed that was my fate. You changed that. You…" I suddenly reflect over what I just said and if I should continue. I decide to do so because somehow I feel like I'm being true to myself. Besides, he can't hear me anyway. "You made me see that things could be different. I mean, I have quite a few regrets but one of the biggest ones is that I didn't meet you sooner." I pause. "Then again, everything that happened to you, every person that contributed to your life before me has made you the wonderful person you are now. So…I'm really sorry Luke. I know I've been awful but still I need you to come back to me."

I gaze down at him, at his still features and furrow my brows. Letting his hand go, I reach for my I-pod and softly put the put the earbuds in his ear. "Preferably something soothing I can imagine?" I scroll long through my billions of punk, emo and rock songs until I finally see Stand by Me. Fitting. I lean back and just watch him lay until that gets boring. Slowly I bow over and let my finger slide over the crack in his nose. I've truly never seen something like that before, it's so intriguing.

"Hey," I suddenly hear and quickly pull my hand back. Looking over my shoulder and see his uncle Keith grinning at me. My cheeks were never redder, I can imagine. "I had just gone to call his mother," he informs me and luckily doesn't ask why I was touching his nephew's nose all over. "She just caught her plane back."

"Oh…That's huh, great. Eh, I...I hope this is OK," I stutter pointing at the I-pod.

"Sure," he nods.

I look down briefly before staring up in his eyes. "So how is he?"

x

"He has got a heart disease," Haley answers. Right now her and Chris are sitting in the corridor. They left the cafeteria about fifteen minutes ago, after their little cake and three cups of coffee to satisfy Haley's caffeine addiction. "HCM. He forgot to take his meds again. Seriously, if I or his mother doesn't remind him of it, you can be sure he doesn't take them, the dumbass. And then he has a heart attack and leaves all of us in complete panic and worry."

"That's…not good."

"It isn't," she confirms. "But the doctors said he's supposed to wake up soon. That's why I figured it's alright to already start practicing my lecture. I've counted in my head and it should contain the word 'dumbass' nineteen times."

"That's…good."

"You're being very eloquent," Haley sarcastically replies.

"I'm sorry," Chris sighs. "I know he's in a coma and all but that doesn't mean I suddenly consider him to be my best friend forever."

"Then why are you here? To keep an eye on Peyton?"

He shrugs. That's exactly what he is here for. His guts just tell him that whatever is standing between him and Peyton, the distance he feels between them, is a direct consequence of Lucas. Even though he can't stand the guy, he does feel sorry for him somewhere understanding what he had to go through with Brooke: feeling not good enough and plain inferior.

"She's in love with him, right? Like really in love?"

Sighing yet tired of always denying to everyone who asks her 'is something going on between Peyton and Lucas?', she replies: "I think she is."

"Right," he nods. "Well, something has to happen then, won't it?"

She nods, feeling sorry for him. She can't even imagine how it must feel like to know your boy-or girlfriend is in love with someone besides you. Just as she's about to put a hand on his shoulder, she notices he doesn't seem all that depressed and follows his sparkling gaze to a boy, about eleven years old, with a guitar in his hand. He seems to be waiting for someone. Perhaps visitors? When he starts to play, Chris automatically is drawn to the intro of Stairway to Heaven and goes to sit beside the boy.

Haley kinks her eyebrow yet smiles as Chris takes the guitar out of his hands to show him how he can do better. It's a startling heart-warming sight. She didn't know he could be human. She saw him more as a caricature with a one-faceted personality. Feeling pleasantly surprised, she joins the boys.

"Can you play guitar too?" the boy asks.

"Yes," she nods. "But I'm better at piano."

"Do you sing?"

"I do."

"Wanna sing now?" Chris asks.

Haley starts to blush. "I, I, I…don't know."

"Come on…" he turns to the boy and further points at Haley. "Brandon? Will you sing along with her?"

"Sure!"

After a couple of moment of self-consciousness, Haley loses her inhibitions and sings like she would by herself. Brandon has by now fell silent and just stares in awe at the girl opposite him. As the last tones of the song die out, Chris also gazes at her deeply impressed.

"Haley…I know this isn't the time but… I think I'd like to work with you."

"What?"

"Yes," he nods. "I trying to be a professional musician and have a couple of demos. The next time I'll record one, I'd like you to be there too. You're one of the most beautiful voices I've ever heard."

"Huh…I…" She looked at the impressed expression on his face and grinned widely. She never sings in front of people but it went so easy with him, with another musician like her. "Yes."

x

_I'm in the middle of nowhere  
near the end of the line,  
but there's a border to somewhere waiting  
and there's a tankful of time;  
oh give me just another moment to see the light of the day  
and take me to another land where I don't have to stay._

I softly open my eyes. Judging from the furniture, I'm lying in the hospital and immediately remember I had a skiing accident. But where the hell is this music coming from?

_And I'm gonna need somebody to make me feel like you do;  
and I will receive somebody with open arms, open eyes,  
open up the sky and let the planet that I love shine through._

"Lucas?"

I look at my side and before I fully realize what's happening, a bunch of blond curls block my view as they hit my face. "You took care of me," I say remembering after she pulls back.

"Well, I just kind of screamed they had to get an ambulance for you. How are you feeling?"

"Oh. Huh…I think I got a huge bruise on my leg and I'm a bit drowsy still but in general, I'm alright I guess," I say quite monotone. "You should want these back." I take the earbuds out and give them back to her before we fall in an uncomfortable silence.

Softly I straighten my body and look around the room, avoiding to look at her. I haven't forgotten what happened before the skiing accident either. She was refusing to talk to me yet again, because we once again crossed the line between friendship a love, and I'm more than sick of her ignoring attitude. She has to face the facts and admit we're not just freaking friends.

"Keith is here," Peyton then says with disappointed in her voice. "But he's gone to get you some clothes back at the hotel. He left about ten minutes ago."

* * *

He continues to look away from me and so I lean back, not knowing what to do or say. With each second I get increasingly irritated. I've been here for three hours in a row and he doesn't even seem the slightest bit touched. It makes me feel so useless here. Oh, if he wasn't a heart-slash-hospital patient, what wouldn't I tell that rude boy!

"What is it Peyton?' he asks noticing I'm not pleased.

"Nothing." I'm not going to cause a scene. He's not well.

"Yes, there is."

"I told you there isn't," I say through gritted teeth.

"No, you're angry but you're sparing me because I happen to lay in the hospital."

"You want to know what's up? OK…What is up is that I've been sitting here for about three hours talking to you and letting you use my I-pod and the reaction I get from you when you wake up is…Well there is none!"

"Do you want me to kiss you again? That'd be a nice gesture of gratitude, no?"

My eyes widen. "Excuse me?" I rub the surprise of his remark off of me. "Friends don't kiss," I retort.

"We kissed the day before yesterday, _friend_."

"You started it!"

"Doesn't matter. If you hadn't wanted me to kiss or touch you, you wouldn't have let me and I would've stopped if I saw you were uncomfortable. But you kissed me back. To claim that we're just friends now…Well, that's a sign of either denial or stupidity. Which one is it with you?"

I know he's right but although I have been in denial about my feelings for him, it doesn't mean I don't love Chris too. This is just an extremely difficult situation for me. "I don't know what's in that drip bu-"

"I want to be with you, and not to watch a movie and banter a bit. But since you cling onto Chris the way you do and insist on being just friends with me, that isn't possible. So I guess we'll just have to be nothing from now on." He proceeds to look stubbornly in front of him.

"No!"

"Why not? You got what you wanted and I didn't. At least be so unselfish to let me be."

"Then I am selfish! I don't care. I need you to stay with me."

"Why is that then?"

"Because…I'm not ready for you not to be there, alright? I need you in my life. Since I met you I see everything brighter and I don't want to lose that. I want to stay-"

"Happy?" he questions. I timidly bow my head. "Do I make you happy?"

I stare up in his eyes with furrowed brows. "Yes," I softly say.

"Peyt…" He grabs my hand and pulls me closer so that our faces are less than inches apart.

Softly he strokes my cheek and then connects our foreheads before softly brushing his nose past mine. I really have to restrain myself from grabbing his face and kiss it senseless. "Do you feel that?" he asks. "I don't know about you, Peyt," he continues quietly "but I've never felt that before with anyone else in my life. Do you understand that I can't be friends with you when I feel like this?"

I feel my heart melting. "Oh, Lucas…" I bow over with the intention of kissing him somewhere –doesn't matter where as long as it aren't his lips, because that'd mean I'd be cheating again- but he rest his hand on my cheek and holds me back.

"You can't do this with me and then go to Chris and do the same, Peyt. It doesn't work like that and it just hurts."

I look in his eyes sadly as I straighten myself again. Being in love with two people at the same time sucks. "How long have you felt like this?" I carefully ask.

"I guess it started after we slept together."

"You slept with him!?" I suddenly hear a loud crying. We turn our heads at the door where Chris is standing ready to explode. Uh-oh. "YOU SLEPT WITH HIM?"

"It was before we got back together!" I immediately reply defending. "Huh…How long have you been standing there?"

"Just in time to hear you two…" He puts his fist in front of his mouth as if he's about to throw up. "I'm sickened," he confirms my suspicions that this information isn't exactly doing wonders for his stomach. "I can't believe you slept with him, got back together with me and still kept him as a friend!" Then falls silent, just staring at his feet. "I can't believe this."

"Chris?" I let out quietly. I've never seen him like this, so serious. Better not to tell him I kissed him yesterday if he reacts this way to something that happened while we were apart.

"When exactly?" he asks boldly.

"The day of my mother's death," I reply business-like, like I'm merely giving him the data.

"So you took advantage of her?" he addresses Lucas who immediately opens his mouth to object.

"No!" I jump in before he can answer. "It wasn't like that, I knew what I was doing! But really that's none of your business; you were with Brooke at the time. I was free to do what I wanted, Chris and it isn't fair you're making me feel like some kind of slut here."

He sighs. "I don't think you're a slut, Peyton," he snaps. "But if you were so goddamn in love with me as you said you where then why would you do something like that?"

"I don't know…"

"What does it matter if I was with Brooke if _your_ heart was with me? How could you sleep with him? The Peyton I know would never do that! You would never just sleep with someone."

"Maybe I'm not just someone," Lucas buts in audibly being sick of being talked about like he's some parasite.

"Are you in love with him?" Chris points violently at Lucas.

"I don't KNOW…" I repeat loudly, annoyed with his pushing. However, I do realize now that I am indeed in love with Lucas but I'm not going to say that in front of these two, they're being so petty and jealous.

"Seems to be a lot you don't know," he notices and I shoot him a death glare. He's seeing through my lie I see by the look in his eyes and just mocks me instead of backing off a bit and let me deal with was is happening right now. "Maybe we should take a break until you do."

* * *

"You're breaking up with me?"

I feel as surprised as her and behold the spectacle taking place in front of my eyes.

"I want you to choose," Chris insists. "I can't be in a relationship where I know I'm not your only one! And yeah, until you made up you're mind, there's no 'us'."

"This is crazy!" Peyton cries.

"Yes, it is. You and him are indeed crazy."

She bows her head guiltily and I do too, yet faintly smiling. She doesn't have to admit she likes because it's quite clear from the way she acts. Yet I do _want_ her to say to me she is indeed in love with me at some point, merely because I'm the kind of person who needs affirmation. Yes, how silly it may sound; I need people to say to me they care about me, even if I know it inside.

I don't get this!" he then shouts furrowing his brows. "He's the kind of people we used to laugh at! This boring, silent, nerdy-"

"Well then call me karma," I reply agitated.

Furiously, Chris gazes into my eyes. "I'll show you karma…" He mutters under his breath before marching my way in an ominous beat.

"Chris!" Peyton cries stopping him. "He just had a heart attack!"

As she gives him a long speech I provokingly smile at him. Something about this guy truly brings out the worst in me, I'm usually not taunting at all! However, now, before I realize it, I've raised my hand and softly wave at Chris, who looks at me like a bull at a red cloth from over Peyton's shoulder.

"Peyton, he's bullying me!" he shouts.

She turns her head around fast enough to see me pull my hand back. "Oh my God…" she then sighs and pinches the bridge of her nose.

"You HAVE to choose, Peyton," Chris insists.

"Yes," I agree with him for the first and probably last time in my life. She simply can't keep playing these games with us, we all need some clarity.

"So who's it going to be?" he asks.

She looks back and forward between us for a couple of moments before she eyes the door and starts running to it, soon disappearing in the hall. That's a very mature way of handling with it, yes. Just pull a Roadrunner. Chris follows her in an even faster tempo and not much later, comes back with Peyton hanging over his shoulder like a ragdoll. She looks completely beaten as he puts her down in the seat under the television.

"I wish everybody would just leave me alone!" she complains.

"You need to pick one of us. And we're very serious, aren't we Lucas? So NO MORE RUNNING. "

I nod. Finally he does something right.

She furrows her brows uncertainly and visibly a bit afraid at us forming a front. "I need time," she then says.

"Alright. How much?"

"Three weeks."

"One."

"Two."

"Alright."

x

"So what should I do now?"

"Make pro-con lists."

"I did."

"And?"

"Lucas had more pros but Chris had a lot less cons."

"What?" Haley asks surprised. "Chris has fewer cons? Show me those lists!"

I pull it out of my bag pack and show it to her. Suddenly she furrows her brows gazing at the Lucas' list. "How is 'sweet' a con?"

"Because I'm not and he might start judging me for that. Which is another con. Judgmental, because he's so nice and so he automatically expects other people to be like that too."

"So what are you saying? The lower the sense of morality the better a guy suits you?"

"Exactly," I nod and Rachel laughs.

"Show me Lucas' pros!" she then orders and Haley hands her the list. "You're missing something there…Can I have a pen?" With kinked eyebrow, I give her one and she starts writing. "Amazing…In…Bed…Gave you three-"

"Rachel!"

"What? It should be written in freaking billboard letters! It's the most important thing on all these lists combined!"

"Give me back," I order slightly embarrassed. "The pros and cons obviously haven't helped anyway since I'm asking you guys here for advice. I'm in love with both of them." I can't help but let out a frustrated groan at this. Why me? For fifteen years, even a bit longer, I wished to fall in love yet in vain. Every other girl in my class had fallen in love by the age of fifteen except for me, which resulted in people calling me an ice queen. They should see me now, torn between two lovers. How ironic.

"Can you still hang out with them?" Haley asks. She's obviously Team Lucas but still tries to be objective for me since I asked her help. Plus, since Rachel has a way of telling Chris pretty much everything –except for the sleeping-slash-kissing Lucas things- I needed someone to balance that out and Haley was the perfect person for that.

"Yes."

"Well what about you just go on a date with each one of them and see what gives?"

"That's actually not a bad idea," I admit. "But won't they feel objectified?"

"That would be their own fault," Rachel says. "They forced you to choose as if they were…A pear and an apple. So treated like a pear and an apple they shall be. Taste both, spit one of them out."

"I'm not going to treat them like a pear and an apple!"

"Peyton," Haley sighs. "Just be honest with them and tell you have to spend some time with both of them to help you make up your mind, to see where your heart really lies."

"Alright…" I sigh. "I'll try."

* * *

Tell me what you think!


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N**: Thanks for the reviews and sorry for the delay! I lacked inspiration but it came back and here you go. :D Hope you enjoy!

* * *

  


Chapter 10

Tonight, after weeks and weeks of rehearsing we're finally performing our play. I'm extremely nervous but as always, hide my emotions quite well. The anxiety towards showing my acting abilities in front of hundreds of people isn't the only thing on my mind, though. Lucas and Chris are as well. I hadn't seen either of them a lot lately, which gave me some space to think but instead I preferred to forget about my problems and go through life like nothing had happened these past weeks.

Currently I'm sitting on a bench in the street not for from Karen's Café, under the lime tree I had claimed my own upon arriving here. It's cold and my hands are starting to grow numb, which isn't good seeing I'm drawing. However, I wouldn't lift myself until my hands froze off or a hurricane would rage through this very street. I like sitting here. It gives me peace. Even the most difficult things suddenly seem a lot easier here since I can look at them with a calmer eye. For example now my thoughts wonder off to the date on Friday with Chris and I don't even feel the slightest worry; I just think about possible scenarios.

Suddenly Haley comes out of nowhere. I look up to see her standing in front of me rubbing her arms through her bomber jack. "Peyton, it's freezing!" she says in a shiver. "What are you doing here in the cold, all by yourself?"

I just stare at her a bit sheepishly.

"Come on," she continues giving me a look that makes me think she suspects I'm from Mars. "Let's get a hot coco."

When we not later arrive at Karen's Café, I lock eyes with Lucas, who's carrying around coffees and pieces of pie for old ladies, and softly smile. I do have to admit since they forced me to choose it has been less complicated for me. They know I care about both of them and though Chris _is_ a bit pissed, I think Lucas is just relieved I'm in love with him too. Like he hadn't really had faith or something.

"Peyton!" I hear Haley trying to catch my attention.

I turn my head her way. "I'm here," I confirm that she has my attention from now on. "What have you been up to this afternoon?" I ask. Lately I and she have started to grow closer. It's not quite like me and Rachel yet but Haley has this artistic, musical side I can connect to, like I could with Chris.

She turns red as a beet. "I… Just playing the piano."

I see straight to her lie simple because she isn't very good at telling one. All the signs one shows when lying, she has, touching her hair manically included. I frown. "Right… You sure the piano isn't a boy?"

"No…No, why would you think that?" she ask, her voice changing pitches with every word.

"Haley!" I grin widely, just _knowing_ it's a boy she's blushing over. "Who is it?"

"Nobody! Just piano Steinway."

"Hmmm…" I hum unconvinced. She's keeping something from me, I know it. However, if she wants to tell me she will when the time is right, no need to push her.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Who is she?" I look to my side and see my mom's questioning eyes. She never fails to read through me, does she? It would be easier if she did. "Do you like her?"

"Mom…" I complain.

"Lucas…" she mimics me.

I briefly look up in exasperation. "Yes."

Then she holds her stare on Peyton long. "She's not Brooke." Her voice testifies of disapproval.

"No," I confirm slightly annoyed.

"She seems aggressive."

Examining her more than I was already doing I can understand why she'd say this. She's wearing a long-sleeve Ramones shirt with tight black pants tucked in buckled boots. "She is, sometimes."

I must be looking very amused as I say that because my mom suddenly furrows her brows and says:

"You're sure you don't like her because she's supposed to be a challenge?"

"Mom!" I let out displeased. Why is everyone thinking I'm this over-sensitive geek desperately trying to take a walk on the wild side for once?

"I'm sorry Lucas but you're my son and I love you. I don't know how this girl does it but looking at her I feel she's covered head to toe in issues. I only want the best for you and I doubt this girl can give you that."

"You don't know her!"

"Isn't she then?" she asks.

"What?"

"Covered from head to toe in issues?"

"It doesn't matter," I answer and mean it. She could be the female Michael Scofield and I'd still want her.

"What happened to Brooke?" she sighs and I can hear her underlying wish, the hope that I'd get back together with Brooke. "She was carefree and saw the world in such a bright way."

"I'm not into Brooke anymore," I simply answer, getting more agitated with the second. I love my mom to death but her overprotective ways are suffocating and annoying. "And if you'd want the best for me you'd want me to be with a girl I actually love, right?"

"Does she love you?"

I briefly hold my tongue. "Yes," I proceed to reply.

"But…?"

"But she's sort of…also still in love with another guy."

"Who?" She sounds appalled.

At that moment Chris walks in. Of course he's dressed Peyton-style. Well, it's his own style but you get what I mean. I and Peyton are alike but boy, _they_ are too. Just in different ways. It's why I think she has such a hard time letting one of us go: she finds herself back in both of us but saying 'no' to one would mean she won't be able to look at that one anymore and recognize herself. Chris isn't the kind of guy who would stay friends and I'd, personally, hurt too much.

"Him?" my mom asks and her eyes widen a bit. Together they do look a bit threatening I admit. I'm not jealous they're talking right now because for one, Haley is also engaged in the conversation and just as much, and two, I know she won't do anything until after the dates. She does have a sense of morality, you know, and I wish my mom would understand that instead of seeing her like the aggressive rock chick who's trying to turn her son into a rebel-with-mohawk. Sometimes adults are so narrow-minded.

x

I peek through the curtains and see a bee nest of people. Oh, no… I'm so scared! What if I have a black-out and forget all my lines? It will be petrifying! Alright… 'Breath in, breath out', I order myself before I faint. This corset I'm wearing isn't helping though. I mean, I truly have nothing against Goths, but they shouldn't have given the role of costume designer to one; they love corsets and all that retro, go-back-to-the-Ancien-Regime stuff. The only positive thing about it is that it pushes my boobs up.

Minute by minute passes and before I know it, I'm saying my lines in front of the crowd who listens attentively though I'm sure they all know the story of Romeo and Juliet by heart by now. During the Capulet-Montague fight, I disappear in the coulisse. Lucas is watching everything attentively, seemingly more nervous than I am though I actually have to perform on the scene. I approach him and just look up at him scanning his concentrated face.

* * *

Feeling Peyton looking up at me, I turn my head and lock eyes with her, smiling. Then I suddenly notice something else than her face. She hasn't been close to me all evening but now that she is I must say she looks amazing in that corset. Suddenly I feel her fist on my arm and look away biting my bottom lip, feeling caught.

"You're such a guy," she complains and tries to pull her corset higher.

"And according to my mom, you're Buffy without the vampire chasing and stuff," I reply without much thought. Her words have bugged me all day long and I just had to wipe them off me somehow, by repeating them for example.

"What?"

"She thinks you're aggressive and wrong for me." I admit, I've always valued my mother's opinion highly. However, I feel her judgment is completely clouded now because of her liking for Brooke. "She likes Brooke," I explain.

Seeing the disappointment and hurt on her face I suddenly feel guilty for saying it. I was just expressing my frustration and sadness about the fact that my mom doesn't really seem to like the girl I love. I never meant for it to cause her pain, I had expected her to shrug or something. What if she lets this influence her choice?

* * *

Before Lucas can say something that would sure be comforting, it's my turn again to go up. I'm just feeling really hurt by this because it makes me wonder if maybe I had had a mother to guide me through puberty, she _would've_ like me. Overall mothers seem to have a problem with me. Chris's too, she was always staring at me like I was a parasite. It never stopped me from being with him though and it wouldn't stop me from being with Lucas.

Some people in the audience get quite caught up in the story as it continues. When I bowing over Chris some are actually crying knowing what will happen.

"What's here? A cup, closed in my true love's hand?  
Poison, I see, hath been his timeless end:  
O churl! Drunk all, and left no friendly drop  
To help me after? I will kiss thy lips;  
Haply some poison yet doth hang on them,  
To make die with a restorative."

I bow my head and kiss him softly. It's a good kiss, we've always had the kissing part down to a tee, but I once again have to face the fact that it isn't the way it once was.

"Thy lips are warm."

I lay myself down atop him and hear how the others finish the play. When the curtains close we hear a loud applause and I smile. As Chris intertwines his hand with mine to go back on stage and bow in a minute, he whispers in my ear:

"We got to talk."

"We do," I confirm.

x

We retreat ourselves in the hallways of school though no one can come here. For a moment we just look at each other before we simultaneously say:

"I've got feelings for someone else."

"I choose Lucas."

We scowl at each other.

"What?" we then ask again in synchrony. "You first."

I sigh. "_I_'ll go first."

"OK."

"Chris… I've loved you and I still do, a lot. I don't suddenly claim that you don't mean anything to me because… You were my world. Once. But I don't live in that world anymore if you get what I'm saying. I probably started to move on the moment you left me but couldn't admit it because you were all I had for such a long time. But I should've known I'm not one to forgive people who left me just like that and I should've known that because of that, we could never be the same again. I should've never come here..."

"B-"

"But I'm glad I did," I continue.

"Lucasssssssss…" he says teasingly. It annoys me but just a bit. I should be happy he's not all that affected but he's sure fallen in love a lot since we broke up. I guess he feels it the same way: that something broke forever with our split.

"Yes, Lucas," I nod. "I know he's not our kind of people b-"

"Ya think?"

I kink my eyebrow at him. "But you don't know him like I do."

"I may sure hope not," he replies disgusted.

"I didn't mean sex, asshole!"

"I know," he replies. "It's alright. If he makes you happy, I'm happy too."

"That's so cheesy!" I smile.

"I do my best," he shrugs and gives me a wide grin.

I sigh deeply. "We should've done this long ago."

"What?"

"The break-up conversation. It's easier to let go like this, you understand? If you like, actually, I don't know… talk?"

"I know," he admits. "But I've apologized enough for that!"

"It's alright," I nod. "So…who is she?" I then ask boldly. "Or do I have to ask 'he'? You know, those anti-gay reactions make one won-"

"Haley," he cuts me off.

"Haley?" I repeat loudly and can't help but let out a laugh. "Oh, but Chris…She's not our kind of people…"

"She plays an instrument."

"She's a goodie-two-shoes…"

"With sarcasm!" he defends himself. "Whatever, yours hardly ever talks."

"He says something when he feels it necessary and not just to say something," I reply a bit insulted. My mind then clings itself on the subject of Haley again. "Hey! That's why she was all red when I asked her what she had done this afternoon! Were you with her?"

"Yes, we we're just rehearsing some songs… She was blushing?"

"You don't know if she's into you?" I respond to his question with a question.

"Well no…" he admits a bit shyly. My jaw drops. You got to love Haley though, she's such a great girl hiding her feelings for my sake and turning Chris into a shy guy. Hopefully not too much but this little glimpse is endearing. Oddly enough, I'm rooting for them. He can have his happiness too.

x

"Brooke, don't do it…"

The brunette kinks an eyebrow at Bevin. "I'll do what I want. She took my guys from me. Both of them."

"But you're with Nathan now…"

"Yes, because that's such a loving relationship," she replies sarcastically. Ever since Chris and her broke up she has been trying to find a way to get back at Peyton best. After all she is the cause of everything by just…being there. Seeing how her relationship with Nathan isn't giving her any satisfaction apart from sexual one, she needs to find her gratification elsewhere.

However, she has an eye for the way things are going in other people's love lives and from what she has seen, fake Goldilocks had a major thing for HER Broody. She knew how charming Lucas could be and how he could make you feel special, wanted, loved. She wanted him back and breaking Peyton in the process seemed heaven. She made her way over to Lucas and offered him her brightest smile when he looked down at her. But he wasn't paying much attention; she assumed he must be looking for Peyton who was God knows where. Yet no worries. She'd wait for Peyton to return to kiss him.

"So you did a great job directing the play," she started the conversation.

"Thanks Brooke," he replied with a genuine smile. "You weren't too bad either, those maid clothes suited you."

"Funny," she let out in a tone that suggested the opposite. He just laughed. "So… How's your love life?"

He sighed. "Gone, I have no idea where she is," he replied.

"Peyton?"

"Yes."

"Well, I saw her disappearing in the halls with Chris after the play, they were kind of making out," she replied and felt all warm and fuzzy inside seeing the broken expression on his face. "Oh…" she bit her bottom lip. "I shouldn't have said that, I'm sorry, Luke."

* * *

I cannot quite describe what when through me when Brooke said that but complete disappointment, hurt and anger must come near. I shouldn't have hoped so much I guess. Hope is a vicious thing; it has a tendency of biting you in the ass. I suddenly feel like I'm five years old again, sitting in front of the mailbox hoping my dad sent me a card for my birthday. He never did and I was always crushed. Peyton had a chance to choose me a couple of times and never did either. I'm sometimes just really sick of always being pushed aside, you know?

Suddenly Brooke wraps her arms around my neck and gives me a hug. When she pulls back I see her head nearing mine. Just as she's about to kiss me I see a glance of content in her eyes, but it isn't because she's with me now, there's a rim of viciousness around it. I follow her gaze and look straight at Peyton who looks back as if she's about the throw up out of wrath and repulsiveness.

"You lied," I accuse and pull her hands off my body.

She stumbles back shocked. "I…I…"

"Save it," I snap. Looking at her now I can't believe I was ever in love with her.

x

I stop by Peyton's house and run to the door with the intention of knocking it but then realize she'd never, in a million years open it for me now. Instead I slip through the back door, and go upstairs to her room where I find her cussing out her CD's; from what I hear because it has scratches.

"Get out," she hisses when she sees me. "Get OUT!" she repeats louder when I don't.

"Did you do anything with Chris?" I ask, just to be sure.

"I can't believe you're asking me this!!" she yells furiously. "NO! Did you, huh? Do anything? I mean, mommy likes her, must do what she says and go back to the cheery whore!"

"What were you doing there then with him, in the halls alone?" I see a flicker of hurt in her eyes and suddenly the pieces of the puzzle fall together: she wasn't kissing Chris; she just isolated him so that they could talk. A serious conversation. I think… "You chose me…"

She falls silent and just remains scowling at me. "And now I'm telling you I don't want you anymore," she replies.

"I didn't do anything with Brooke," I say and approach her. Quickly so that she wouldn't be able to respond I grab her arms and kiss her fully, openly and with so much passion one could wonder if my life depends on this one kiss. It could. If she doesn't kiss me back, I'm done for. She won't have me and I'll be forced to pine at her from a distance or she'll go back to where she came from.

I feel a sensation of relief come over me when her full lips dip to taste mine, returning the kiss as I had hoped. Then, before I know it, she yanks her arm loose and I feel my jaw stinging. I can't believe she actually slapped me! I sure wasn't wrong on the aggressive part. "I didn't do anything with Brooke!" I scream desperately.

"How stupid do you think I am?!" she cries back. "A kiss doesn't solve anything! Especially not when you were kissing another girl half and hour ago!"

"I love you!"

* * *

I hold my tongue.

"I love you, does that solve anything?!" he asks still screaming.

"No, because _I_ don't!! **I** don't love you!!"

We fall into a silence. His eyes bore a hole in me; I can't handle the intensity and look away. I don't know what to believe. Even if nothing happened with Brooke, who can confirm there that something wouldn't have happened either if I hadn't showed up? I can't handle another boy jumping straight into another girl's bed when we're going through a rough patch and that's what Lucas seems to be about. I understand he has his insecurities, but problem is that the actions they provoke cause me to hurt too. I'd rather live without pain than with and if that's what he's promising me, pain, then I'd rather live without him. It's not that I don't love him because everything that has happened lately obviously proves that I do but it seems that if I tell him I don't, he'll go away easier. The short pain.

"You're a liar," he calmly accuses.

I look up immediately back into defense. "And you're a cheater!"

He rolls his eyes, which makes me even more fuming. "We aren't even together!"

"So what? You would like it, huh? If I would go out and start kissing Nathan in front of your nose?"

"I-"

"I don't care!!" I cry. "You just waltz through life without thinking about the consequences of your actions!"

"Me?! he then cries in rage; I've never seen him like this and I get a bit scared. "You, Peyton, have made me feel like SHIT more than you made me feel GOOD!!"

I don't want to show how shocked I am of his behavior. "I want you to leave," I order again, clueless to what else I should say.

"Stop being so cold!!"

"I'm not cold!" My eyesight grows blurry. I'm so sick of everyone always saying that. "I'm not cold!" I don't know what's happening but suddenly tears stream down my face. "I'm NOT COLD!!" I point my finger at him violently. "If you think I'm cold, you don't know ANYTHING about me!!"

His gorgeous eyes glaze over with regret. For screaming at me like this, I'm sure. Slowly he takes a few steps my way as I just remain standing still. The tension can be cute with a knife. Before he reaches me, the phone rings. The sound is like an elephant in the room. We lock eyes for a few seconds as the sharp tones cut through us.

"I should answer that," I mumble.

I do so and hear my grandfather's voice, crying. My whole world is turned upside-down at once. From what I can understand, they were planning on paying me another visit and were almost at the house when they got into a car accident. I put my hand in front of my mouth in disbelief. My grandmother… In the hospital…Bad state…My dad is on his way… I, I... should go too. Immediately.

I lay the phone down and stare at Lucas.

"What is it?" he asks worried.

"It was my grandfather…My grandmother has been in a car accident," I softly, almost practically say. "She's in the hospital. I should go…"

I feel dazed whilst I look for my keys distracted. Lucas, however, finds them in less than seconds, knowing where I put them from all the times he was here. "You're in no condition to drive," he says. "I'll take you."

For a moment I just remain standing with the phone in my hand. Though I don't know how bad her state exactly is I'm already thinking about funerals and graveyards. It's horrible. Lucas steps over to me, wraps one arm around my waist and quickly kisses the side of my head, comforting. "Come Peyt," he then carefully urges "he's waiting for you…"

I follow him almost sheepishly. The whole car ride he holds his hand over mine and glances at me caring from time to time, with pain his eyes because I'm in pain or will be even more when this daze leaves. I must be crying because suddenly he lifts his hand and softly takes a tear with his index finger. I don't do anything and just sit, worried about what worse news I might be receiving soon.

* * *

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Tell me what you think!


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N:** Thanks for the reviews, people and enjoy! :)

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Chapter 11

_Silently Peyton, her father, grandfather and aunt listen to the doctor who has come with devastating news. Peyton's grandmother June is at the moment being kept alive by machines and is unable to merely breathe by herself. I'm just standing behind them, watching. I can't help but feel out of place yet I want to be here for Peyton. I know how she's with her father: she loves him, but she won't let him know what's going through her. Having heard her talk about him I know it's because she believes he doesn't care about her, because he's never home. Besides, being the person she is she wouldn't want to burden him with her sorrow on top of his own. She can burden me, and I'll listen._

_"There's…no chance she'll ever wake up?" I hear Robert choke out. I've never seen a man this sad in my life. His blue eyes are washed over with tears and inside of them I noticed the worst emotion one can experience. Worse than hate. Worse than fear. It's despair. All hope is lost._

_"I'm afraid not," the doctor replies delicately. "Your wife is in an irreversible and permanent coma, with the least amount of brain function that a person can have and still be considered alive." He pauses. "I'm sorry."_

_I fix my eyes on Peyton who throws her hand in front of her mouth to silence a sob. Softly I creep behind her and place my hand on her shoulder. She lets me but I don't know it's because she's willing to let me in or simply because she doesn't care if I'm here or not. Since Brooke almost kissed me I'm not sure of anything. Naturally her grandmother is her primary concern, but I want her to trust me so that I can help. She lets me touch her, but will she talk to me? _

_"Now seeing the circumstances," the doctor continues "I have to ask if you would like to turn off the life support and if one of you has the legal permission to make this decision."_

_"We hadn't discussed that yet," Robert quietly admits. "But she used to always say if anything ever happened to her, if something like this happened to her, we should let her go. So…" his voice breaks. "I guess that's what we should do." _

_"Dad!" Peyton's aunt cries appalled. _

_"Amy, it's what she would've wanted," Larry stands by his father._

_"I'm not letting my mother die!" Amy yells upset as if she's surprised her brother and father made up their mind about this question so quickly. _

_"Amy, please…" Robert pleads. _

_She doesn't listen but just starts yelling. She says she doesn't want to be a murderer and especially not her mother's. Also she throws in the argument that in ten years they might be able to wake her up with the newest technology and then what? They'd have to live with the fact they took their mother's chance of recovery. At last she finishes with saying that she'll get a warrant prohibiting them if necessary. I cannot believe what I'm hearing. Looking at Peyton, I notice she stays very calm under all of this. Her tears have dried and she now simply gazes at her hysterical aunt with an expression on her face that betrays her disapproval and disbelief concerning Amy's egoism. _

* * *

Quietly I walk into her room, checking the halls to make sure no one notices I'm here. Then I sit myself down on the little chair near her bedside and intertwine my hand with grandma's. With my other, I softly stroke her hair. My eyes fill with tears. Her hair is the same as mine, only thinner; her hands are the same, only older. She's probably the most intriguing, energetic, brave woman I've ever met. Look at her now: chained to a machine and forced to 'live' in a bed like a plant stands in a pot: still, lifeless, soulless.

My dad is right, she wouldn't have wanted this. She's a person who was meant to be free. If she could see herself right now, I bet she'd ask us to turn off the damn machine and let her go gracefully; it's just the kind of person she was. I even overheard her saying during the whole Terry Schiavo trial that they should let the woman have the last shred of dignity she still had and remove her feeding tube. The fire in her eyes when she talked about this subject is something I'll never forget. She had such a great passion for living, and not in the sense of being alive by breathing artificially.

As I remember her warm, tanned face when she came back from Spain, the way she dressed me up and combed my hair for diner and just how she took care for me a third of my childhood, I let go of her hand and stand up. I pace through the room with my thumbnail in my mouth, glancing nervously at my grandma from time to time.

I must do that for a minute or ten. Finally, with tears in my eyes I approach the life support machine. Looking back and forward between grandma and the machine, I break and cry openly. This is tearing me apart inside. I love this woman more than I love myself. She's like a second mother to me. Bowing over, I place a soft kiss on her forehead and make a little cross on her forehead with my thumb, as she used to do when I was a little girl, before I went to sleep. Shaking, I further take a deep breath, raise my hand and turn off the life support. Then all there is, is a thin green line.

* * *

"Peyton…" I softly call her name.

She's on her bed, crying. Downstairs there's a whole bunch of people, mourning the death of June Sawyer with a cold buffet and coffee. Tradition. The funeral was beautiful and I don't think I've ever seen so many people cry at the same time, and so heavily. She was a dearly loved woman.

They don't really know at the hospital what happened with the life support. They suspect someone turned it off but Larry, Peyton and her grandfather all had alibis. We were with each other at her time of death. So, they decided to let it go because the maching could as well have had a slight defect. It's for the best like this. Even Amy is accepting her mother's death, though she still refuses to look either Larry or her father in the eye.

Peyton doesn't look anyone in the eye; she just locks herself up in her room always with her arms wrapped around her pillow and her cheeks stained with tears. I don't know what to do; mostly I just stay at her door and ask if she needs anything. I want to reach out to her so badly; I want her to grab her and tell her everything will be alright but I don't know how.

"Go away, Lucas!" she mumbles.

"Your father is asking if you maybe want something to eat." Ever since I came with Peyton to the hospital, her father has somehow accepted my presence. I think it's because when I put my arm around her she didn't pull away, or when I stroked her hair she didn't tell me to stop. She didn't return my touches though, she just let me do.

"No!"

"B-"

"I said, go away!" she repeats more forcefully.

I nod with bowed head and disappear out of her eyesight again. I return downstairs where her father looks at me hopefully. I shake my head 'no' and his face drops even more than it already was. I know the feeling. I had expected Peyton to shut us out, yes, but not in this way. In my mind I saw scenarios where she'd try to hide her emotions and of course I'd come into the picture and do what I do best: make her open up. Now she's aggressive and couldn't stop crying. It's the opposite of what I had been playing in my head and it confuses me very much. This isn't the damsel in distress I had expected and so I can't be her Prince Charming.

* * *

"Hey…" I raise my head and see Chris and Rachel entering my room. "How are you doing?"

I don't answer.

"Stupid question," Rachel mumbles to herself.

'Guys, could you please leave me alone?" I ask. I'm surprised at how much gentler I talk to them opposed to Lucas. It's just that his presence scares me. With him I feel the urge to pour my heart out and let him know everything there is to know about myself. I want to tell him I killed my grandmother. Maybe I want him to know what kind of monster I am so that he leaves me, saves himself or something like that.

"But Peyton…"

"Please. I want to be by myself, I want to deal with this on my own."

They lock eyes disappointed before leaving.

* * *

The hours slowly creep by until it's evening and no one is left except for her grandfather and father. Amy has decided to stay in a hotel. Larry runs his hand over his face exhausted of his sorrow and the business of the day, and sighs. "I don't know what to do with Peyton," he says. I take careful notice of his facial expression and the look he shares with his father; they're both as clueless as I am.

"Has she said something at all to you?" Robert asks.

"Nothing that had meaning."

"Do you want me to got check up on her?" I ask.

"You sure?" Larry asks. Her grandfather doesn't say a thing. I don't think he likes me very much now that he knows I'm not Chris but keeps his mouth shut because I'm a 'support' for his granddaughter.

"Yes," I confirm.

They nod and I make my way upstairs before entering her room. She has barely changed her position, still laying in fetal position with her hands around her pillow as if that's the one thing keeping her going.

"Peyt…" I say her name.

"Please Luke, just let me," she pleads sighing. I heard the exasperation in her voice and do understand it a bit. All day long people have been bothering her with the question if she was coping when she very clearly wasn't.

I don't know what comes over me when I suddenly walk to her bed and go sit on it. Her body stiffens completely when I raise my hand and rub her arm. "Talk to me…"

"No…" she shakes her head and breaks out in sobs. "And don't touch me."

"Why not…?" Without thinking, I simply lay myself down on the bed and spoon her carefully. Not in a romantic way necessarily, just wrapping myself around her like a shield. If I can't be Prince Charming, I'll just be me. Clingy, emotional me.

"I don't need you to look out for me!" she protest sniffling. She starts to worm her way out of my arms. It's an unfair battle, I'm too strong. Instead of letting her go, I raise one hand to wipe her cheek dry while the other remains clutched around her waist.

"But this isn't about you," I respond with a desperate tone in my voice. "This is about me, Peyt. I know it's very selfish of me to say right now but I need to be close to you; I need to feel you trust me." I nestle my head on her shoulder, against her curls.

"Just get out while you can…"

I don't understand what she's trying to say. "I don't want to get out." I feel my own tears welling up, out of helplessness. I hate that she's pushing me away. "I want to be here for you, let me!"

"I'm not good for you!"

"I don't care…" It's the simple truth. She could mean the end of me and I'd still stay laying here next to her. It's a need. She' is a basic need, like food or sleep. Without her I'll grow weak. "I don't care."

"No…" She stands firm but her protest is losing its power.

I bring my mouth closer to her ear. "I love you Peyt…Let me." When she realizes I'm not going anywhere, she gives up and eases her body. I tighten my grip and intertwine my legs with hers -just in case- while all she still does is shake her head as if she's repeating to herself I'm crazy for staying.

I don't know how come but within five minutes she's asleep, her body going up and down heavily in my arms. I presume it's from all the crying. You know that feeling you have after you've shed so many tears you're sure they're all gone? Like there's a brick laying on your chest? Well, I think she must feel like that now, only worse.

Carefully I lean my head to the right and kiss her cheekbone. I want to give her a feeling of warmth and home. The sensation of being sheltered. She lets out a slightly complaining moan and then makes herself even smaller. I let my eyes rest on her face which even in her sleep is pensive, like she's Atlas, carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders. It's not merely grief she's feeling, but a heavy burden. I look at her for a while, as if that will make me get inside her head and see what's going on. It doesn't and soon I feel tired. With the feeling of her body rising and falling against mine I drift off to sleep.

* * *

"Lucas?" Larry remains standing by the door surprised. Even though he himself is overwhelmed with grief he had baked waffles, to get his daughter downstairs and maybe talking. He hadn't expected Lucas to still be here. He isn't angry though. The boy is dressed and seems to truly care about his daughter; he could tell by the way he looked at her. "I thought you had left."

"I fell asleep," he simply answers. Softly he lets go of Peyton and rubs his eyes, sitting himself straight on the bed. "I'm sorry."

"It's OK." Larry continues to gaze at Lucas a couple of seconds, not really knowing how he should handle this. He doesn't know who this boy is or what he means to his daughter. It's his own fault, sure, and he realizes that but it doesn't make him feel less uncomfortable. "Do you want breakfast?"

"No… I should get going. My mom must be worried sick."

Larry nods as Lucas grabs his stuff. As he reaches the door, the two men lock eyes and Larry gives him an appreciative nod.

"Where are you going?" the suddenly hear. Peyton has woken up and is staring at Lucas slightly worried.

"I…I have to go home," he answers. "But I'll come back."

She accepts his answer and lays herself down again as he leaves reluctantly.

* * *

"Where have you been?" my mom asks angrily when I walk through the door.

"Peyton," I answer.

She lets her eyes run over my frumpy-looking clothes. "Oh, my God," she then sighs out "did you two-"

"NO. I can't believe you'd even THINK that! She just lost her grandmother!"

She bows her head and takes a deep breath, trying to stay calm. "You know how I feel about that girl, Lucas. She's trouble."

"Karen…" Keith jumps in. "We all have our problems."

"But she's bothering my son with hers!"

"She isn't bothering me at all!" I protest. "I-"

"You love her?!" she asks almost yelling. "But you two aren't together, are you?! She's been leading you on and now that she's grieving she uses you to ease the pain! She doesn't love you, you're just convenient to her; someone who's there because he's in love with her and you don't see it! I refuse to let you be treated like that! You know who she reminds me of?!" She screams that last one and I can't believe what I am hearing! Is she comparing Peyton to Dan?

"That's enough!" Keith cries before I can.

"Enough?" my mom cries back. "I'll decide when it's enough! MY son, MY house! Go to your room, Lucas!"

Furiously, I march through the house and slam my door shut with a big bang. What follows is a huge fight between my mom and Keith as I lay on my bed hoping Keith might yell some sense into her. Doesn't' she get it? Even if she has been leading me on, even if she's trouble…I love her. I don't mind her using me. I want to be a strong person for her she can find solace with.

* * *

The whole week I continue to go to Peyton's house, despite my mom objections. Usually I leave her house around ten PM and go sleep at home to return at her place in the morning. With every night that passes I feel her hand wrap a little tighter around mine and even though the gesture is so very small, it makes me feel warm inside. However, I can't shake the feeling off that she has been wanting to tell me something very serious for while now. This night is no different.

When I hear her weeping softly, I press the side of my head deeper into her hair. "It's OK," I say, not knowing anything better to say. This is what people always say when they try to soothe someone even though it isn't OK or it won't be OK. Yet I'm confident she'll pull through. She's Peyton, she's tough.

"Lucas, I'm a horrible person…"

I look down at her. "No…" I stroke the back of her hand with my thumb. "You're wonderful; you're just going through a rough time. But I'll be here. I …I love you."

She turns around and looks up at me with troubled, glazy eyes. I wish she'd say it back to me sometime, just to prove my mom wrong. "I did an awful thing," she whispers. She brings her hand up to her bottom lip and softly pinches it as she bows her head. Her eyes are wide and blank. "I did an awful thing," she repeats.

"What did you do Peyton?" I ask. I softly put my index finger under her chin and lead her face back up so that I'm staring into her eyes yet again. Is she's about to tell me what's burdening her?

"You know in the hospital?" she asks. "When I told I was going to get a coffee?"

I nod.

"I turned off the life support," she simply says.

I have to restrain my jaw from dropping. Her breathing quickens until she finally breaks down once more and cries. I can't believe she has been able to keep this from everyone. How traumatizing it must've been for her, it was the right thing to do. She's just such an incredible person. How can anyone call her selfish? She let her grandmother go with the knowledge it would cause her immense pain. She did it simply because it's what her grandmother wished. But the guilt must be horrible.

"Peyton, you are amazing," I object and kiss the side of her head softly. "So amazing."

"Don't you hate me now?" she asks with trembling voice. Before I'm able to respond, she continues. "I could go to jail for this."

"No, the police dropped it," I reassure her. "And no one else has to know."

"I have to tell my dad," she shakes her head. "I won't be able to live with myself if I don't."

She's still crying and visibly worn out because of just about everything she has been through lately. I don't know what to answer and simply keep staring at her. She looks into my eyes deeply before cupping my cheek, her thumb stroking my jaw line. "You've been great, Lucas…" she whispers.

I smile softly until I recognize a certain look in her eyes. The same look she had when we slept together. I don't know how to respond to it. As long as she can Peyton looks into my eyes. Then she shuffles even closer and wraps one of her legs around my waist. Her hands disappear behind my neck and I instinctively slide my hands up and down her slender body, which is curved in all the right places.

"Peyton…"

She ignores me and presses her lips to mine. Sometimes when you kiss someone, especially after a while, it can be that your teeth touch a tad clumsily or that something else happens to make the kiss imperfect. But we just… fit. Softly I twine her hair around my hand and kiss her back deeply. She moans into my mouth and sighs erotically as we pull back to catch our breath.

She looks at me long but to tell the truth, I don't recognize the emotion. A mix between seeking regret and love? I don't know and it troubles me. She closes her eyes an captures my lips again. This kiss is languid and long. There seems to be no hurry in it, though she seems to be doing this out of desperation. It's because she knows. We don't have to haste ourselves towards satisfaction because we understand each other's body. Taking it slow or fast… Making love with each other is amazing either way.

I feel myself getting turned on fast and roll so that I'm on top of her. However then the most horrible thing happens: my mom's voice starts spooking through my head. I can't believe it! I'm about to have sex with the girl I love and all I hear is my mom telling me she's using me to ease her pain and that she's leading my on.

"What's wrong?" she asks before wrapping her legs around me. Without waiting for an answer, she pulls me close against her and I groan. She does too. "Make me feel good, Luke," she then breathes, throwing her head back. I lower my head and brush my lips over the skin of her neck.

When I pull back she looks deep into my eyes. I follow her hands as they shift from my head, to my chest, to my abdomen. "No," I suddenly say. My own words shock me.

"What?" She looks up non-understanding.

"I love you, but I, I, I…can't do this…" I roll off her body. "I'm sorry."

I jump up, quickly put on my shoes and run out of her room as she calls my name. I didn't want this to happen but what if I had slept with her? It'd be history repeating itself how egoistic this may sound; I don't want to have my heart broken again. I love her but she just wants comfort sex and I don't think I can handle being just that a second time.

* * *

Since I ran away three days ago she has refused to see me and ordered Larry to not let me anywhere near her room. If I had known, I had slept with her. I screwed up for real this time; I lost her. I could've given her what she wanted and then see what gives after but I was only thinking about myself and _my_ emotions. Now she's all alone with that horrible secret and highly probable the thought I don't want her.

"Luke, is everything alright?"

"No," I shake my head.

"I notice you haven't gone to see Peyton these last days," Keith says.

"She doesn't want to see me," I reply, feeling tears sting in my eyes.

"How do you know?"

"Her father told me."

He bows his head. "What happened, Luke?"

"I don't know… I don't think she loves me, Keith," I then quietly express my fear. "She told me right before her grandmother died and I didn't believe it she meant it. Now I don't know…"

"Ah Luke…" he sighs with pity in his warm eyes. "What did you do to make her say something like that?"

"I didn't do anything but Brooke did. She almost kissed me and Peyton saw it."

"Then she was just angry," he decides as if it's the most normal thing in the world to say something that cold then. "I don't believe that girl doesn't care about you; she listened to all your childhood stories like it was best seller material."

"No, Keith…" I refuse to believe him. "I really don't think she does…I-" I can't take this anymore, all this drama yet I don't want to give up on her. She has a grip on my life and I can't get out, nor do I want to, but I'm getting so tired. "I don't _feel_ loved." With a deep breath I bury my face in my hands. When I look up I stare right into my mom's eyes. Within seconds she turns around, grabs her coat and storms through the front door.

"Oh djeez," Keith lets out. Same what I was thinking. This isn't good.

* * *

"You're Lucas' mother, right?" I hear my father ask and take a few steps down on the stairs. I can see them well enough from here.

"Yes I am. We need to talk."

She sounds angry and I feel even worse about what happened. I'm so ashamed of what I did. He's not a toy, I know but I _was_ going to use him like one again. Not because he's Lucas or because he was supportive but because he was lying there and male. I needed someone to make me forget so badly and he happened to be there. However, the thing is that he _is_ Lucas. He _is_ supportive, sweet, strong, understanding and though I don't feel quite ready to say it out loud, I love him. I love him and I shouldn't have tried to have comfort sex with him.

"What seems to be the problem?" my dad asks.

"The problem is that my son is almost crying at our table because of your daughter's behavior. And I know you and your family are going through a rough time and I'm sincerely sorry for what happened but that doesn't give your daughter the right to treat my son like dirt."

"Peyton is a complicated girl," he says frowning.

"Oh, well alright then…She's complicated, let her walk all over people!"

"All I know is, Miss Roe, is that since she was a little girl she shut herself off to the world, but she let Lucas in hers. So I don't know what happened between those two but I know it must hurt her too. You know, I'm not involved in my daughter's life much because of my job but contrary to what she might think, I do know her. There's something on her mind an-"

"And he's meant to get it off or what? He's still just a boy, he can't handle this responsibility!"

"He chose to be here… "

"He's in love with her," she scoffs.

"I know…" my dad answers.

"Do you also know he doesn't feel loved around her?" I'm taken aback. I never wanted him to feel like that yet it's always what I seem to do: I hurt the ones I love. "Luke is a boy who gives out love, he's just such a good kid and now I hear him saying he thinks that the person he loves doesn't feel the same and makes him feel worthless. How do you think that makes me feel as a mother? I only want him to be happy."

"I understand…" he nods "I'll talk to her."

"I think that's a good idea," she nods. "And I don't normally go bother people like this, trust me, but you've seen how much he cares too. It's not a silly crush, it's…" She breathes in deeply. "I'm off," she then sighs. "The Café should be quite crowded by now."

My dad nods again.

After she has left, I step further downstairs. "Dad…I have to tell you something."

He looks up, seemingly understanding, yet extremely tired. "Alright, sweetie."

"Is grandpa here?" At that moment he walked into the kitchen. Perfect timing, right? I bow my head and start weeping once again. I've been crying so much these past few days I'm surprised my eyes aren't damaged by the salt. "I turned off grandma's life support," I confess between sobs.

"What?"

"I'm so sorry! I was just thinking about her and about what she and you wanted and… I turned it off."

The whole room is at once veiled in silence. We remain standing still for about a minute. Then my grandfather slowly approaches me and envelops me in a hug. "I'm so proud of you." I wish he'd let me go so that I could go sit down on the floor. I'm exhausted, mentally and physically. My dad walks up to us and also wraps his arms around me.

Later I sit down on the couch and listen to them saying I have nothing to be guilty about, though it doesn't feel that way. They say I did something that testifies of great courage and that they personally would've been too cowardly to do it. Finally they finished with saying this shouldn't leave these walls because how brave it may have been and how well intended, it's still illegal.

"I told Lucas," I admit.

My dad's stare turns very practical. "Will he tell someone?"

"No," I shake my head. "He won't."

"OK," he nods. "OK…"

* * *

The weeks that pass are easier. I grieve, but while leaving my room again. Though I'll have to live with the inescapable feeling of guilt over my grandmother's death forever, I'm moving on slowly. My dad said it was best I didn't see Lucas for a while; he said that we're still very young and have to take a break after such an intense period. I miss him now, and it has been almost seventeen days since we talked. I want to see him again. I need to tell him I'm sorry.

My heart beats in my throat as I walk onto the Rivercourt. He's been playing basketball. By himself, luckily. I don't dare to speak so I just stand and look at him, waiting until he notices me. When he finally does, he forgets to catch his ball and it just bounces away until it leaves a silence.

"What did your mom say?" I break the silence.

He looks so vulnerable and I hate to see him like this, knowing I caused him pain. "She said you don't love me the same way I love you," he responds and I can see that little boy in him that wasn't loved by his father. It breaks my heart.

I nod. He looks down.

"Well she's wrong," I calmly say. "I know you love your mom and I know she has this crazy idea you and Brooke are meant to be or that I am, I don't know… Satan's daughter…" I sigh. "But if you're madly and deeply in love with me…I do feel the same."

He looks into my eyes.

I continue. "You just have to realize that when I say I'm a difficult person or that I'm closed, I don't say it for giggles. I really am a complicated person, I've been told all my life so you'll have to be patient with me. I also have the biggest trouble-"

Before I realize what's happening, he wraps his arm around my waist and kisses me very softly. It's hardly a kiss, more a brush of our lips. We haven't had that yet. Usually when we kissed it was like both of us had been in jail for ten years and horny as hell. This was different. It wasn't lust, it was just love. It was just him, me and sincerity. He pulls back and looks at me with the cheesiest smile on his face.

"Oh, I'm sorry for all I've put you through," I sigh. I have a lot more apologies planned but he presses his lips against mine again and softly cracks me mouth open with his tongue. "Luke…I'm…for…the thing…with Brooke," I let out between kisses. "I-"

"Will you shut up?"

I look up surprised and then do what he wants: just kiss.

I don't have a clue how long we stay there, at the Rivercourt, but it must be a while. In the evening, I just rest my head on his shoulder as we look at the lights reflecting in the river.

"Luke?"

"Hmm…?"

"What about sex?"

"You want to have sex? Now?"

"No!" I immediately say. "That's just it. I know it's early to talk about but well… You know how we are."

"We're mind-blowing!" he sighs out as if he's reliving the memory he has of us sleeping together. His face looks all happy and satisfied and I roll my eyes a little.

"That's not exactly what I mean. How good we may be together, I think we should wait a while now. I want it to mean something."

"Wait? How long?"

"Two months or something. Minimum."

"Two months? But, but… you know it will mean something now, I love you and we're together."

"Luke please, I'm not asking you to join a cloister. You're just, well, really sensitive. I want you to feel alright."

"I do! I do!"

"No, you're just thinking about sex now. What if we do it now and break up tomorrow? It COULD happen and I don't want you to think I used you. Or the other way around. I want to be certain."

He kinks his eyebrow and places a kiss right under my ear before whispering. "Alright…Because no way you'll last that long."

"What?" I ask slightly insulted. "I can last two months without sex."

"Not when I'm on your bed. And I've got proof…"

"Don't get too cocky. If anyone can't last two months without sex, it's you. You're always touching me all over."

"Not true!"

"Luke, don't you think I felt your hands all over me when you stayed with me? And I never mentioned anything because there were more serious things going on, things I'm still dealing with and so I didn't really care what you did then but… I knew what was going on when you suddenly went into the bathroom, you w-"

"Stop!" he cuts me off with red cheeks. "You know what?" he then continues. "If we're going to wait two months, we might as well make it exciting. What about a bet? The first one who caves within two months will clean the other's car for a month. And give a hundred bucks."

"You're on," I grin at him. He's going down.

* * *

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

So, they're together! :D

Anyways, this was my next-to-last chapter. Tell me what you think!


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: **Thanks for the reviews!

The last one…Hope you enjoy it!

* * *

**Chapter 12**

When I hear someone knocking on the door, I leave my lamb-with-mint behind to go open it. Tonight my mother is to some kind of fundraiser and I invited Peyton over to cook for her, firstly because I love her and want to show that and secondly to get her to cave and drag me in bed. She has been very good at avoiding sex up until now, and so have I. The fact that every time we are an inch away of giving in, someone walks in, has a lot to do with it.

Opening the door, I see her standing and my jaw drops in awe at once. She has a light-blue, shiny and very short trench coat on and high heels. Her hair is straightened and pulled back in wide ponytail so that her hair is falling until her upper back. Her burgundy red lips curl in a smile seeing how mesmerized I am and then opens her coat, revealing an ultra-tight, ultra-short, sparkling black halter dress to me.

She looks breathtaking, gorgeous, beautiful, amazing… and like Sharon Stone in Casino. Very sneaky. I'm not normally into gambling and mob films but I've always adored Casino, mostly because of Sharon Stone I admit. She looks I-don't-know-how-hot there and I've fantasized about her a hell of a lot when I was younger. Hell, I still occasionally do! And Peyton…She's even more gorgeous with those big –though mischievous- hazel eyes of her. Slowly she steps closer to me and softly strokes my collar. She's as tall as me with those heels so she doesn't have to bow over when she whispers in my ear:

"You like it, Luke?"

I tremble at her touch and her slight vanilla scent. She bows her head and starts dropping kisses in my neck. I lay my hand under her ponytail and close my eyes enjoying the feeling. She makes her way up and then softly captures my lips. Then she pulls back and smiles. I can't take it anymore and pull her against my body again before crashing my mouth into hers. She groans and deepens the kiss while closing the door and pushing me further into the room. Without trouble, she leads me to the couch and makes us fall in it, straddling me at once.

This is a fantasy coming to life and for a moment I just look up at her with my hands resting on either side of her waist. "I so need a picture of this."

She smiles while softly biting her bottom lip. She bows over and rests her lips so close to mine they're almost touching. "I've mixed in a bit of Basic Instinct too."

Before I have the chance to be shocked about the revelation she isn't wearing underwear, she kisses me frantically. Her hand shortly strokes my shirt before she starts unbuttoning it. She then slides her tongue in my mouth and I answer even more passionately. Not being able to take it anymore, I briefly raise my upper body so that I get my shirt off. She shortly rests her fingertips on my chest and then flattens her hand, dragging it down.

"Peyt…" I sigh. It's the only thing I'm able to utter as she rubs the front of my pants before starting to work on my belt.

"Give, Luke?"

Just as she got the thing loose, the door opens. Keith. Both of us proceed to look up at him like a dear in headlights, too shocked to adjust our compromising position. Me, half-naked, with my hands creeping under her dress and she with hers fumbling my belt, sitting on top of me looking like a sex-bomb.

"What the HELL is going on in here!?"

* * *

I can't help but smile as Haley tells about the date she'll have with Chris tonight. It's crazy to think that five weeks ago, I would've felt the urge to crawl across the table and pull her hair. The oddest thing, though, is that I and Chris click really well as friends, and we seem to have more respect for each other now that we're not romantically involved. Don't get me wrong, I cherish the time we had as a couple, he was my first love, my first kiss and the first time of love-making but I've simply let go now and taken those memories with me as simply something of the past to cherish.

"Peyton, I'm scared."

"Of what?"

"Of being… too inexperienced I guess. I mean, he dated Brooke."

"It's not because you sleep around that you're good in bed."

She seems unconvinced. "What about _you_? Lucas told me about the sex-"

"Haley!"

"But he did! He thought you were the best he ever had and then that…dress-up party."

"He told you that?" I ask shocked.

"Yes but that's beside the point. You're good in bed, that is the point, and I've never been…in bed. Well, I have been in bed, but just not in that way, you know what I mean. I have, I mean, heh, you know-"

"OK," I sigh out cutting her off. Softly I grab her hand. "Everything I know, I learned from Chris. If he really likes you like I know he does he'll first and foremost wait. Then, further, MUCH further in your relationship, he'll teach you how it's done. You don't have anything to be worried about, trust me."

Speaking of the devil…Suddenly Chris comes rushing through the Café's door. Before he has the chance to see me and Haley sitting together, she stands up and rushes behind the bar, shy as she apparently is when she's into someone. I look up at Chris and kink my eyebrow at his enthusiastic face.

"What did you do?" I ask suspiciously.

He turns around and lifts his shirt. I put my hand in front of my mouth in shock. On his lower back he has tattooed a staff of Stairway to Heaven, with the lyrics:

_Yes there are two paths you can go by  
but in the long run  
there's still time to change the road you're on._

I stick out my hand and touch it. "Does it hurt?" I ask slightly in awe.

"It's OK now," he replies. "But while they were putting it on I thought I was inside an iron maiden."

I make a disgusted face. Quickly the thought of being pierced by a bunch of spikes leaves my mind and I read the lyrics on his back again. "It's cool," I then say with a nod.

"You think Haley will like it?"

I almost fall off my chair in shock. He still has some serious getting-to-know stuff to do. However, one thing is for sure, him and Haley will be one interesting couple.

* * *

"Mom, cut it out!" I sigh.

For the past ten minutes she hasn't stopped eying Peyton viciously. I don't see what puts her off so much; shouldn't mothers just be happy when their child is?

"Is that that Chris boy she couldn't leave?"

I turn around and see Peyton touching Chris back and laughing. However, I know he isn't a threat anymore and though I don't exactly jump up and down at the fact, I also don't lie awake at night about the fact they seem to have replaced the romantic feelings they once had for each other for a close friendship.

"Yes."

"She's touching his back," she says as if I'm blind.

"I can see."

"Why?"

"I don't know. Go look," I respond dryly.

"Lucas!" she raises her voice.

"I'm sorry, mom, but you're being ridiculous. I trust Peyton and I trust Chris because he has fallen head over heels in love with Haley."

"With Haley?"

She turns her head away from me and just gazes into nothing. Since I can't help but be curious I narrow my eyes to splits to see what's going on that my girlfriend is touching her ex-boyfriend's back. I might be sure about her but still I'd rather if she'd not parts of him that normally aren't bare. Then I see he's got a tattoo of some sorts.

"He's got a tattoo," my mom says with panicky eyes. "And he likes Haley?"

"Yes."

"And you're happy with Peyton?

"Yes."

"And she's happy with you?"

"I hope so-"

"They're very happy with each other," I suddenly hear Keith's voice behind us. He says it in such a way and such a suggestive expression on his face I feel the urge to strangle him. She's disapproving enough as it is.

Luckily, before she has the chance to ask further, he disappears in the back. Quickly her attention is pointed back to Chris and Peyton. "But Luke, honey, look at them!"

I stare at Peyton and Chris. Peyton is wearing her plaid skirt with buckled black booths and a white long-sleeved shirt while Chris is wearing a Black Sabbath tee with dark skinny jeans and All Stars. Oh, and a tattoo, too.

"Promise me you won't come home with a green mohawk! And watch out for Haley that she doesn't get her nose pierced or something. By the way, it's not only the clothes, Lucas but that girl isn't emotionally stable." She pauses and takes a slightly dramatic breath. "And you're my baby boy and I don't know if you can handle, well, her. I had some talks with her father and-"

"Wait, what? You talked with her dad about us?"

"Yes and he confirmed she isn't exactly cheerful an-"

"Enough," I sigh out. "You don't have to be so worried," I reassure her. "She mightn't be perfect but, you know…She is to me." I don't think I'll mention she turns me on faster than light travels. "And mom…I've never been happier."

She frowns. "I know."

"So…"

"The brighter the light, the darker the shadow," she says and a sudden flash of the Omen flashes in front of my eyes.

"Please," I roll my eyes. I do see where she's coming from, but feel it isn't a right place. Dan is the devil. "Peyton is a good person, mom. And even if we'd break up, look at her and Chris. She's still great friends with him."

She heaves a deep sigh. "It's your life, Luke. Just keep in mind I care about it a lot too. You're putting so much of yourself in this relationship; I don't want to see you get hurt."

x

"We're going to see INXS…We're going to see INXS…We're-"

"Going to see INXS?" I ask her.

She blushes but nods. Two weeks ago she entered this competition to win tickets for their concert and so now we're here, getting ready to see the band. Last Sunday my mom and Keith announced they were a couple now. I'm happy for him, I'm happy for her but what I'm mostly happy about now is that they've gone to a Spa this weekend, leaving me free to do what I want. Also Larry is out of town as he's on a three-day business trip. I'm not really sure if we had been allowed to go alone with Peyton to Charleston and stay there in a motel otherwise.

Soon, we're halfway and Peyton is getting more and more excited with each mile when suddenly something rather unexpected happens. Before we realize what's going on, I hear unhealthy sounds coming from my car and have to go stand still. Peyton looks at me with instant panic as I step out to see what's going on. Damn. It's getting dark already so I squint my eyes lightly to see what the root of the problem is.

"What's wrong?" she asks.

"Flat tire."

I keep my head dry with my hood as it starts raining, and walk to the trunk to get my spare tire. In the meanwhile Peyton steps out and investigates the car though she doesn't know the first thing about it. Opening the trunk, I'm confronted with…nothing. There's no spare tire. I must've forgotten to put one there. This is horrible! She has been looking forward to this concert for weeks; she talked about it non-stop. How will I tell her we're going to miss it?

I step back to her and just gaze at her stupidly for a couple of seconds. "I…we…I don't have a spare tire," I simply say.

First her eyes fill with instant tears but then she kinks her eyebrow non-understanding and pissed as hell. "WHAT?" she asks aggressively. I feel like shrinking until I'm a pea big and run away to hide. "You did WHAT?"

"I-I-I'm sorry."

"SORRY?" she shrieks.

The rain becomes more vehement and soon we're soaking wet but neither of us feels it: she's overtaken by anger and I by fear.

"I can't believe this Lucas!!" she screams. "I TOLD you we should've taken MY car but you said it was…what was it again…? Oh, yeah, A PIECE OF JUNK. And now we're here, stranded in the middle of nowhere and missing one of my AT LEAST top _five_ fave bands ever. GOD. I've been anticipating this since I was twelve years old!! You IDIOT."

* * *

He sticks his hand out but I march forward. "Not now," I hiss. I'm just so angry right now. Can you believe he doesn't even have a spare tire? He works in freaking garage! If he wouldn't be my boyfriend he would've been a sobbing mess by now, I would've used my words as emotional swords.

"Where are you going?" he asks.

"I'm going to find a place to sleep, retard!"

"Can I come?"

I almost start to tremble in fury right now. What the hell should be the other option? Him sleeping in the car by the road? In a creek? Damn him and his MORONIC questions. "YEEEEEEEEEEEEES," I squeal so loudly my voice falls away.

As we walk in the rain, in the cold and with our wet clothes sticking to our body, I feel his eyes on me, but in this careful way, you know? Like I'm the bad guy and like he doesn't deserve any of this. It has gotten so dark too, I almost can't see anymore. Suddenly I trip over something, a branch? I don't know what it is but what I do know is that my hands are now full of mud and that I'm just dirty and wet all over. I'm so sad, disappointed and angry I could start sobbing.

"Are you alright?" he asks.

"No, Lucas, I'm not!" I cry and refuse his help as I instead crawl forward and stand up myself.

Then, like a rainbow after a dark-clouded rainstorm, I see a little house between the darkness, but with a sign in front. "Faster," I snap at Lucas. "I found something."

He shuffles behind me as I walk over the ground where the little house is. It turns out to be a farm. A freaking farm. It's better than in my imagination, where I had seen us wandering around all night. I knock on the door and wait patiently. A kind-looking woman opens and looks at me with instant worry. She looks about fifty years old and is dressed in a light-pink peignoir.

"Oh, dear, what happened?" she asks.

Lucas comes standing behind me as I do my story. "So I know it's late," I finish. "And I know this is unusual, but is it possible we stay here for the night?"

"Of course, dear. We don't have much room in the house but we've been rebuilding the old shed there" she points to a shabby looking wooden thing "for when our son comes home in weekends. It has a cooker and everything. It's only still a bit messy."

"It would be perfect," I answer. "Really perfect, and we'd be forever grateful."

She tells me it's nothing and then tells us to go ahead and she'll come along with some blankets. A few steps later, I'm standing in one of the dustiest places I've ever witnessed. But it's quite warm, there's a tub behind the corner I've been informed, a bed in the middle of the 'living room' and a little lamp giving us dimmed light. As I investigate the place, Lucas remains standing far away from me, almost in a corner. If I wasn't so pissed at him right now, I'd think his fear is sort of sweet. This isn't the case right now; all he does is annoying me further.

Ten minutes later, when the woman still hasn't brought any blankets I decide to politely go get them myself. I'm tired, I'm dirty and I'm frustrated. I want to wash and crawl under my sheets to forget this day ever happened. 'Going' and 'blankets' I mumble to Lucas as I pass him and leave the shed.

Soon I'm back with about five virginal-white blankets in my arms. I think that sweet little lady gave us her best sheets. I'm so glad we found someone like this and not some weirdo who's fantasy involves chasing us with a chainsaw. I look around and see Lucas is nowhere to be seen.

"Lucas?"

I lay the sheets down on the mattress and step further to the place I hear sounds coming from. I look around the corner and behold a half-finished bathroom and Lucas hopeful eyes. Then my second impression finally reaches me. Candles, water, bath foam. "Where did you get those?" I ask impressed, pointing at the little salmon-pink candles.

"I found them in a box," he answers silently. "I'm snoopy." He stands up and goes 'inside'. "I'll go make the beds. You, huh, relax. I won't come, I won't look."

I suddenly feel very guilty. However, I don't go after him but just undress and go half-lay, half-sit in the water because as I've said before, I'm dirty as hell and want to be clean as quick as possible. Only five minutes pass before I feel the same guilt. He's such a sweetheart and I have sort of been treating him like shit this evening. It is his fault about the spare tire, yes, but I now realize I shouldn't have acted like he started the Third World War. Plus, he's cold and wet too and I, up until now, could've cared less.

"Lucas…" I call him.

Less than three seconds later he's standing by the corner. He looks at me with this strange mix of love, lust and fright.

"Come."

"Wh-What?"

"Join me." He looks at me, silently asking with his eyes for affirmation. I nod. "I'll close my eyes," I say. "Though it's nothing I haven't seen yet."

He doesn't answer.

"In front of me," I tell him. Then I feel his body sinking into the water too. Slowly I slide my legs over his and slightly wrap them around his waist. His head is laying on the upper part of my stomach as I look down at him. He's tensed. "Sorry for the way I reacted," I say. "I'm a bitch, I know, but I'm trying to be nicer, I just had a fallback." I bow and softly kiss the side of his head. He shudders slightly. "This is nice, right?"

"I'm sorry Peyton," he apologizes again. "I know you really love them."

"I love _you,_" I reply quietly. It's the first time ever I say this to him. I haven't been able to yet. It's not that I didn't but I'm not like all the other girls, it takes time with me. I remember that before my mother died I told everyone who was dear to me I loved them, a lot. When she died, that opener part of me died. I now only tell my dad I love him and very rarely too.

He turns his body slightly and stares at me, straight into my eyes. I'm completely naked in front of him but he looks into my eyes and it may be silly but it makes me realize, only now, he loves me in a very profound way. "What?" he asks.

"I love you, Lucas."

He looks troubled and goes to lay in his original position again. "I feel like I'm not worthy of you," he says in a way that suggests this is something that has been laying on his stomach for a while now.

"Why?"

"You know what they say, at school?"

"The popular kids? You don't have to lis-"

"No, even Mouth and Junk say it."

"Says what? That you're not worthy?"

"Not like that but…Peyton, you are… _unique_, OK? Your art, your music and your strong personality…You radiate something so very special and people see that. They see you're destined for greatness and they say you'll grow tired of me in no time. You know that Lynyrd Skynyrd song? Free Bird?"

"Of course I do."

"I see you that way. I'm scared that you'll get bored and leave me. And it might be stupid, but I kind of consider you the love of my life already and I don't know if I could handle that."

"I won't leave you…Just don't push me. I don't want it to sound like a warning but I just need to discover this emotional stuff at my own rate, otherwise I get panicky and then all kind of shit happens."

"No pushing…" he softly says as if he's making a mental note.

"And I kind of consider you the love of my life already too," I confess quietly.

"Really?"

"You're not what I expected," I admit "but you've become so much more. And the over-sensitiveness…Don't worry…I'll make a man out of you," I say teasing.

He laughs and then looks up at me. Slowly I bow over and capture his lips upside down softly. He raises his arm and lays his hand in my neck as he deepens the kiss, exploring my lips like it's our first. I pull back and smile.

"You're naked," he says as if he's realizing this only now.

"I am."

He straightens his body and turns to me. Tenderly yet with a determination in his eyes, he takes my head between his hands and kisses me over and over again, languidly. I shift closer and press my body to him, wrapping my legs around me as much as I can in this space. He cracks my mouth open with is tongue and slides it against mine. Instinctively I arch my back and bite my bottom lip when his mouth leaves my lips and kisses its way down. I feel myself and _see _him getting aroused. Slowly his right hand slides from my breast over my tummy, between my legs. He strokes the inside of my thigh slowly until he shifts higher and starts rubbing me with a deliberate slowness. I let out a sharp breath.

"Luke…" I whine. "Deeper."

"What about the bet?" he asks.

"Screw the bet."

He grins and slides two fingers inside of me, biting his lip as he does so. Gasping, I throw one arm behind his neck and move along with his touches.

* * *

She reaches down and starts stroking me, causing me to hiss out her name at the incredible feeling. I need to have her now. I pull away my fingers and she moans in disappointment and frustration at once. Quickly I get out of the tub and wait for her to do the same before pulling her against me. We don't dry ourselves; I just lift her and she wraps her legs around me as I guide our bodies to the living room. There I softly lay her on the just-made bed.

I look down at her mesmerized. She's so beautiful. A body I've dreamt of seeing and touching this way again ever since we spent the night together. Her arms come up around me and pull me lower. I find myself settling between her legs and am a bit taken aback by the position we're in. We've done this before, but the circumstances were so different. She's my girlfriend now, the girl I love, the girl I consider the love of my life. She slides her legs up my thighs and shifts her hips towards mine impatiently. Every thought leaves my mind as I enter her.

I close my eyes and let out a groan as I start moving. She feels so good and she _is_ so good at this. Looking in her eyes I see they're slightly glazy and realize what a fool I am for thinking she'd just leave me. I kiss her breasts, her neck, her lips as I continue to slide in and out of her. "I love you Peyton…" I let out before burying my lips in her neck again.

I feel the heat rising even more and know it's going to be over soon. I quicken my pace, moving harder and faster as her groans grow louder and louder. We're amazing together, living up to each other's expectations as this feels like heaven. Then all of a sudden, we fly over the edge and she holds me close as we do.

Breathing heavily, I stay laying on top of her for a bit. I'm heavy but I want to be inside her for a little longer and I have the feeling she wants that too as her arms are clutched around me. I look into her eyes again and see that same glazy look.

"I've never loved like this before," she lets out silently and I swear I see a flash of pure innocence in her eyes. A piece of the girl she must've been before life happened to her.

I kiss her tenderly and softly brush my nose against hers as I break away. "Me neither, Peyt…" I sigh. "Me neither."

* * *

We're back now. My mom isn't coming home until tomorrow and so we've got the place to ourselves. I've never been naked so much in my life. With my chest rising and falling heavily, I look at my side, at Peyton who's smiling a tad daftly.

"I'm so good at this…"

I grin and roll over to her, grabbing her body. "You do know it takes two?"

"Yeah…Yeah…" she dismisses that fact jokingly. I softly smile and then bow over to kiss her collarbone softly. "OK," she then sighs out, sounding determined. "I'm going to make breakfast, I'm hungry."

"Hmmm…Me too."

I shift my lips behind her ear but she grabs a pluck of hair and pulls me back. "Food first." She throws the sheets off and puts on my shirt and boxers.

"Alright," I groan disappointed. "Just don't set the kitchen on fire."

"Shut up."

About twenty minutes later she comes back with a plateau, on it resting toast, jam and coffee for two. "See how romantic I've become!" she announces proudly as she shows me the food. "There were eggs too though but when I put them in the pan they turned all black."

"It's called burning, Peyt."

She goes to sit on the rim of the bed. "Don't you like it?"

"I do, I do…"

"No you don't," she replies half-seriously. "I'm going to eat it all by myself now."

* * *

Opening the door, Karen looks over her shoulder at Keith, who's sick as a dog. Their weekend was abruptly interrupted yesterday by his sudden flu and hence they're back in Tree Hill sooner than they had anticipated.

"Come on, Keith, let's get you in bed."

He nods and lets her lead him to her bedroom. However, as they go through the house, they here a bunch of noises coming out of Lucas' room.

"He's already up? Normally he sleeps until eleven on a Sunday."

She changes her route and now heads for Lucas' room as Keith follows her like a sheep. The door is open a bit and as she hears another voice, she doesn't immediately barge in but peeks through. What she sees almost makes her fall to the ground: the walking, from-head-to-toe-wrapped-in-issues blonde is sitting on her baby –naked- boy's bed.

"Karen…" Keith lets out so that she wouldn't do anything. "He's seventeen and he's in love. Just let him. The girl's good. She mightn't be what you had envisioned for him but I've never seen him like this. You know he always looked like he carried the weight of the world on him and that's gone now; be happy for him. I know I am." He takes a deep breath after this, feeling worse with the second.

Karen gazes back and just catches her baby boy licking jam of the girl's finger as _she_ gazes down amused. She's actually a bit surprised at all the grabbing Lucas doing; she thought Peyton was the one pulling him into closets and whatnot every chance she got but he definitely can't keep his hands off her either.

"OK," she agrees as she watches Peyton smile and kiss his nose playfully. "I'll be nice. But he's getting a preach about taking her here so sneakily, when I'm gone for the weekend."

"Fair enough."

* * *

"I got something for you." Haley stops talking to Lucas and Rachel, who she's having lunch with, and looks down at the CD in Chris' hand. "It's our demo," he continues.

Speechlessly she holds her gaze on the CD. "This is amazing, Chris," she then lets out almost in sigh.

Lucas smiles. "That's great, Hales. I bet it sounds awesome."

Suddenly Peyton plumps herself down next to him and immediately plants her lips on his. Haley looks back and forward uncomfortably between the boy she's about to get serious with and her kissing friends. Do they really need to eat each other in front of them? And those awful fish-on-the-dry sounds they make.

"You guys know no shame," Chris lets them know and they finally pull back, to Haley's relief.

"I'm sorry," Peyton apologizes. "It's just that his mother has invited me over for diner, she doesn't hate me anymore."

"So you're thanking her by tonguing her son?" Rachel asks.

"No, I'm just happy, you smartass," she replies and gives her a soft tap on the head. "Anyways, Chris…" she changes the subject. "I've got to tell you something."

"What?"

"I wish I could just lie about it but it's eating on my conscience."

"Just say it, blondie."

"OK," she starts, taking a deep breath. "Remember your diarrhea, at Brooke's house? And the panties? And the fact that I auditioned to be Juliet while I swore never to play in such a lovey-dovey play?"

He gazes at her suspiciously. "Yes…"

"Well, it was set up." She scrunches her nose and gives him an apologizing look.

"YOU did that?"

"Sorry…"

Chris looks around the circle he's sitting in and his jaw drops as Rachel, Haley and Lucas all gaze down suddenly. "You all knew?!"

"Lucas helped me, Haley and Rach just knew about it."

He shakes his head in disbelief at Lucas and Peyton. "You two are great together, complete LUNATICS. I think you can be arrested for what you did in some states! CRAZY!"

"Chris…" Haley softly rubs his arm, calming him down, and silences her voice until it's a whisper. "I know what they did is wrong but… We wouldn't be sitting here if it wasn't for them. I…really like you."

"I like you too."

Chris sighs and looks back at Lucas and Peyton who seem to be keen on breaking the Guinness Record for longest kiss yet again. Unbelievable! They really don't feel an ounce of regret for their stints, he suffered because of what they did! With evil intentions, he looks down at his plate.

"Hey!"

Lucas and Peyton pull back and before they know it, they're covered with mashed potatoes. Not much later, his pies and sauce follow as they groan, complain and yell. "WHAT THE HELL!"

"Not hell, blondies," he smirks. "Just your specialty."

"What's that, for God's sake!?" Peyton screams.

"Eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth."

"You're going DOWN!"

She grabs a handful of spaghettis and throws it on his hair. As Chris rubs the tomato sauce off his cheeks, Peyton glances at Lucas determined.

"You're going to help me, Clyde?"

"Sure thing, Bonnie."

* * *

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The end! Hope you guys liked it and…Review!


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